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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be disappointed in partners Christmas presents ?

208 replies

lulu55xxx · 19/12/2025 17:38

So this year we decided instead of just buying random stuff that we might not like to write a list with about £200 budget of things we wanted.
So I wrote my list and wrote down things I wanted for a while and he wrote his.
I bought everything on his list with a little extra present (a month ago )
He went for his Christmas shopping today and just rang me telling me he’s done but didn’t get anything off my list as a lot of the things weren’t in stock in town (tiny town centre ) hence me going further afield and ordering online.
So he said he “winged” it
Would you be disappointed?
Last year he winged it and I ended up with nivea gift sets (which I don’t use ) half price pjs from Primark and other random bits.
The nice perfume I asked for I never got because he said “ it’s out of stock everywhere “
I went in boots Boxing Day and it was there …
I don’t know it’s just pointless

He promised me a shopping spree after Xmas for my birthday the other day ,now he’s skint.

OP posts:
ForLoveNotMoney · 19/12/2025 18:15

Stuff that for a game! Send him links to everything immediately and if he huffs or kicks up a fuss then 100% return all his gifts and give him socks!

coconutchocolatecream · 19/12/2025 18:15

At that point, I'd suggest stopping the gift exchange. You each just take X amount to spend on yourselves. Rather than shopping for him, shop for yourself! I'm not a great gift shopper, personally, but I'd feel so guilty if DH had a wish list and I didn't bother to use it, knowing that he was always generous and careful to buy me exactly what I wanted.

SwedishEdith · 19/12/2025 18:13

Is he trying to trick you and he has bought your requests? I wouldn't tell anyone what I've bought even if they give me a list. It's wait and see until Christmas Day. Maybe that's what he's doing here.

Vaxtable · 19/12/2025 18:08

I would be honest and say he disappointed last year when he winged it hence the list. I would tell him to take everything backand get ordering on line tonight

crazeekat · 19/12/2025 18:06

He’s a dick. Ur not important enough.

Countduckula52 · 19/12/2025 18:05

Honestly, I would hold his presents back. Probably dump him too.

ginasevern · 19/12/2025 18:04

DappledThings · 19/12/2025 17:48

It just highlights the pointlessness of it. Does buying stuff off a list to a set budget really bring any Christmas joy? What's the point? You're both spending the same amount of money and you know what you are unwrapping. May as well just spend £200 on yourself.

Yep. What a waste of money and energy.

Shoxfordian · 19/12/2025 18:04

He sounds useless, how hard is it really to work out what you might like and buy it?

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 19/12/2025 18:02

I’d be tempted to return all his and buy the things off my list and wrap them instead

BettysRoasties · 19/12/2025 18:00

Yeah I’d be mad disappointed and feel let down and like an afterthought.

His left it late and couldn’t find the things. I mean has he even bothered checking Amazon lots of stuff is still next day.

Is he always so thoughtless towards you in general ? Because if he is this would definitely be the straw that broke it.

Id also be tempted to return some of his stuff and by petrol station shit.

FrightfulNightfull · 19/12/2025 17:58

I detest this type of behaviour- why does he bother at all if this is how it ends up every time. Will he even be ashamed?

Next year £50 and get yourself what you’d have liked him to have bought.

PinkFrogss · 19/12/2025 17:57

YANBU.

Whose idea was the £200 budget?

Wishimaywishimight · 19/12/2025 17:54

"Out of stock everywhere" = I couldn't be arsed to look or ask!

Christmaseree · 19/12/2025 17:53

DappledThings · 19/12/2025 17:48

It just highlights the pointlessness of it. Does buying stuff off a list to a set budget really bring any Christmas joy? What's the point? You're both spending the same amount of money and you know what you are unwrapping. May as well just spend £200 on yourself.

My DH and I have an approximate budget and a list of ideas and it works well. I would never buy myself a £30 box of chocolates for example but I would put it on my list.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/12/2025 17:53

Take back what you've bought him and buy your own Christmas presents and then leave the lazy ungrateful shit.

CharlieEffie · 19/12/2025 17:53

Miranda65 · 19/12/2025 17:44

It's not Christmas for another 6 days, so until you actually open your presents you won't know.
I'm long-married and we would never be so mercenary as to write a list (or "agree a budget"). We just buy what the other person will like - it's not difficult and it's not transactional.

But as post says he clearly needs a list as otherwise he literally buys crap

Shinyandnew1 · 19/12/2025 17:52

I would reply saying

'I have bought everything off your list and you have bought nothing of mine? I don't want £200 worth of crap I don't want. How would you feel if I did that to you?'

Kingscallops · 19/12/2025 17:51

Put half of what you've bought him on Vinted.

Christmaseree · 19/12/2025 17:51

Would you consider returning some of the stuff you’ve bought him and using the money to buy yourself what you actually want?

5foot5 · 19/12/2025 17:51

Yes that is a pretty pathetic effort and, in your shoes, I would be tempted, on the day, to comment that you did get everything off his list. Obviously most of them were not available in town but fortunately you had enough time to order them online.

If he has left his shopping until this late am I right in guessing that the only person he is buying for is you and you have had to shoulder all the work for buying for everyone else in the family?

PrioritisePleasure24 · 19/12/2025 17:50

For the first time ever i wrote a things down for my partner of nearly 15 years. Just things i want that i never get around to buying myself.
I know he will get them. He didn’t give me a list.

Why do people leave it last minute when given a list weeks ago!? We also have the vastness of online shopping.

I’d be annoyed two years in a row when you’ve made sure he has gotten what he wants. I’d be tempted to get petty and take his back tbh

Branleuse · 19/12/2025 17:49

I'd tell him that of course a lot of it will be out of stock if he left it this late, hence why you sorted yours a month ago.

Tell him that if it's going to be as shit and thoughtless as last year then let's not bother, he should return them, you'll return the stuff you got him, and we should consider it lesson learned, because you're fed up of being an afterthought after you put everyone else first for so long

DappledThings · 19/12/2025 17:48

It just highlights the pointlessness of it. Does buying stuff off a list to a set budget really bring any Christmas joy? What's the point? You're both spending the same amount of money and you know what you are unwrapping. May as well just spend £200 on yourself.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/12/2025 17:46

I'd tell him to take them back

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 19/12/2025 17:45

Does he know how to use Amazon? If not why not buy him a basic computer course, the sort of thing you buy a 80 year old. Might make a point.

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