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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

858 replies

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
anxiousturkey · 19/12/2025 18:11

It would bother me too. But also very flattering! But just incredibly awkward!! 😬

fantastiq · 19/12/2025 18:10

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Its extremely creepy and I'm not sure you would be able to get past it. This person is in your home when your not there. She has complete access to all your personal belongings. If I were you I would be making my excuses and letting her go. I wouldn't bother confronting her.

IhadaStripeyDeckchair · 19/12/2025 18:09

I wouldn't be gentle, I'd be demanding she took down all the pictures & firing her for that.

It's an outrageous breach of your privacy and you should be angry.

Wintersgirl · 19/12/2025 18:09

Who cares if she's "sensitive"? Tough shit, she's totally crossed the line and I'd be letting her know, I wouldn't give a fuck if it upset her, she started this....

whatcanthematterbe81 · 19/12/2025 18:09

I can see why you’re annoyed. I think I would be more amused than annoyed but I don’t know as it’s not me in the situation. Very strange and sad really

themerchentofvenus · 19/12/2025 18:08

@DeadlyDead this is super creepy!!

If the post was saying that these were the beautiful decorations for a house she cleans at then I wouldn't mind so much but passing the house off as her own is totally creepy, and the comments on where she got the decorations is even creepier.

I wouldn't trust someone who did this and it would make me wonder what else they have been doing.

I would screen shot everything then comment on the post saying "wow <cleaner name> your house and decorations look exactly like mine. The candle stick was sold by Next in 2019".

Moveoverdarlin · 19/12/2025 18:07

Clefable · 19/12/2025 17:34

That’s bonkers! That said, I really value a good cleaner so I might just stay quiet. I feel a bit sorry for her actually, perhaps her circumstances aren’t good this year and she is trying to live another life in a way even just for some social media likes.

She’s not a good cleaner!! She’s taking pictures of her clients home and then uploading it to the Internet and passing it off as her own home. She’s a fraud.

A good cleaner would say to OP ‘Your house and decorations are looking fabulous at the moment, would you mind if I took some pictures and uploaded them to my own Facebook page and said something like ‘Just one of the fabulous, festive homes I have cleaned this December and sprinkled my Christmas magic! For cleaning enquiries call me!

Now she’s shot herself in the foot because she just looks deranged. She’s a liar.

Even if she cleans well, I wouldn’t trust her again. How thick must she be to think OP or one of her friends or family wouldn’t see the photos??

BernadetteJune · 19/12/2025 18:07

It's a breach of trust. You need to have a word.

Widgets · 19/12/2025 18:06

Complete breach of trust, she has no respect for you or your home.
She has also shown herself as a liar. For me, this would definitely be a sackable offence.

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 18:05

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 18:02

I would just leave it personally. Shes clearly sad about not being able to have a lovely home like you do, made a bad judgment call, but theres no harm.

This is mad. Are you the cleaner?!

Hufflemuff · 19/12/2025 18:04

Sack her - but first do a thorough insta and facebook stalk - i reckon she regularly poses and takes photos of your (obviously beautiful) home to pass it off as hers. Therefore, she really shouldn't have keys to your home!

Driftingawaynow · 19/12/2025 18:04

She’s a nutter. Change your locks and tell her why you’re sacking her.

saraclara · 19/12/2025 18:04

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 18:02

I would just leave it personally. Shes clearly sad about not being able to have a lovely home like you do, made a bad judgment call, but theres no harm.

She's dishonest, and she doesn't respect OP 's privacy. You honestly think those things should be overlooked in someone who has access to someone's home, property and private belongings?

MysticHalfWitch · 19/12/2025 18:04

Ive voted YNBU because you absolutely aren’t, but I would find this absolutely hilarious if it happened to me. You’re quite within your rights to be pissed off though.

Mydadsbirthday · 19/12/2025 18:04

OP you don’t owe this person anything and it’s not your fault if their circumstances are difficult.

I would NOT post on her post or let her know you’ve seen it. She has your keys and alarm code for goodness sake.

you need to get rid as this is a massive breach of privacy and weird as fuck even if there is no malicious intent.

you need to find a way of letting her know you no longer require her services and get your key back ideally before. And change your alarm code.

TorroFerney · 19/12/2025 18:03

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:53

See, I think this is what’s stopping me going absolutely nuts at her. Without sounding like a complete knob, our situations really are very different. I do have a lovely house and get a lot of compliments on it. It’s large and probably quite “Instagrammable”. Plus my decor is quite cool. I could see why someone who not in the best position would want people to think they have something really lovely.

(I appreciate I do sound like a complete knob).

Show quote history

Guilt that you are better off than her. I do know what you mean but if we extrapolate that out then where would we be? Prison tariff for theft of a Rolex - well if you could have saved and afforded one then you get the book thrown at you. if you'd never in a million years be able to afford one - slap on the wrist and sympathy? I am exaggerating of course and not suggesting that what she has done is like theft but people get away with a hell of a lot beacuse people feel sorry for them or guilt about what they have.

You may be better employing a cleaning company and always being out when the cleaner comes.

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 19/12/2025 18:03

A bit creepy - only you can decide if her envy about your home, which she clearly wants to pass off as hers, will stop at social media posts.

Is there any chance, if you're not around, and she has keys, it might go further and she'd invite people around?

I'd ask for keys back, making up an excuse that you didn't have time to get them copied and need to give them to someone else, and just make sure you're there when she's there of you really don't want to sack her.

Peonyperfection · 19/12/2025 18:03

I think it’s odd and funny, but I would have to say something. It’s an invasion of privacy and if they can’t be trusted they have to go. What if she shared photos of ‘personal’ items!

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 18:02

I would just leave it personally. Shes clearly sad about not being able to have a lovely home like you do, made a bad judgment call, but theres no harm.

HippopotamusForChristmas · 19/12/2025 18:02

It's the deceit that would bother me even more than the breach of privacy

EmbroideredGardener · 19/12/2025 18:02

This is the start of a thriller stalker film...

BettysRoasties · 19/12/2025 18:02

Thing is she can admire the decs. Even if you are not too fussed about the photos she could have just shared them. But she’s claiming it’s her home that she’s put the effort and money into. That’s a step too far even for a forgiving person.

Daygloboo · 19/12/2025 18:02

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

It's a bit creepy. If I were you, I'd say nothing in case you upset her, then in a couple of months tell her you are having to cut back and will have to let her go. Then get another cleaner. She could be a bit unhinged . It's quite a weird thing to do.

BennyHenny · 19/12/2025 18:01

I’d screeenshot the post, send it to her and tell her to remove it ASAP and return your keys. I’d probably also change the locks, that’s absolutely bonkers behaviour.

GreyBeeplus3 · 19/12/2025 18:00

I agree