Lodgers struggling boyfriend staying over

Is this a case of, 'no one falls in love as fast as a man who needs somewhere to live' and he's using her to live in your place for free.

"steps foot" 🤯 - sets foot OR steps. otherwise agree.

How is she managing to have a holiday when she's a 19 year old who's not currently working?

Watch your place carefully before she leaves.

I'm reminded of the saying "No good deed goes unpunished". I hope you don't catch a cold by allowing her to stay on til the end of the month. Your kindness may not be perceived as such but demonstrative of a lack of self respect and care for your own family in which case don't be surprised if things get a lot worse.

You're not in anyway obliged to honour her staying until the end of month, as you know, @Breadandsticks . I would install ring doorbells, if you don't already have them and tell her that if her boyfriend steps foot in your home, she will be asked to leave immediately. And stick to that.

Oops i am clearly nit up to date here. Good luck

Well , you couldnt make it up! Fired on the spot?.. from what work. Load of nonsense, he is homeless , as was she but now trying to get back on her feet, with some thanks to you. No to the 'boyfriend'- you did right. He needs a seperate 'you'

She’s a fool, but a lot of 19yo are. It’s a good reason to bring your child up better than this, with more self respect and family support so they don’t end up being used.
Silly girl, I hope it’s all quiet until she leaves, she’s absolutely shameless.

So even the ‘embarrassment’ of Christmas didn’t stop them. End of the month probably can’t come quickly enough for you. Do you think he is manipulating her?

Oh, just seen your last post. I’d give her notice now.

You can’t trust her.

She had gone against your very clear wishes.

Why was he fired?

All very odd.

Agree that she needs safeguarding here.

I enjoyed the flexibility of being a lodger in case things didn’t work out in the flatshare,
no one is saying there are no benefits for sure. However the risk of being turfed out that struck me during the early weeks of the pandemic definitely outweighed those benefits and made me rethink it.

It might suit some but for me as someone who didn’t have family in the city I was living in to fall back on, security of tenancy ended up being more important.

Although I did have some lovely stays as a lodger and still keep in touch with some landlords so I don’t regret it, but I am glad to be no longer a lodger.

Obviously the up side of being a lodger is that you also don't make any long term or legally binding commitment - it works both ways. A lodger knows what will happen if they flout the rules and expectations. It's just the OP's partner who's done some kind of weird 180.

Yeah I know the lodger is the “villain” in this scenario but generally speaking I would never be a lodger again or recommend it .

I remember during Covid there were rules protecting tenants from eviction and to my shock I wasn’t covered as a lodger.

I had an argument with my roommate who was (legally) subletting to me and was worried I’d be turfed out with nowhere to go in spring 2020. Thankfully she wasn’t heartless and/or probably still badly wanted my help with the rent 😂 and we smoothed things over and remained civil until I left.

I moved out into my own flat in July 2020 as soon as the restrictions were dropped thankfully and have been there ever since.

I used to like being a lodger because it often involved living with the landlord or a long term tenant who tended to keep nicer homes than the ones without the landlords in them or a string of short term tenants. But on that occasion it struck me how precarious it is.

I have been a lodger and had absolutely zero rights moved out after a month due to absolutely ridiculous rules but I never ever invited anyone over or had over night guests and in this case you have a child so I would be making it clear you aren't happy and let her stay alone until her time is up for payment due again and then say she has to move on if you choose to rent a room again I would suggest you pick someone older and do background checks

This was my original answer on the 20th Dec and it still holds now.

Why do you think your OH has caught the weird??

Id also absolutely not be going away over new years, as you just know she will have this waste of space over

Also how's he supposed to bring the extra rent in if hes unemployed (as is she)

Youre being very nice giving her a months notice, but during this time, you risk her bringing him in again

Id want both gone immediately, and then change the locks

Get him, and her, out of YOUR house, away from your baby. You both need to safeguard your baby, you dont owe this CF man a single thing, he shouldn't even be in your house, and the girl is taking the piss having him there despite you saying you didnt want him, because she knew you weren't there so went behind your back while you were away

How can you feel safe even leaving the house for some shopping or work at this point

Throw them out, especially him. Its their problem where to go after that, she broke the rules youd set, so its her own fault

Shes also now unemployed, so im sure the next thing she will CF around is that she cant afford her lodging payment this month etc

I wouldn't be at all shocked if you find stuff missing, you need to search ASAP and get the police involved if needed

GET RID

Ban him from YOUR house and end her lodging agreement while youre in the process

Firstly id be doing g a VERY indepth search of the place to see if hes nicked anything

He sounds an absolute CF, and at this point so does she. Bin both, and if you need a lodger, id be wanting a single professional business person

Your husband at this point is not supporting you, your house, or your baby why is this utter CF taking priority over you (his wife) and his baby's safety?

There's no way id want a drunk in my home, never mind living there

Definitely makes you wonder if she took the piss in her parents home too, hence why they gave her the boot

Have they gone?

I think this lodger has bad news written all over her and did from the start. Just because she’s female doesn’t mean she won’t cause trouble, and she has proven she can’t be trusted. I have had a female lodger before thinking she would be more trustworthy than a male and she was awful; she didn’t pay on time and when she left after I asked her to go, she stole from me.

If it's really about the money for your husband, he would be asking how are 2 people with no jobs going to pay the rent?

They're not. They've spotted you as easy marks and she's trying to move him in and then she'll cry to your husband because he's the chump. And they'll be staying and he'll have money for his substances but you'll get excuses for rent.

You want to pay for a manipulative woman with no job and now her drunk BF? They would be taking money from your baby.

Your husband is a prize dumbass.

When I was a lodger in a young couples home they had a rule that all guests must be out of the house by 10PM. Which was great, I was in a relationship with a much older man at the time and I didn't want him sleeping over. I'd have made up that rule if it didn't already exist.

I’d honestly tell them they need to leave now. She’s broken her promise, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable going away. Make sure you change the locks once they’ve left.

I’d also be quite pissed off with your other half for not backing you and for suggesting they can stay.