To be disappointed in partners Christmas presents ?

OP, I really hope you update this thread after Xmas to say what he did give you and whether or not you gave him all the presents you had bought.

Well, you don't actually HAVE to do any of these things, you could just stop.

The holidays sort of fair enough as that impacts you but his clothes to go out?! Nah - he can't manage that then ah well, he doesn't get to go out does he?

Such a man baby, not sure how you can find him attractive tbh

Are you the one @lulu55xxx where you promised to do trips away for your 40th and you took him to an all expenses luxury resort in Greece and you go a weekend in Manchester at a cheap hotel with the pro isle of a shopping spree that never materialised as he was skint?

Even if not he’s a bit shit and is showing you how important you are to him, only you can decide if you think that’s good enough and all you deserve. ( but I don’t think so).

Return his and use the money for your perfume. Wing him some lynx and slippers

It bring me immense joy as I look forward to getting all the nice things I put on my list!

Better than money being wasted on potentially unwanted stuff

Next year why don't you both write your lists and then buy for yourselves? I bet he'll be more motivated to do the leg work when it's his gifts at stake. And you can be guaranteed that you will get what you want too.

Actually it is transactional. It shows a lack of planning and lack of care and that he cant be bothered and may well reflect deeper issues within the relationship . . .

OP, come on. Respect yourself more. Because otherwise he definitely won't. You can do better than him.

This

he sounds like a big baby.

I personally don't mind a bit of division of labour ie. Ill sort gifts if my partner is good at othr stuff - is that the case here?

I actually don't understand adults spending money on each other in this completely transactional way.

If you want stuff, can't you just buy it yourself? Rather than each spend a set amount on specific things

I'd be absolutely furious about shit pajamas and cheap chocolates if we had a clear arrarngement - and im not even into gifts.

I honestly think you would be better off forgetting the gift exchange and just agreeing to buy your own stuff - it sounds like he is a user, happy to get lovely thoughtful gifts from you.

I would consider this a very alarming personality trait! and would look at why I was in the relationship generally

You do this wasters shopping for him?
He's neither regard nor respect for you, and you don't have it for yourself that you would accept another year of it.
Return ALL his gifts and get him a Lynx set and dump him.
Unbelievable that you would tolerate this and bd such a losers skivvy.

That poster dumped her cheapskate. There are just a lot of shit men around.

Would hate that. Going forward match his energy op small gifts. I buy my own stuff my husband is last minute!! I buy my perfume in november. They out stock in dec

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you always get.

Time for a replacement partner - this one has regressed (with your help) back to child status. ICK.

Some men people are rubbish at gifts, and they won't ever get better. You are better off agreeing to do something together as a treat

OH and I stopped buying Christmas gifts for each other years ago...I much prefer spending the money on doing stuff together.

I’d be returning a bunch of his gifts. Say you had put in more effort but felt the energy put in should be matched along with the budget.

Ha so he's got you to get what he wanted, but as per usual he so useless he can't sort 1 thing from your list.

Don't do presents for each other.
Buy the things you want for yourself.
He won't change if this has happened a few times.
Match his effort.

Read this out load to yourself and then ask yourself why you’re being such a mug.

Wow what an absolute arse he is I don’t think he ever had any intentions of buying you anything from your list tbh so next year you tell him your not bothering to do gifts you keep the £200 you would normally spend on him and you go out and treat yourself or get rid of him lol
As for this year when you do receive the crap he’s clearly bought you ask him for the receipts so you can return them.

Tell him to make sure he keeps all the receipts in a safe place so that he can take it all back after Christmas and you can then use the money to buy what you really wanted FROM THE LIST!!!!

I wouldn't be too thrilled with this either. If the budget was smaller then fine, but "winging it" on 21st December with a £200 budget is annoying. Couldn't he just have got you a voucher for the shop you wanted the items from if he couldn't be bothered to buy in advance?

OK, having read the updates I can see OP has just accepted this rather sad state of affairs and is enabling him.

He is taking the piss and acting incompetent yes, but you are enabling him @lulu55xxxx
Why? Do you feel insecure and want to make yourself seem useful to him somehow? I think as hard as it may seem you need to examine your role in this and your motivations for enabling this.

If he was single and living by himself he would have to either face the consequences of not giving loved ones gifts and not being able to get ready a work nights out,
not organising holidays etc or…most likely he would actually do these things himself.

I had assumed it was a fairly new relationship only to hear you’ve been with this man for 6 years. Call me cynical but I have a strong suspicion any advice we give here will fall on deaf ears and you’ve just come here for a vent (which you’re perfectly entitled to do)but nothing will change which is quite sad but it’s your choice.

Go through the items you’ve bought for him, with him. Ask him to choose which items to return so that you can spend that money on yourself.

Next time get an app that allows you to build wish lists. I think you can even link to where to buy and share that with him. All he’ll have to do is click and pay.

Honestly more fool you for choosing this.