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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

142 replies

sorrytorun · 20/12/2025 08:18

On antibiotics for pneumonia. Feeling awful. Haven’t been able to leave bed for a week.

DSC (5) is with us this weekend. DH has announced today that his 5- aside football team is playing a charity match today. He will be on the bench 🙄 he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.

i said I was feeling rotten and usually I’d be fine to look after DSC but can he take him with him today.

he said “you could watch a film with him?” I said no again and he flounced off saying he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Aibu?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2025 08:33

Also, this has really riled me, but it’s the Saturday before Christmas, and he sounds like the kind of dad who rarely sees his child, so any decent parent would have organised Santa visits, light trails etc etc
it beggars belief that he prioritises the bench at a crappy social football match and thinks it’s fine to dump his child with someone unrelated who has blooming pneumonia!!

my controversial opinion is that some people shouldn’t be alllowed kids, and he’d be one of them.

PictureMeThus · 20/12/2025 08:32

He is being completely unreasonable. The child is 5, if they were 10 it would be a little different but 5 year olds are very needy and need their parent. He is the parent and he needs to make sacrifices.

The fact that he is also willing to swan off out the door when you are clearly very unwell is also quite telling. Dh wouldn't leave me to sit on the bench and not even play. He would stay home to look after his child and be there for me and whatever I need too.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 20/12/2025 08:32

No no no no no no no no no.

He shouldn’t be making plans at all when his DC are over. It’s his DC to look after. People who bring children to relationships have no right to push their responsibilities to other people. Especially not when it’s not offered.

FromageTime · 20/12/2025 08:30

Your title is completely misleading.

Your husband is a selfish arse.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2025 08:28

Also, what an absolute cunt of a father you would have to be to subject your child to getting pneumonia so that you could go with your footie team. This would be a ‘I’m ending this relationship’ right now situation for me. Horrible man. Awful father.

Shedmistress · 20/12/2025 08:27

You've got pneumonia and he wants you to babysit?

Good lord no. These fucking useless 'dads'.

Notsolax · 20/12/2025 08:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Pineapplewaves · 20/12/2025 08:26

Your DH should be looking after his son or finding someone else to babysit. Surely he’ll be going for drinks somewhere afterwards so it will be more than three hours?

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2025 08:26

‘he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.’

how weird that those are the only 2 options the two of you thought were available.
surely the third option, he doesn’t go on the bench, is the obvious one?
he sounds beyond selfish, which I’m sure extends to other things, and isn’t a trait I’d have any interest in being around.

HippopotamusForChristmas · 20/12/2025 08:24

Another day, another dickhead husband

Octavia64 · 20/12/2025 08:24

No you are ill

Treylime · 20/12/2025 08:23

Shouldn't he be doing Christmassy things with his 5 year old a few days before Christmas? I bet there will be a pub visit afterwards.

saraclara · 20/12/2025 08:23

Your sentence construction is a bit off. The child isn't the one with the infection.

But you're right to say no.

adjsavedmylife · 20/12/2025 08:23

YANBU x 100

PicaK · 20/12/2025 08:22

Yanbu at all

lemondropsandchimneytops · 20/12/2025 08:21

At first I thought DSC was the one with the chest infection! But definitely YANBU. Hope you feel better soon.

Agix · 20/12/2025 08:21

Misunderstood at first and thought the child was the one with the chest infection!

Heck no, you should not have to look after your step child whilst you have a chest infection and the child actual parent buggers off! Stand your ground.

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