To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

I wouldn't OK this with DH and we only have shared children. What a selfish arse! Sorry OP, hope you feel better soon.

Its fascinating to me how many fathers have regular hobbies and expect everything else to take second place. He cant come off the bench? Oh well.

Don’t get pregnant to this man.

Saturday before Christmas - he’s buggering off on the five year old child he only sees sometimes to sit on a bench. Twat.

never mind him feeling entitled to your unpaid labour while you’re sick.

Why can't he come off the bench? Whoever is on the bench can keep an eye on the kid.

Usually would say YABU because I hate threads where stepparents refuse to engage with their SC or treat them like second class citizens. On this occasion, with you being sick and your DP not needing emergency childcare then YANBU at all. If sitting on a bench for 1.5 hours is so important to him, he can take his poor DS.

”you could watch a film with him”

and the response at that point should have been “so could you”.

Ugh. Another selfish manchild.

He shouldn’t be planning anything like that on the weekends he has his child. If something came up and you offered to look after him then that would be different, but it shouldn’t be expected, and for him to ask you to look after him when you’re so ill is completely unacceptable.

Please reconsider if this is the man you want to spend your life with.

Very inconsiderate of him to ask when you’re feeling rough. Here’s an idea, he could miss the football and spend time with his child.

God no, you wouldn't be able to care for a child when youve pneumonia! I've had it, and didn't have the breath to walk to the bathroom without stopping for a rest midway.
He should be taking the opportunity to look after you, or take dsc out of the house so you can rest.

I would honestly start to think if there are other examples of him putting his pleasure/good time ahead of his child’s and yours. (Guaranteed this isn’t an isolated incident…) I’m guessing his ex is “crazy” and “a nag” and “nothing he ever did was good enough”….. You’ll be hearing this about you now.

Fucking hell no. What is going on today on mumsnet? So many unreasonable requests and posters who aren't sure if no is a reasonable response.

Im sure dad bods rovers will be fine if Carl Ronaldo sits on the bench for the 90 mins,

Won't be able to come off the bench? Won't be able to go to the boozer after more like.
Shit, selfish dad and partner.

Yes the wording in your title is misleading! But if you cant leave your bed yet then of course YANBU. You don't want to mess with pneumonia and should rest until you are well on the way to recovery.

Your DSC is quite young and may not be safe left to play out of your sight for three hours.

He should be staying at home to look after YOU and his child.

Why doesn’t he want to spend time with his child? He sounds a right cunt and that’s before he’s being completely unreasonable about guiding tripping you when you’re so ill.

He gave you options. Then flounced when you chose the “wrong” one! Manchild.

Another one who thinks it is the pub afterwards that this man is more interested in.
He is not a good father or partner.

Surely he knew about the match long before this morning? Was he hoping that by springing it on you, you feel obligated to help?

I imagine this isn’t the only selfish thing he’s done, how often does he ask you to take care of his DS on his rare contact days? What is the split of household tasks like usually?

As above if you’re this ill and he’s only on the bench anyway he ought to be calling out of the match and staying home to take care of you.

you really need to take note of his behaviour and consider if this is the kind of person you want to be with long term.

Sadly this.

Fling the cat in the pigeons and text his captain to say he can’t make it as he has to look after his child

'Sorry lads, I can't do football today because I've got my kid staying over' are the words your husband is looking for.

As you are unwell, and clearly (to everyone else, other than your partner) you aren't in any position to care for his son, then your partner pulls out of the charity match. The match didn't suddenly crop up, it's obviously been on the cards for a while, and as you've been unwell, your partner should have made alternative arrangements for his son. If he doesn't want to pull out of the charity match, then he finds someone else to care for his son. Some men are very good at putting themselves and their hobbies way before their family. It's selfish and immature. Your partner is responsible for his son, not you. It's your partner's weekend, yet he's prioritising himself over his son.

@saraclara She's clearly quite ill, don't be a knob. It's perfectly clear once you read the post.

You're not unreasonable at all OP, he takes him or he doesn't go. End of. I'd also have a serious talk with him later about why he considers it acceptable and how he sees women's roles.

Fuck that, his child = his responsibility.

Does your DP add value to your life? If not, get rid.

Hope you are feeling better soon.