To not look after DSC with a chest infection whilst DP goes to a football match

No idea why you are being so petty, single parents manage.

What a dick

Hope you told him to fuck off…permanently!

Pneumonia is a very serious infection, please concentrate on looking after yourself. I hope you get better soon.

Is he also a cocklodger?

Sounds like the type.

Sorry OP. Hope you're feeling better soon.

I think if he only has his son at weekends or every other weekend he shouldn’t go anyway. This time should be precious with his and his son. If he has him 50/50 then that is slightly different.
No it’s not appropriate for you to look after him when you are ill.

What did I just read? The women need to run around changing plans so as not to inconvenience the man (i.e. the PARENT who is responsible for the child this weekend)?

What a horrible pathetic man child.
His child is there to see HIM. Not to be palmed off on his sick partner while he prats around on a jolly with the boys

I’d personally think it was well off even if you weren’t sick, especially as it’s just a few days from Xmas when everyone is busy

Is the thus hands off with his own child generally OP?

No, you’re not being unreasonable, and your DH needs to stop pouting and STFU. The fact that the child is a stepchild is irrelevant here, you’re too ill and it’s his responsibility to solve his childcare issues.

Wouldn’t the little lad enjoy the match with his dad?
Fancy trying to offload precious time with the poor child onto someone else, never mind a seriously ailing someone you are supposed to love.

If it weren't for the dread effect it’d have on the mothers involved, you'd sometimes wish it were illegal for dads to live apart from their kids. They so often need to have one damn foot nailed to the living room floor in order that they be even a little bit ‘present’.

There are far too many inadequate, feckless, and selfish dads around. (Beats me how they ever get so far as to have partners, let alone pregnant ones, AND the subsequent ones who’ll look after their part-time kids. 🤬)

[ Sorry, just needed a rant this morning, as I can’t find the rest of the bloody croissants I had with my coffee yesterday!]

Not the greatest idea to have a child in close connection with someone who has a chest infection '. I'm sure the child's mum wouldn't be thrilled at the notion during Christmas week.

I would have said NO too! And actually, if there’s illness in your home why has DH agreed to have his child to stay…….and I do get that it’s probably ‘his weekend’ etc………wouldn’t the child be safer staying with birth mum?

He didn't really ask you @sorrytorun because he'd already signed up for football and just expected you to say yes. While you're unwell and having some quiet time I'd think about how often he leaves his DS with you so he can go and have fun on his own, then ask yourself what sort of DF sees his DC so little but is happy to leave him with you.
I hope you're feeling better for Christmas

I divorced my first husband after he did something similar many years ago. I was in bed with a nasty chest infection and he told me he was going out with friends for the day. When I asked him to stay at home to help look after our young children, I saw the contempt on his face when he said no and he stayed out all day and late into the night. He’d often been selfish, but I realised then that he didn’t really love me and the marriage was over. As soon as I recovered from the illness I started planning to leave. I think you should plan to leave too.

Presumably your partner has limited contact time with his son. Why dosen't he prioritise his son when he has him? It's unreasonable for him to expect to outsource his parenting to you whether you are ill or not.

Also just to add he reminds me of my ex who huffed when I left him to look after our kids for 45 minutes so I could get a flu jab. Guess why he’s an ex?

YANBU - but if you'd been well does that mean he'd have dumped his 5yo on you for the afternoon on the last weekend before Christmas in order to play a hobby game of football? That is utterly shit of him. His son will only be five for a short time - in a few years the son may well want to join him for football but in the meantime what about a visit to Santa, walk round the neighbourhood to see the Christmas lights, take him shopping to get a present for his mum so he has a surprise gift for her on Christmas day, go to some local carols. If all he can really think of is watching a film then he should be the one snuggling up with his kid and watching the film together. This guy makes "Disney dads" look aspirational. At least they actually put in some effort.

I was about to say no way he can’t drag a sick child out for 3 hours ! But looking at the comments it’s you who’s not well, in that case YANBU

But who raised this man-child to think that he can dump his inconveniences into the women in his life?

God no!! Don’t pass the buck to another woman! Sorry but this is terrible advice. The op is not her partners PA and neither should he palm his kid who he barely sees off on any woman he can find.

The answer is neither.

DH should be doing some child- centred activities with his child while you recover from pneumonia. It’s Christmas week, there will be plenty of activities to choose from.

Find the strength not to cave in OP ..I have seen all this beforewhere its easier to struggle and cave in to keep the peace, so close to christmas etc or what ever excuse comes to mind. Please don't its a very slippery slope from here on in if you do. Refuse please for you.

I have only had a chest infection once and I don't think I've ever been so unwell. I couldn't do anything for 2 weeks. I certainly couldn't have sat and watched a movie with a young child.

Your DH should be doing christmassy things with his son not playing football. And you are not an exchange even when you are well for him to parent.

I hope you feel better soon.

Your DP is child. Tell his Mum on him.
"Sorry to bother you and short notice, Liz, but I'm ill in bed with pneumonia and DP can't look after your grandchild because he needs to be on the bench for a 5-a-side match for 3 hours. Can you give us a hand (4 days before Christmas) please?"

I dont know where these horrible men come from.