Friend asking for 'financial support for a few months'...

It's not even a loan that this 'friend' is asking for. She is expecting OP to support her financially while she goes travelling. She has no intention of paying it back.

She may have been there but she’s no friend now. Today is a very, very poignant one for you. It’s not long since you’ve lost your husband, it’s just before Christmas.
This ‘friend’ hasn’t even asked for something specific, it’s an open-ended agreement where she gets to live off the money you make from working hard and whatever your DH left you. Which is for you and your future.
She is absolutely despicable. Good friends are rare but nobody needs a friend like this one.
She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.
I wouldn’t even give her an explanation, I’d tell her no and ask for some space.
And I’d make that space permanent.
What a horrible, shitty thing to do.
So sorry for your loss.

Block her

No. Just say you don’t loan money to anyone.

So sorry OP hope you are ok. Your friend is a CF.

I am so sorry for your loss. She is exceptionally rude and cheeky, I’d be telling her to piss off

What a tough time of year this must be for you; I’m so sorry.
Needless to say, this request must be swatted away, with no explanation necessary (unless it be to tell her what you think of her gall) .
You lose nothing if you never hear from her again.

Tomorrow is the Winter solstice, OP, and year starts turning towards the light.
I hope things start to feel brighter with you (and certainly lighter, without those leeches of all kinds who’d drain your reserves.)

Op I know you can’t think about it today, but when you can, think through how it would go.

you gift her thousands and thousands to quit her job and go travelling.

she comes back. She can’t find a job, as you enabled her to quit in the first place, you then have to keep bank rolling her as its your fault in her mind, if you’d not agreed in the first place she’d not be unemployed.

it will go on for ever, she wants to live off you.

ignore her today, don’t thank her for the message on your husband, tomorrow just text her on your voice note the answer is no. Do not ask again.

id say just block but im guessing she knows where you live.

I’m sorry for your loss. My DH died in 2023, so I can empathise.
I haven’t had anyone ask me directly for money, but some people seem to have a strange idea of widow’s finances.
As you and I know there is normally a sudden drop in household income, rather than an increase. All financial responsibility is now solely yours.
A ‘friend’ who expects someone in your position to work full time so she can swan around and ‘find’ herself - or whatever it is she wants to do, is not a friend that’s worth keeping.
One thing that being ( suddenly) widowed has taught me is that, aside from my own now adult children, I need to put myself first. We no longer have our DH’s to put us first.
Say no, if it ends the friendship then so be it, it’s worth the loss.

She's being really insensitive and fucking cheeky. She wants you to subsidise her to stop working and go travelling! If she needed some money in a dire emergency, I'm sure that you would help her. This request is really out of order.

I'd reconsider our relationship and would probably drop her as a friend. She obviously gave you no help or support when you were grieving following the death of your DH. She's obviously very selfish and self-absorbed. She would be no loss as a friend.

I’m so sorry for your loss. Did you get a life insurance pay out and tell those friends?
give no reasons for the no just say no. Any push back and say money is invested and cannot be accessed. Give as little information as possible and don’t ask questions to kill the conversation.

This ⬆️.
Do not give reasons, and whatever you do, don't apologise.
So many people on here suggest that as a default.

Wow. So sorry for your loss. Today must be a hard day for you.

I can’t believe your friend would ask this of you, and it seems like the acknowledgment of your grief was possibly an afterthought since you didn’t reply.

Of course you’re shocked. Your friend has no business trying to get you to take on her problems as your own. If you’ve known each other 22 years she should be well into adulthood and standing on her own two feet by now.

It sounds like she’s a drain, insensitively complaining and not listening to your advice. It wouldn’t be a big loss if this ended your friendship by the sounds of it.

I would end this 'friendship' - we would all rather travel the world than work but why should she expect you to support her daydreams ?

I'd tell her straight to fuck off as she is a grabby CUNT.

Her lifestyle choices arent your concern - she showed you no compassion when you needed it - you should show her none now.

Seriously, tell her to get to fuck, then block her sorry fucking ass. Life is too short for fucking greedy cunts like this.

You should say no! It isn’t your responsibility to allow the friend who doesn’t like her present living circumstances to pack it all in and go travelling! She clearly sees you as a cash point to fund her whims whilst you still work to pay your bills. Tell her clearly that you aren’t prepared to help her financially.

I have been where you are, lost my husband in 2011, and am so sorry for your loss but my goodness you have some humdingers of friends don't you? Are you sure she was ever a friend or just someone you have known for a long time? Anyway OP, protect yourself from such unpleasant CFery.

She's not even asking for a loan, she just wants you to fund her not working whilst she fucks around instead?!

Why on earth would she think you would want to work full time to pay for her to not have to?

It does not matter if you have had. 'Windfall' since your husband died. It is no one else's business. Money cannot replace loved ones and any money you do have is to support YOU in the rest of your life. Your friend is a cheeky fucker of the highest order. You will be taken aback but, firstly, be kind to yourself and put yourself first. Then think about how to proceed. If you want to continue the friendship then simply 'sorry but I do not have the spare funds for that'. If you want to call her out then you would be well within your rights by asking what on Earth she is thinking and why does she imagine you should support her? You could also go further to state that she is preying on someone in a vulnerable position and she is nothing more than a vulture.
Be kind to yourself today, OP. You don't need to reply today. I hope you have some time carved out for yourself to do something that will bring you some peace and joy today.

Just write a message saying,
"No, I'm not in a position to give any financial support."

I'd be ignoring the rambling voice notes too. They are so fucking annoying at the best of times.

She is not your friend. She is a leech.

Your friends sound like vultures OP, please say no.

Op she’s been thinking uou came into money since he passed and building up to this, as she wants it. It is utterly heinous. You need to say no immediately and put a stop to this and you need to end this friendship with immediate effect.

I agree with many of the posts above: do not offer the money.

I was in a similar situation with a sibling and can say from bitter experience (more fool me that I gave said sibling "loans" that were never repaid) is that all it will lead to is resentment and anger. My relationship with said sibling has never recovered.

I'm sorry to hear that Christmas is a tough time owing to the loss of your DH. Look after yourself.

I'd reply " is this a joke? Obviously I'm not doing that."

I'd also stop listening to her voice notes. They are lazy and annoying anyway.