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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

142 replies

sorrytorun · 20/12/2025 08:18

On antibiotics for pneumonia. Feeling awful. Haven’t been able to leave bed for a week.

DSC (5) is with us this weekend. DH has announced today that his 5- aside football team is playing a charity match today. He will be on the bench 🙄 he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.

i said I was feeling rotten and usually I’d be fine to look after DSC but can he take him with him today.

he said “you could watch a film with him?” I said no again and he flounced off saying he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Lurker85 · 20/12/2025 09:52

The prick isn’t even good enough to make the team. Shit father, shit partner, shit footballer 😂

Lurker85 · 20/12/2025 09:50

Even if it was your biological child he should take them with him or stay home, never mind a step child!

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/12/2025 09:47

I’ve had pneumonia a few times. It’s brutal. You are quite right to say no, apart from the fact that he should not have asked! FFS. Not sure if this is typical, but what a selfish man your H is. Bet he wanted to go to the pub after too.

Horses7 · 20/12/2025 09:46

Selfish man-child!

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2025 09:45

I’m blown away at the suggestions that the child should sit in the car/on the bench for 3 hours.
wtaf? Have you missed that this father doesn’t live with his son, and spends a tiny amount of time with him anyway, and it’s the weekend before Christmas, and he’s at one of the best ages for the magic of Christmas?!?

a kid sitting on a bench is kinda fine in the middle of summer, with a parent they see often just having a little me time. This is a totally different situation.

Rattai · 20/12/2025 09:44

Seriously?
Is this a joke?
This man is awful

LouiseK93 · 20/12/2025 09:40

Husband should stay home and miss the match. Not because DSC isnt "your" child, I would expect a husband to stay home for shared children too.

SL2924 · 20/12/2025 09:38

JFC absolutely no chance. Can’t believe he even asked

grinchmcgrinchface · 20/12/2025 09:36

Yanbu. I would tell him HIS child HIS responsibility. Your not the nanny!

Leopardspota · 20/12/2025 09:35

Even if this was your own child it’s pretty bad. If I was unwell and my husband wasn’t doing something essential like working or looking after our other child at a party, I’d expect him to look after the child in question. It might be different if he had long standing plans (depending how unwell I was) but new plans… er no.

bigboykitty · 20/12/2025 09:34

He sees his son every other weekend, and the weekend before Christmas his plan is to fuck off and play football, leaving his son to be looked after by his partner who has pneumonia. Is there no bottom to the man barrel?

Eyeshadow · 20/12/2025 09:34

I accidentally clicked YABU and it won’t let me change it!

YANBU

Its not much fun being out in the cold for 3 hours for a 5yo but DH will need to get a babysitter or only go for half the match (or not go at all).

How close can he park?
Could DS sit in the car in the warm and have an iPad and snacks.

Tbh I’m not sure how happy I’d be with my 5yo coming and no one watching them properly.

I wonder if he was hoping that you would come too or just assumed you’d say yes to looking after him and never had any intention of bringing him.

columnatedruinsdomino · 20/12/2025 09:34

Even if you are fit and well he should be with his dc not swanning off to do whatever he wants. And to be pissed off with your answer! Major reset needed

Hollietree · 20/12/2025 09:32

It makes no difference that it’s your Stepchild. If it were your shared child then the outcome should be the same - his wife is ill and so he needs to cancel football and look after his child. Or it’s up to him to find another suitable relative/friend who is willing to look after the child so he can still attend football.

LogicVoid · 20/12/2025 09:31

I guess he wasn't always a dick.

LilWoosmum82 · 20/12/2025 09:29

Erm no, besides feeling ill, i doubt DSC mother would be v happy if he caught your chest infection. Use that argument and tell him no way and you expect him to bring you a takeaway or make you a meal tonight. Cheeky man

IsawwhatIsaw · 20/12/2025 09:29

It’s not about the football, it’s the pub visit he wants.
He sounds a selfish unpleasant man.

Cars4Gov · 20/12/2025 09:26

Would he ask a male friend who was still recovering from a chest infection to look after his son? My guess is no. It's the assumption you are female and will deal with it.

He could take his son but would need a responsible person at the club to look after him if asked to play. It isn't a big deal but I suspect he doesn't want to be seen as having dad responsibilities which is a sign of immaturity.

LumpyandBumps · 20/12/2025 09:26

Wow, what a prince among men!
You are ill and need to be in bed, and instead of offering to look after you he announces he’s going out, and gets in a strop when you CAN’T care for his 5YO?
If he’s on the bench for the match it means they have at least a full team. The team doesn’t need him as much as his son does, but he’s happy to dump his son so that ( in all probability) he can just go out and get pissed and be of no use to anyone.
There are worse things than being single, just saying!

Milkbloo · 20/12/2025 09:14

So so so so so so selfish, oblivious, insensitive and uncaring of him. I’m very sorry you were treated that way. 🌹

HugglesAndSnuggles · 20/12/2025 09:12

This is for your partner and the child’s mum to sort out. How selfish of your partner.

Planesmistakenforstars · 20/12/2025 09:12

Imdunfer · 20/12/2025 09:10

he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Why not? There will be other players on the bench, plus all the other supporters. One of them can watch the boy for him.

Show quote history

Because what he means is he won't be able to go to the pub.

Imdunfer · 20/12/2025 09:10

sorrytorun · 20/12/2025 08:18

On antibiotics for pneumonia. Feeling awful. Haven’t been able to leave bed for a week.

DSC (5) is with us this weekend. DH has announced today that his 5- aside football team is playing a charity match today. He will be on the bench 🙄 he’s asked me if I can look after DSC for “3 or so hours” whilst he goes or whether he should take him with him.

i said I was feeling rotten and usually I’d be fine to look after DSC but can he take him with him today.

he said “you could watch a film with him?” I said no again and he flounced off saying he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Aibu?

he won’t be able to come off the bench now.

Why not? There will be other players on the bench, plus all the other supporters. One of them can watch the boy for him.

Poodlelove · 20/12/2025 09:09

He needs a slap.

He has no consideration for you or his son.

Cherrysoup · 20/12/2025 09:09

Less than a week before Christmas and he is prioritising football over a 5 year old?! Says it all, really. It’s fricking freezing today, OP should be in a warmed, child should be doing something lovely with his dad, not sitting freezing outside.

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