To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

You're right, it sure would have been if she'd agreed!

It won’t be three hours. Hes going to the pub. Sad for his 5 year old.

I thought it was going to be a Premiership match that he’d spent mega bucks on a ticket. Not a piddly five a side kick about.

and he flounced off saying he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

What a big fucking baby.

“There’s a reason you’ve been put on the bench” would have been my response to that. If I’d been quick enough to think it at the time. Which I probably wouldn’t. Perhaps you can work that one in if he’s still acting like a twat when he gets home.

Other children? You would think absolute worst case scenario there might be a couple of children watching so that Mum can have a couple of hours to wrap the presents up and then straight home to do family activities for the rest of the day.

Given this one’s an every other weekend, father you’d think he would want to have the most of every hour with his child.

He doesn't sound great @sorrytorun

This is what you will have to deal with if you have kids with him. He's planning to play football the weekend before Xmas when he has a 5 year old son who he prob doesn't see regularly.

that is already rubbish - factor in you're in bed with pneumonia... I would question how your relationship would be in 10 years.

He is not a keeper.

You've in bed with pneumonia and he is expecting to leave his five year old child with you? No chance! He either takes his child with him, doesn't go to football or negotiates with his ex-wife to swap days.

He doesn't sound very concerned about your very serious illness.

What a twat . He wants to make a 5 year old wait around in the cold bored rather than spend time with him ? A man that prioritises football over family and an ill partner is not attractive

I’d expect there’d be other children watching the football as well - and the child has come to see his Dad and so going with him seems the logical choice.
It’s just not reasonable to expect you to look after any child if there’s another option and you are so unwell.
So many selfish men!!!! Come on guys - do better!

This is so far removed from what a decent person should do and where your expectations should be for a relationship.

A decent father would have organised Christmas stuff with and for their kid months ago. Maybe with you too. Once you got pneumonia, plans should have slightly changed so that he could take the child away from you as much as possible for both your sakes. A decent partner would have been up early, made sure you had everything you needed, a lemsip, hot water bottle, soup made etc and taken his son out.
Don’t accept anything less op.

I feel like I can see why the relationship with his kid's mum ended.

No dh. Why dont you do some christmas craft with them/ take them to Christmas Market or something else Christmasy and make the most of your time together just before Christmas.

Why can’t he come off the bench? There are other adults there, surely. Make sure 5 yo has been to the toilet beforehand, take a camping chair and a blanket, tell him not to get up off the chair and give him a phone or tablet to play on. Single parents have to deal with this stuff all of the time, mine had to manage 90 min on the sidelines at that age if I had no childcare available

The fact that he has asked, you said no and hr still tried to change your mind shows how horrible he is. He shouldn't have even asked you.

Even if it was your own son yanbu. But someone else's... while he goes out. Wtf?

YANBU at all.

He should stay home and look after both of you!

Well he is showing you what he really wants from your relationship - a babysitter for his child , for those times when being a Dad is just too much for him…🙄

His little one deserves better, as do you. The child cannot make a choice to leave at this age, but you can.

How many matches was he being benched for, for it to be 3 hours?

You’ve found yourself the partner of a shitty father and shitty partner. A selfish man. Read the writing in the walls don’t have babies or a marriage with him.

3 or so hours suggests he is off to the pub as well as football, though wouldn't be surprised if he isn't really going to football

I would get through Christmas and leave. He does not care or value you.

I agree with this 👆

Football is more important then his child

that says it all

you are ill

even if not poorly - it’s the weekend before Xmas and dad should be seeing his child not swanning off of football - even tho it’s charity

or take the child with him - but yes would mean he can’t play

Wake up call - don't waste your life on a man who doesnt value you.

She hasn’t married him and if she’s got any sense she won’t nor have any children with him. He is not a good father.

Tell him no. Hope you feel better soon @sorrytorun . You're obviously really unwell x

Yet another selfish, lazy, shit dad and partner being 100% inappropriate.

He asked you a question and when you said he should take him, he wasn't happy. Why did he ask if he should take his child abs when you said yes, he got in a huff.

He needs to let the team know he can't go today. Simple.