To be disappointed in partners Christmas presents ?

Swap his presents for Nivea 3 for 2 sets and Primark pyjamas and pocket the change.

And honestly if he reacts poorly when you give him the same treatment as he’s given you that tells you everything.

He is perfectly aware of how hurtful and disappointing it is for you , but just doesn’t care as long as he’s getting what he wants.

This 😂

Seriously though I think you have a bigger problem than just Christmas because this seems to be pattern and it’s telling you he disrespects you and is displaying a level selfishness and deceit too. He reels you into get he wants then he reneges on your agreement. A man who truly loves you will care about these “little things” if he knows it makes you happy.

What is he like in your relationship outside of gift giving?

He just doesn't care enough about you to make an effort. Return what you bought for him, buy your own presents.

Yep I'd be disappointed too. Had similar
Situ in the past and he tried make out I'm being ungrateful. What's the point if one puts all the effort in and the other simply cannot be bothered.
As petty as it sounds you could take half of the stuff back and say the same .'out of stock/couldn't get all of yours either'.

Take his stuff back. Buy a load of useless shite.. It's the only way he'll click what a knob he is. And if he doesn't then ltb.
Or accept this forever..

Most men just aren't well trained in the art of preparing for occasions and gift giving

This is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever read. Men know when Christmas is, they know when their own birthday is - if they don't bother it's because they don't give a shit. They don't need to be 'trained' in buying something from a list they've been given.

And let's be real, I just don't believe that there isn't one thing on OP's list that cannot be sourced from Amazon and be delivered in time. He just doesn't care.

Yes I'd be very upset.

Christmas isn't a surprise. He's done the absolute bare minimum while you've gone above and beyond. I'd honestly only be giving him one of the gifts and seriously considering if I wanted to continue in the relationship. Men like him don't change, as is evidenced by the fact that he didn't get you anything for your birthday either.

What it boils down to is that he cares more about spending his money on himself that getting you a gift you actually might like.

Argh... Men at Xmas! Just been chatting to a few guys at work today and they're all like 'I'm going to spend the weekend at 'enter local shopping centre' getting a few bits'. I bet you that's their partner's Xmas presents.

I just feel like many men don't plan ahead for Christmas (or other similar occasions) and just think they can make things happen last minute.

My ex... I told him very clearly what I would like, all very affordable yet lovely items I genuinely needed, feasible on next day devlivery even... He would ignore my list and get something drop shipped from China, not completely awful but cheap and tacky and not something I needed. All the bloody time! The guy lived with me for 10 years, he should have known that I would choose even my toothbrush and cofffee cup with great care.

I'm currently seeing someone... He asked me yesterday how I feel about doing Xmas presents!! But equally, I've known him to go to a birthday party or wedding on a Saturday night, and be asking me what I think would make a good present Saturday lunchtime!

My boss... Is supposed to buy birthday presents to people in his team, he obviously knows a year in advance when said birthday is... He panics and contacts everyone a couple of days before to ask for money and ideas, and buys something the day before the birthday.

Most men just aren't well trained in the art of preparing for occassions and gift giving.

So no advice as such, except that there will likely be many women on your position this holiday season, hope it's somewhat comforting...

You're not the lady who went to London and was let down badly by your fella with hotel and meal out are you?

If you are, are you truly shocked by this behaviour? He's telling you what you're worth, sadly and disappointingly. Maybe lower expectations to rock bottom or, well, get rid! Sorry OP, brace yourself for more primark PJ's.

It’s not too late. Just tell him to return the gifts, make sure to return his and buy your own list. It’s not as if they’re surprises anyway. you literally may as well buy them yourself!

Well he’s got form and OP said in her post that he’s already told her that yet again he’s not been able to get anything(!) from her list and so she does know.

Also, not every partner knows what the other would like and it’s not a bad thing to be proactive and just tell them. As PP said, it’s nice to put random things you may have seen throughout the year which are too pricey for you to feel you can buy for yourself so a good way is to just have your partner buy it you for Xmas like an expensive box of chocs and you do the same for them - no guilt either then!

There's nothing wrong with making a list or setting a budget, this way ppl get the stuff they like and want and its not a waste of someone's money. Theres nothing wrong with your way either. Both is fine if ppl are happy. Op isnt happy because DP hasnt stuck to the list hence she might be stuck with tat.

I would be disappointed in your shoes yes.
But I think making such an agreement with someone who is either reluctant to spend money on gifts or spend time shopping was a mistake.

In our house I am a big shopper who enjoys it and has the time to choose things (part-time worker). My DH works long hours, is not really into gifts or shopping in general. It is much easier for me to buy him stuff as I know what he needs/could do with an upgrade etc. For him its impossible as I nearly always buy what I want throughout the year so it is harder for him - and I am not that keen on surprises such as random jewelry etc.

I send a couple of basic ideas and ask him for some, but beyond that he will put some thought into getting a couple of other items and so will I. But neither is expecting big money to be spent wowing the other. Very few people are amazing gift buyers imo.

Next year just spend $50-100 on him and save the rest of the money to buy yourself what you want :)

I am concerned I will be disappointed. My husband and I chose a present each at a market back in November and he bought a book that I said i liked the look of today in the supermarket. I bought him a few other things online but I don't think he has got me anything else, no parcels came addressed to him and I would know cos I am permanently at home unless he went out before or after work but I don't recall him leaving early or being home late. I know I seem materialistic but I try so hard to find things for him and I like surprises.

So he’s got a default excuse to get out of spending the cash “Oh it was out of stock everywhere”. What an arsehole. Take everything you bought him, back and buy him a lynx set and tell him everything was out of stock everywhere

Honestly, he’s just not that into you. Take his stuff back. Buy yourself something you want with the money and get him bargain buys like lynx and jammies. See how he likes it. Then bin him. My husband told me he’s been listening all year to things Ive said I’d like in one way or another. Obviously I was not making any list or asking for things. He said my main gift is from something I was talking about in February!

This.

Get rid. If he can’t be bothered now he will never be.

We set a rough budget and I’d really rather not do a list but despite DH having the best intentions and really wanting to get it right he never quite seems to hit the mark with surprises. I try to be quite broad rather than specific as I like a little mystery at least, this year I’d like some new pyjamas so I’ve sent him 3 or 4 links to styles I like, each of which come in 5 or 6 designs. His choice from there. I did ask for a specific necklace because when I googled roughly what I was looking for (our DS’s initial) there were some horrors so I daren't let him lose with just ‘X’s initial on a necklace’. Those will take up roughly 75% of the budget and the rest is for him to choose something.

In return I’ve got him 1 thing he directly asked for, 1 thing I know he definitely wants and a few wildcards.

And tell him to take all the crap back so you can use the refund money to buy what you want and asked for. Selfish bastard

Don’t bother in future just buy what you want and he do same 🤷🏻‍♀️

This

Sounds like your Christmas present list is low on his priorities.
i agree with PPs get refunds on the stuff you have bought for him and treat yourself instead.

Tell him that you hope he has kept the receipts, as he'll have a very long day tomorrow returning all the crap gift he "winged it" with.
In the mean time, tonight he can sit with you and his credit card, and order exactly what you told him you wanted via this really cool thing called THE INTERNET.

If he won't, I hope you kept the receipts/can return all the shit he wanted...

Sometimes it's just best to cut your losses and chuck them back into the pool...sorry.

🎁