Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

I don't think anyone will have a cleaner after I tell the two accounts I know of.

My ex-partner had a cleaner for several years, and she used to come to clean while he was at work. One day, he went home unexpectedly in the middle of the afternoon, to find the cleaner and her boyfriend in my then partner's bedroom, and the cleaner's BF was trying on my partner's designer underwear. Pants had gone missing lately, and now, my partner knew why!

He had some very expensive items, and I suppose they felt aggrieved they couldn't afford such nice things. But honestly, underpants, of all things!

*

In the second account, my closest female friend hired her cleaner to also look after her home while my friend was overseas on holiday over New Year. She was very pleased and came back to a lovely clean house.

But she was less pleased when she saw (rather like your experience, Op!) photos on the cleaner's Facebook page showing a raving New Year party ... in my friend's house. There were bodies everywhere, draped over everything, and a questionable couple in my friend's bed.

Trust gone
she is gone
dont over think it
get your keys bck
change the code

posting photos of your decorations and passing them off as her own. In a group you are in. It’s unhinged.

do not entertain her coming back. And definitely do not leave her with a set of keys.

At first I expected to read that she’d stolen some decorations and you’d noticed them in her photos!
Shes betrayed your trust by showing photos of your home. No one may know it’s your home but if someone did some digging it’s always possible to find out addresses and then she’s put you in an unknown situation.
Id personally message her asking if she’d posted the thread and used your photos as you were thinking of going to the police as you don’t know who would have access to take the photos. Give her a chance to be honest and explain herself, if she denies it or makes up an excuse then she’s shown herself as untrustworthy and she wouldn’t be allowed to enter my home again.

💯

I wonder if she’s struggling, but in order to stop her stop her family worrying she’s told them she’s doing better than she actually is?… not sure why she wouldn’t just send the pic to family though, putting photos of someone else’s house on social media is risky…
@DeadlyDead I would message the admin of the Facebook group and ask them to remove the post.. explain the situation and.hopefully they’ll remove the post.
Or text her and say ‘I’ve seen the post you shared on X group and am please requesting you remove it and that you don’t do that again.
see what she says in response.

What the heck?? Obviously that’s insane behaviour. I’d have to let her go,

I cannot believe you are even dreaming of letting this slide. It’s one thing to take a pic of your tree and text a friend about how lovely it is. It is quite another to POST IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA FOR LIKES. I mean seriously! Goodness knows what else she has taken pictures of in your home.

I would reply under the thread “thanks for sharing personal pictures of my home on social media. Please take this as your notice not to come clean again”

harsh but fair given the circumstances

It's giving me "run like hell" vibes. Possibly because I have been in a weird copycat situation myself. It was disturbing and caused me real damage. I didn't even know about this phenomenon back then, apart from having seen Single White Female; it was hard to believe what was happening. Now I'm aware of real-life cases where this has led to arson, even murder, I'd be battening all the hatches pronto.

More people behave in extremely odd, socially unacceptable ways than one would think. It's never due to mundane issues like commonplace envy or insecurity; it's always a severe psychological problem that could go sideways fast. If you're that person's therapist or have professional responsibility for them, you may need to safeguard them (and yourself). Unless you have this kind of duty and expertise, it's wise to distance them.

i’m a soft touch and fairly relaxed about privacy/social media…but I would cancelling all future cleaning immediately and telling her why. It’s a fundamental breach of trust

I think having a conversation with her and being honest about you seeing the post and see what she says and reacts would be helpful for you. I know previously on Facebook you could see group members previous posts, can you still do that and can you see hers? I’d be curious about what else she’s posted about, whether this post is the first where she’s pretending your house in hers etc.
i think until you have a chat with her it’s tricky to make a decision as to what to do, as you need to know her motive etc. but trust is broken too and it’s whether you feel comfortable with her being in your home anymore? I’m not sure I would but im
not a very trusting person so wouldn’t have a cleaner anyway!

Change the locks. Change the code

It’s really weird when people make up stuff for attention 😶‍🌫️.Its quite sad and pathetic really. I’m talking about the cleaner obviously

What next would worry me. Borrow a dress /shoes? Necklace? She's living a fantasy life on sm. She may need to upgrade her wardrobe to continue her sm pics...
I am a cleaner and she's bang out of order imo.

Agree. She sounds unwell. Who the hell does that? She'd never set foot in my home again.

Never give the benefit of the doubt to bizarre behaviour particularly when someone has access to you and your home. #bekind gets people harmed and killed.

I can pity the cleaner while still realising this is abnormal behaviour and possibly dangerously so. Never do the #Bekind thing to people who behave abnormally (maybe occasionally for family it is worth the risk).

Nobody can know why people do bizarre things and trying to ascribe reasons to them is a mug's game. The whys don't matter, only whether someone could be dangerous or not.

She could be an absolute nutter, or just a poor soul. There is no way to tell. Either way, OP should sack her in January with no drama and change the locks.

Absolutely as weird af but also sad. As there’s no link to the OPs home - apart from the pics of course - a strong word about boundaries might suffice rather than sacking.

I think this is odd and obviously inappropriate behaviour from someone who you trust to be in your house when you're not there. I sense a slight undercurrent of "you're obviously very well off and she's having a hard time so you should let it go" on this thread, but I don't think I agree with that. You pay her to do a job, it's a job that involves trust and requires her to respect your privacy, and it's a breach of that trust and privacy for her to have taken photos of your house to pass off on the internet as her own. I don't think she doesn't know it's inappropriate and whether she does or not I would wonder what other obviously inappropriate stuff she might do if she was confident of not getting caught.

That sounds fair to me.

I think there are two things here that need to be separated:

1. It is never OK for a cleaner to post photos of private property for any reason if she didn't have the owner's permission to do so. I'd sack her over this. It doesn't matter why she did this, there is no good reason.
2. OP lacks self-awareness and it's apparent to me her relationship with her cleaner isn't as good as she'd like to believe. But this is not the subject of this thread and it doesn't change point 1. Two separate issues.

I'd not want a person to have keys to my house, go away and have her there alone after what she did. I'd get the key first then terminate the contract, but pay her for the last clean due to short notice - she may not 'deserve' this technically but I'd rather not create further animosity. I think it's the best decision for the OP.²

Once you sack her, change your locks.

Love your Internet doormat act!

Actually that's a fair point re it maybe having been meant to reference the cleaning. I doubt it, but it's possible. Still not OK to post pics of clients' houses without their permission though.

@murasakilove that power and privilege for you 💁🏼‍♀️

Also did she even mention the decorations as the point of the op?? She may have been referring to her cleaning originally and is it so unusual for people to post their work? It sounds like points about the decorations came later, all she said as per your post is “not bad for a tired mum of 3”

Oh the sacking would involve a conversation. About boundaries and appropriate behaviour in someone else's house. It would be totally unreasonable to sack her without explaining why. She'd know by the time she left. And hopefully wouldn't do it again with other clients.