I don’t get on with my FIL. He’s controlling, his way or no way, barely speaks to me, turns his nose up at our stuff and generally sucks the joy out of a room. Examples include: when my kids were babies he bought a totally inappropriate car seat (toddler seat for a 6-month-old). When we politely said it wasn’t safe, he lost the plot and accused us of dictating to him.
MIL sadly died a few years ago and since then FIL refuses to do Christmas anywhere unless it’s at our house. Last year my mum invited him to hers for Christmas dinner, he refused but wanted to come to ours for breakfast instead. I said no because we wanted a few hours just us and the kids. Apparently this made me the bad guy.
Fast forward to this year and DH says FIL will have to come to ours for breakfast. I’ve said no again. I’m fed up bending over backwards for a man who barely says hello to me. I’m a grown adult and I don’t think it’s outrageous to decide who’s in my house on Christmas morning. One year we had his new girlfriend (of one week) round and we never saw her again. This is the type of crap we have to deal with.
FIL has fallen out with DH’s brother, has again refused my mum’s invite so DH is now planning to take the kids to FIL’s house for a couple of hours on Christmas morning to keep the peace.
I’m sad because that was our time. Jammies, bucks fizz, kids playing with presents etc. Instead, I’m wondering AIBU to stay at home while DH and kids go to FIL’s? I need to make dessert anyway and could shower, get ready and enjoy a glass of bubbles in peace. Alternative is sitting in awkward silence in a house that smells strongly of wet dog.
Do I:
A) stay home and protect my sanity
B) suck it up for two hours
C) fake a sudden festive illness
Be gentle. Or not. I’m ready. 🎄