Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

I feel really sorry for her, but it’s also nutjob-esq behaviour and i wouldn’t trust my house in her hands either.

I think you have to let her go rather than assume it’s a one-time moment of madness from an otherwise honest person.

I feel a bit sad for her... maybe she lives in a shit house and can't afford lovely decorations.

I can’t believe anyone would think you are being unreasonable!

Comment on the post saying something like 'WOW looks amazing' then when she's next at yours let her bring it up or mention that you'd prefer it if she don't post pictures of your home on her socials. It's a breach of trust & respect so I'd not be too trusting going forward if you decide to keep her on.

You’re doing the right thing to dispense with her services.
Given her sensitivity about being spoken to about her cleaning I doubt speaking to her about the post would go down well.
People saying it’s a compliment, it is but it’s also a huge invasion of privacy, and really stupid, she could have blocked your fb profile and you’d never have known what she’s posting, not that it makes it okay!
She doesn’t get a free pass cos she’s got a disabled child, I have too and normal rules apply, being respectful of other people’s privacy is the norm surely?
Sounds like you have been very generous to her, such a pity she didn’t really appreciate your kindness.

I was going to say, this has the feel of a film or TV drama where the cleaner/nanny/any domestic help swoops in to take over the other person's life.
I would be getting a new cleaner if this was me.
It is probably why I don't have anyone work in my house (trust issues).

Even the Royal Family refer to Staff not Servants these days.

A friend of mine had a nanny who started telling people she was adopting her children, and that they were hers. Creepy

I can understand why you don’t want her back but I think I’d also feel a lot of empathy for her to be honest; how sad she’s showing off your life and not her own.

Servant??? It's 2025 amd as far as I know OP does not reside in Downton Abbey!

Oh wow,This is so bad! I would send screenshot and ask her to delete immediately if she doesn't want to then that's it she is not coming back!

I’m trying to think that you’re having a bit of a laugh on the thread rather than being utterly insane - “Christmas kindness” and a bonus WTF?!

OP obviously needs to get rid of her.

If this is true this is really weird.
Plus she is not super bright - would she not have checked you were not in the group, if thought about the possibility of someone who knows you well recognising the stuff.

Also don't understand the "dilemma" - there can't be any other option than to confront her about it surely?

Not sure what European country you are in, OP, but you need to change the locks to avoid her going into your home and "squatting" as it may then be impossible to get her out if she has been given a key by you.

I've only ever had to do deal with a carer/cleaner through a care company as I mentioned in previous posts.

A relative hired a cleaner through a cleaning company. They were very pleased with her and very sympathetic to an immigrant making her way in a new country. (Some members of our family have an immigrant background.)

The relative couldn't find some of her clothes...Then she saw pics of the cleaner wearing them, on social media. A crazy thing for the cleaner to do, but...

The family also lost money and a piece of jewellery. It was reported to the police, but nothing was recovered.

i suppose I'm projecting my own family's experiences, but I'm thinking 'thin end of the wedge' with regard to the OP's cleaner.

I would be annoyed! And I know I'd be unable to just let it go
It's a breach of privacy and confidentiality. And I'd she's posted this on Facebook, what's she doing that you're unaware of?
I wouldn't want her back in my home again .

Taking pictures inside a client’s house and posting them online is justification to end the contract immediately. Did the cleaner sign an NDA ?

The fakery about it being her house is secondary but worrying. The trust is gone now, tell her she’ll not be required again.

There’s not a nice way to sack someone. Not much point being overly nice about it, she’ll hate you either way.

This!

Bloody hell @SouthLondonMum22 😂 yes, I have no doubt that the cleaner deliberately posted the photos. I was countering your comment about the cleaners lack of empathy.

It's so easy to slip into tangents and add a load of extra information when you get into it with someone, and it's just descending into pointless bickering. So I'll just remind you of the quote that I was disagreeing with because I'm not interested in doing that. It wasn't an abstract idea I was trying to debate, it wasn't OPs decision, it was very specifically this:

"You can't do whatever you like just because you may be 'vulnerable'.

Actions have consequences."

The post wasn't saying that vulnerable people should be able to do what they want. It wasn't saying that actions shouldn't have consequences. That's it.

Personally, my compassion and empathy isn't conditional (bar something unthinkable), especially if I had a good relationship with them as OP said she did. So the question of "why should I show empathy?" felt like an odd thing to throw into the conversation. But it's really irrelevant to what I was trying to say and I don't really want to continue to widen this conversation on someone else's thread.

Of course it was deliberate, counting on OP not finding out doesn't make it any less so.

If OP chooses to confront her on social media, again, that would be a case of actions having consequences and she would only have herself to blame.

I'd certainly be worried but as I said, I would've fired her already by now because I wouldn't be able to trust her in my home again.

"Well, she clearly wasn't thinking about how it would make OP feel if she saw those pictures or she wouldn't have done it in the first place.

I just don't think OP has to feel compassion or empathy for someone who now has her worrying about having to change the locks, other things she may have done that OP doesn't know about etc."

What she did was unthinking, inconsiderate, rude, whatever. It wasn't deliberately spiteful. OP came on her considering what her next step should be. Taking some of these suggestions would be a deliberate choice to disregard compassion. I don't know what else to tell you. Unbelievable that it needs spelling out for you ffs.

Nobody has to feel compassion or empathy. But this disagreement was triggered by someone advocating for a deliberate act of callousness. Yes, nobody can stop people from being deliberately and unnecessarily nasty, no one is going to force others to show empathy. But other people will have opinions on that.
And perhaps if people had been more reasoned and didn't whip themselves up into a frenzy, OP might not have been as worried as she is. Maybe she could've smoothed things over and rebuilt the trust. After all, she has had a good relationship up until now.

109% agree here. If she's making up a lie about that, what else is she doing?

"The comment implied that because she was vulnerable she should get a free pass"
@Rosscameasdoody

No it didn't imply that.
It's not even my post, but it's clearly in response to one particular posters suggestion.

It's saying "don't be unnecessarily cruel" not "OP should give the cleaner free rein to do whatever she likes".

Well, she clearly wasn't thinking about how it would make OP feel if she saw those pictures or she wouldn't have done it in the first place.

I just don't think OP has to feel compassion or empathy for someone who now has her worrying about having to change the locks, other things she may have done that OP doesn't know about etc.

The comment implied that because she was vulnerable she should get a free pass - and there’s no evidence that she’s actually vulnerable. Maybe the cleaner didn’t cook OP’s cat or whatever. But what she did was post photos of the inside of OP’s home online without her permission, in order to pass it off as her own. If OP hadn’t seen the posts she’d be none the wiser, and this brings up the question of trust, honesty and responsibility - what else is she up to that OP doesn’t know about ?