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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

858 replies

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
liamharha · 19/12/2025 20:58

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 18:41

I feel a bit sorry for the cleaner as she obviously has low self esteem to pretend as she is.
Id take it as a compliment OP and wouldn’t humiliate her by bringing it up with her. You don’t want to lose a good cleaner after all.

Show quote history

I do too but I think would feel uncomfortable having her in my home .
I'd get rid of her but I'd do it with honesty and dignity cos let's be honest she's going to be mortified when she finds out op knows .
I think that's punishment enough ,,even though some on hers want her walked through the city naked cersai lannister style🙄.

neveragainonebay · 19/12/2025 20:57

It's a really weird thing to do. I'd feel sorry for her above anything else. Maybe she's having a hard time and fantasising about living your life with your decs is her escapism? If you think about it, it's very sad.

That said, what will she fantasise herself doing next? Wearing your clothes? Jewellery? This is a possibility and she may actually be mentally unwell.

I wouldn't embarrass her by mentioning the FB posts. No need. Nor would I see a need to sack her before Xmas. Just let her go in the New Year. Tell her you can't afford a cleaner any more, very sorry, etc etc.

Jorge14 · 19/12/2025 20:57

I do think this is really creepy and I wouldn’t like it. I’d ask her to take the post down, my initial thought was that I would ask her to leave but I think as long as she took the post down & agreed that she doesn’t take photos of your home, I would give her a chance out of kindness. Given that she doesn’t react well she may choose to leave anyway. You really should call her out on it though.

Americano75 · 19/12/2025 20:54

MrsDoomesPattersen · 19/12/2025 17:34

Have you seen the film single
white female?

Beat me to it!

StickyFiggyPudding · 19/12/2025 20:51

A local FB group, does she know you are in it? Very strange (and bold) to post that but especially if she knows you might see it?
Can't get my head around this at all.
Would not be able to move past this. Takes a certain kind of character to do something like this. Dishonest and fraudulent. Would definitely be looking for another cleaner, but I'd have to let her know I'd seen it and see her response.

Salome61 · 19/12/2025 20:45

This does remind me of a film scenario, was it Parasite?

MyChristmasCheerHasBuggeredOff · 19/12/2025 20:39

I would comment something like

"Oh how lovely your house is Sally, see you Wednesday at mine"

IDidBegin · 19/12/2025 20:37

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 19:24

Post picture from FB of my home that I didn’t want posted on FB? 🤔

Show quote history

No, I meant a picture of her comment not the pictures. Is it possible you are being pranked. It’s so ludicrous plus the fact it’s happening on a Friday night which it typical prank time?

also, why are you actually doing anything other than posting on here.

liamharha · 19/12/2025 20:37

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

The mind boggles imagine what she shows with your undies drawer 😩🙈

TheBerry · 19/12/2025 20:36

Honestly I think you’re under reacting. I wouldn’t be angry, exactly, but I’d think it was weird as fuck and I’d probably sack her.

Therealjudgejudy · 19/12/2025 20:33

This would really freak me out op!!

liamharha · 19/12/2025 20:29

I think it's a bit creepy op but is it creepy enough to get rid of a good cleaner
I'd of been flattered had she said these are lovely cam I post a photo to group I'm.im etc but passing them as hers gives me creeps

Forthwith81 · 19/12/2025 20:27

I thought you were going to say she stole your Xmas decorations. But then I remembered that’s something that only a MIL would do on MN.

TwoTuesday · 19/12/2025 20:27

Why are people so odd about cleaners on here? This behaviour is totally out of order, very weird and it is sufficiently bad to sack her.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 19/12/2025 20:26

Wow. Long time cleaner here... I only take pics of any dpets with the owners permission.. And never include any bits of the house...

ChampagneLassie · 19/12/2025 20:25

I think she’s proven she’s not trustworthy though, with this completely unnecessary lies! I’d message her and ask her to delete this post. I wouldn’t want her back myself.

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 20:23

Devonshiregal · 19/12/2025 20:21

Yes this. She might have been doing this a while - how do you know it is the first time? Have you fake account added her on Facebook to find out?

And she’s not just sitting there getting compliments thinking ooh I shouldn’t have done that, she’s actively lying to people and absorbing the compliments.

Of course it’s sad, but so are all future stalkers. If it was a man you’d be like no way. And honestly, it is sad her life is tough, but not your responsibility to fix. You aren’t the queen, you don’t serve her or owe her anything because you think your life is better than hers. Anyway, she could love her life but just be crazy for all you know.

She could move in while you’re away like in the movies. Or pin a crime on you. Or steal from you. Or single white female you as others have said. I’d go heavy - treat like a stalker. Scare her so she goes away for good.

Show quote history

Ridiculous overreaction

Devonshiregal · 19/12/2025 20:21

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 19/12/2025 19:56

Your kindness is being seen as weakness OP. I think this could be the start of an envy that could turn into jealousy and if that happens things could start to go walkies. Personally I would be having a conversation with her about the photos and dependant on how that went deciding whether we could continue as employer/employee. .

Yes this. She might have been doing this a while - how do you know it is the first time? Have you fake account added her on Facebook to find out?

And she’s not just sitting there getting compliments thinking ooh I shouldn’t have done that, she’s actively lying to people and absorbing the compliments.

Of course it’s sad, but so are all future stalkers. If it was a man you’d be like no way. And honestly, it is sad her life is tough, but not your responsibility to fix. You aren’t the queen, you don’t serve her or owe her anything because you think your life is better than hers. Anyway, she could love her life but just be crazy for all you know.

She could move in while you’re away like in the movies. Or pin a crime on you. Or steal from you. Or single white female you as others have said. I’d go heavy - treat like a stalker. Scare her so she goes away for good.

Pricelessadvice · 19/12/2025 20:21

The fact that she thinks it’s ok to post pictures of the inside of the house of one of her clients says that she doesn’t have any respect for their privacy.
That’s a massive breach of trust.

Claiming it’s her own home is just weird.

LBFseBrom · 19/12/2025 20:19

Clefable · 19/12/2025 17:34

That’s bonkers! That said, I really value a good cleaner so I might just stay quiet. I feel a bit sorry for her actually, perhaps her circumstances aren’t good this year and she is trying to live another life in a way even just for some social media likes.

I agree and it will soon be forgotten. People are posting their Christmas decor all over facebook, it's a five minute wonder.

Salome61 · 19/12/2025 20:18

And I wouldn't give her a written reference - she could give my number for a verbal, but I would be telling future employers about this.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/12/2025 20:18

That’s really going over the line

taking pics of your home

posting them on internet

saying it’s her home

Salome61 · 19/12/2025 20:17

I would write on the Facebook post and say please delete immediately, I did not give you permission to show the world my Christmas decorations.

Unfortunately this would be a big breach of my privacy and I'd have to let her go as she has made a very bad choice, good cleaner or not.

I would take the keys from her and change the locks, unfortunately I would not trust anything she said and wouldn't be surprised if she'd had a copy made.

Mumofoneandone · 19/12/2025 20:16

Massive invasion of privacy.
I'd be privately messaging her to request she removes the photos within a set time period.
If she doesn't I would publically 'shame' her.
I'd be asking for all keys to be returned and change your code.
Seek a new cleaner. She sounds a pain.

Dita73 · 19/12/2025 20:15

Sorry but it’s weird. Put “we need to have a chat” on the post. I bet it’s deleted fairly quickly