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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

858 replies

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
katepilar · 19/12/2025 22:58

I would be massively annoyed, immediately telling her to delete the photos and now employing her anymore.

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:57

Astra53 · 19/12/2025 22:55

My previous cleaner took pictures for her Instagram business profile. She always asked and then 'dressed' the room. My property was not identifiable from the photos and she very clearly had my permission.

That'd be fine, she asked permission, I'd be ok with that. Providing I got to approve the pics first!

Zov · 19/12/2025 22:55

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:54

Ah, the cleaner has arrived.

Yes! 😂

Mropalsmusic · 19/12/2025 22:55

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:54

Ah, the cleaner has arrived.

I was seriously wondering this 😂

Astra53 · 19/12/2025 22:55

My previous cleaner took pictures for her Instagram business profile. She always asked and then 'dressed' the room. My property was not identifiable from the photos and she very clearly had my permission.

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:54

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 22:53

Why would you name and shame?

Ah, the cleaner has arrived.

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 22:53

Chiefangel · 19/12/2025 22:41

Don’t feel sorry for your cleaner. She is pretending that your house is her home. Your house is now on the internet forever.
Let her know that you know what she has done. Get the images removed and I would find a new cleaner.
I personally would name and shame but that is just me.

Why would you name and shame?

Strangequinoaconcoction · 19/12/2025 22:52

BlueIris111 · 19/12/2025 22:37

I wouldn’t stand for and would be concerned what else she could do. She doesn’t seem mentally well I would definitely cut it off and be grateful nothing more serious has happened. End it before it gets more serious this could be a stepping stone to something worse she’s clearly not right in the head

Thanks for the diagnosis Dr Freud.

Stompingupthemountain · 19/12/2025 22:51

Calliopespa · 19/12/2025 22:28

Totally agree.

Totally disagree. Commenting on the post that “it’s my house, not yours” is just stating fact. If she feels humiliated it’s her own fault for doing something so silly with a high chance of being found out

Loloblue · 19/12/2025 22:49

I think it's a bit sad that she can't show her own home. I'd feel sorry for her and let it go.

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:49

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 22:48

What relevance has being single or white got to do with anything?

Single white female is a film. About someone who mimics someone's life and takes it over. Look it up, it's very good. And terrifying.

Christmaseree · 19/12/2025 22:48

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 22:48

What relevance has being single or white got to do with anything?

It’s a reference to a film.

MossAndLeaves · 19/12/2025 22:48

Sturmundcalm · 19/12/2025 18:13

I wouldn't be bothered about the breach of privacy given that you can't be linked to the photos but the single white female-ness of it all would make me sack her... you happen to have seen these photos, what else has she been up to???

What relevance has being single or white got to do with anything?

MountainofWashing · 19/12/2025 22:47

I'm generally quite soft but I wouldn't stand for this. I'd screenshot the posts and get my keys back before raising it. Change the alarm codes too. I wouldn't comment directly on Facebook group as it might complicate matters further.

Hippobot · 19/12/2025 22:47

If you weren't worried about people knowing it's your house, you could ask a friend to comment on the photos and tag you in the comment, saying something like "@deadlydead isn't this your house? Someone is claiming it's theirs!"

Chiefangel · 19/12/2025 22:41

Don’t feel sorry for your cleaner. She is pretending that your house is her home. Your house is now on the internet forever.
Let her know that you know what she has done. Get the images removed and I would find a new cleaner.
I personally would name and shame but that is just me.

Calliopespa · 19/12/2025 22:40

WonderingWanda · 19/12/2025 22:38

That is such weird behaviour from her. It's basically cheating and basking in the compliments.....that she didn't really earn. How do people enjoy that? Are they so delusional they think they deserve the credit?

I was pondering that aspect too!

WonderingWanda · 19/12/2025 22:38

That is such weird behaviour from her. It's basically cheating and basking in the compliments.....that she didn't really earn. How do people enjoy that? Are they so delusional they think they deserve the credit?

Hippobot · 19/12/2025 22:37

Apart from the fact she sounds batshit crazy, this is incredibly unprofessional - to photograph a client's home without consent is a major breach of trust but to then post it in a public forum and claim it's hers is shocking. Personally, I wouldn't be remotely worried about upsetting her. She should be upset! What she's done is outrageous and I wouldn't want her in my house ever again. I would also be posting on there about what she did and giving her reviews online stating what she did so others know she cannot be trusted. Honestly, I think you are underreacting to this.

BlueIris111 · 19/12/2025 22:37

I wouldn’t stand for and would be concerned what else she could do. She doesn’t seem mentally well I would definitely cut it off and be grateful nothing more serious has happened. End it before it gets more serious this could be a stepping stone to something worse she’s clearly not right in the head

TheHillIsMine · 19/12/2025 22:37

It's always so funny how people are too sensitive to be stood up to

murasaki · 19/12/2025 22:33

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/12/2025 22:32

@DeadlyDead Before you do anything, click on her name IN the group and it should bring up all her previous posts, then you can see how long shes been doing this/if shes done it before. Better to have as much info as you can!

Good point.

babyproblems · 19/12/2025 22:32

Wow I cannot believe A) she would do that but B) then do it without checking you are in the group..!!!! Also surely it’s likely a friend of yours or two would also be in the group…!! So she’s been a bit stupid there. Very wierd!!

WiddlinDiddlin · 19/12/2025 22:32

@DeadlyDead Before you do anything, click on her name IN the group and it should bring up all her previous posts, then you can see how long shes been doing this/if shes done it before. Better to have as much info as you can!

bluepumpkin · 19/12/2025 22:32

Yeah I’d be super uncomfortable about that. I don’t think I’d be able to keep her on but to honest the snippiness over requests would already have pissed me off! The photographs of my home on Facebook would really be the last straw. What other weird stuff might she do?!