Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

858 replies

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
LokiDoki75 · 19/12/2025 19:52

I would message the group admins and tell them what she’s done and ask them to take the pictures down. She might realise that you’ve seen them, but she can’t really complain!

Allmarbleslost · 19/12/2025 19:50

I'm a very private person and would be livid about this. She would never clean for me again.

GAJLY · 19/12/2025 19:50

I'd screen shot it then inbox her asking her to, remove photos of my home. I'd tell her she is not to take photos of my home and post them on social media.

Wellretired · 19/12/2025 19:49

If ask her. "I saw this post (showing phone) isnt this my house? What happened? " and take it from there depending on the response. She's your employee and a good boss picks things up quickly so they dont grow into a big problem but get resolved instead.

Original poster
DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 19:48

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 19:42

I really feel for her.

Show quote history

Can I ask why?

OP posts:
BreatheAndFocus · 19/12/2025 19:47

She sounds like she’s a bit resentful of you and your situation, frankly. Her comments about the tiles and the coffee cup are a bit off. Either she wanted to get back at you by posting your h decorations in a FB group she knew you might see, or she didn’t think you’d see it and did it not because she admires you but because she’s jealous.

I’d ask her to remove the photos; terminate her contract with you - and change your locks and alarm codes. This isn’t someone who likes you.

ClairDeLaLune · 19/12/2025 19:47

Make up a fake profile, make friends with the fake profile, then post under that profile “That’s my friend’s house not yours” and see what she does.

Imdunfer · 19/12/2025 19:46

I couldn't have her back in my house I'm afraid, even if it turned into a tip.

That's a horrendous beach of trust.

Picklelily99 · 19/12/2025 19:46

I'd probably want to 'out' her, by taking similar photos myself and posting them on the same group. I get that she obviously loves your deccies, but 2nd hand compliments don't mean a thing!

Muddlethroughmam · 19/12/2025 19:45

Cleaner here.

  1. I don't take photos of peoples homes without their written permission
  2. That's bloody weird.
MissAmbrosia · 19/12/2025 19:43

Just sack her. If this is really how it happened it is unforgiveable.

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 19:43

Catwalking · 19/12/2025 19:41

I love this idea! 😊😊😊

Show quote history

Happy Christmas to you too.

Joeydoesntsharefood25 · 19/12/2025 19:43

While on the face of it this is flattering and fairly harmless its what it implies that would bother me. She is dishonest. I wouldn't want a dishonest person working in my home. What else has she been dishonest about?

Christmaseree · 19/12/2025 19:42

I couldn’t trust her again, I’d worry about her having people over if I was on holiday etc.

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 19:42

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 19:36

She can be a bit snitty. I have high shine cream porcelain tiles in my hallway. They’re a bugger to clean. Any drop of water leaves a mark. I asked her before to go back over them with once she’s mopped to dry them (using a fluffy long handled buffer thingy I have- don’t know what they’re called but they’re like a mop with a microfiber attachment at the end) and she was clearly unimpressed. Told me she’s cleaned hundreds of floors and the problem is my tiles, and not how she cleans them and she’s never had anyone complain before. I told her it absolutely is the tiles and they need to be dried because the water marks dry in, regardless of who cleans them.

Another time, I asked her to please put her coffee cup into the dishwasher when she was finished (if I’m not home I’ve told her to help herself to the coffee machine- I genuinely don’t mind). It was just annoying to come home after paying for a clean and finding an upturned cup on the side of the sink. I accept that’s a little irritant but I said it nicely, and her response was to tell me it was fine and she’d bring her own coffee in a travel cup instead. I told her that wasn’t what I meant but if she preferred to bring her own coffee that was fine, then she backed down and now the cups go in the dishwasher.

Show quote history

I really feel for her.

Catwalking · 19/12/2025 19:41

huuskymam · 19/12/2025 19:33

I'd comment on the post why shes putting up photos of your home without your permission and claiming it's her. Then I'd message her privately and tell her her services and no longer required.

I love this idea! 😊😊😊

Coldiron · 19/12/2025 19:40

All cleaners go bad eventually

Gardener82 · 19/12/2025 19:37

I’d comment on the post, something like… Please take the photos of my home of social media please. We can discuss this when I see you next.

MrsVBS · 19/12/2025 19:36

I’d be furious, if she can do this I wouldn’t trust her with any aspect of my house. She sounds unhinged.

Original poster
DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 19:36

Mropalsmusic · 19/12/2025 19:27

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

@DeadlyDead would you mind elaborating on this? In what way is she sensitive?

Edited

She can be a bit snitty. I have high shine cream porcelain tiles in my hallway. They’re a bugger to clean. Any drop of water leaves a mark. I asked her before to go back over them with once she’s mopped to dry them (using a fluffy long handled buffer thingy I have- don’t know what they’re called but they’re like a mop with a microfiber attachment at the end) and she was clearly unimpressed. Told me she’s cleaned hundreds of floors and the problem is my tiles, and not how she cleans them and she’s never had anyone complain before. I told her it absolutely is the tiles and they need to be dried because the water marks dry in, regardless of who cleans them.

Another time, I asked her to please put her coffee cup into the dishwasher when she was finished (if I’m not home I’ve told her to help herself to the coffee machine- I genuinely don’t mind). It was just annoying to come home after paying for a clean and finding an upturned cup on the side of the sink. I accept that’s a little irritant but I said it nicely, and her response was to tell me it was fine and she’d bring her own coffee in a travel cup instead. I told her that wasn’t what I meant but if she preferred to bring her own coffee that was fine, then she backed down and now the cups go in the dishwasher.

OP posts:
huuskymam · 19/12/2025 19:33

I'd comment on the post why shes putting up photos of your home without your permission and claiming it's her. Then I'd message her privately and tell her her services and no longer required.

WallaceinAnderland · 19/12/2025 19:31

Have you looked to see if she's posted anything else about your house in the past?

Ukefluke · 19/12/2025 19:29

I think its a bit sad really. Its probably something she can never aspire to having. I would let it go.
Its not a security risk. It doesnt have your address and it has so ebody elses name to it

SatsumaDog · 19/12/2025 19:28

She’s doing what millions of people do every day when they post on social media. Pretending she’s something she’s not. She wants attention and compliments and this was an easy way to do it. I don’t think it’s stalkerish in terms of she’d do anything to you, but I do think she has low self esteem and is likely very unhappy in her life. Doing this kind of thing is escapism from that. I wouldn’t mention it at all and just keep an eye on things moving forward.

seaelephant · 19/12/2025 19:28

If she posted pictures of my home without permission saying 'look at my friend's lovely home!' I'd maybe be a bit peeved but let it go

it's the fact that she's lying that its her own that would really bother me, I don't think I could accept that

Swipe left for the next trending thread