Page 10 | Feel a bit weird about what my cleaner did.

Doubledenim305 · 20/12/2025 18:09

Poodleville · 19/12/2025 17:36

She's fundamentally dishonest so I wouldn't want her having keys to my home!

Yes it says enough about her to not want her in your house anymore.
I wouldn't even confront.
Just quietly finish it.

Casperroonie · 20/12/2025 18:08

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

I would be tempted to change locks, I know it's expensive but what if she copies the keys? Maybe I'm just really paranoid but that behaviour is sooooo weird.

Alwaysalert · 20/12/2025 18:07

Oh and I use Mumsnet and sometimes Quora. Forgot to mention tnhat though obvious I'm on here now. Duh!.

cantbearsed27 · 20/12/2025 18:05

The cleaner is very odd, I feel sorry for her but the behaviour is completely unacceptable.

You house sounds like it is fabulously decorated though! The giant hanging baubles sound amazing.

Buzyizzy217 · 20/12/2025 18:05

I read this in horror! I am a domestic cleaner with long standing clients and would never, ever do that. TBH I’d actually tick her off and find someone that respects your property. The only time I ever took pictures was to back up my finding maggots in a food bin and slugs in a washing machine tray, and yes both were being used. 😳 But I worked for an agency then.

Alwaysalert · 20/12/2025 18:05

Mropalsmusic · 19/12/2025 19:23

How very MN. Cleaner breaches trust and privacy and they’re telling the client to reward her with a bonus.

OPs still just a client and not a friend of the cleaner and the fact is she has been not only strange but unprofessional .

It’s too much for OP to be trying to play psychologist with her and uncover the reason for this. because let’s face it - this is very creepy behaviour.

It’s not your garden variety boring lie or something someone has said in the spur of the moment while under pressure to answer questions.

She really went home, had a think and thought this was a good idea to post this. 🚩

Edited

There are loads of things I am envious about in life but it is a passing envy, I don't go home and obsess about it. I don't covet what other people have. I admire people's taste and usually envy the fact they managed to get a tradesman who did a good job and didn't take the piss like loads of mine have. As I've always had to work I have trusted tradesmen - so called reputed ones, only to be taken advantage of so, so many times. I do not really like Social Media posts so if it had been my, home I would never know as I just check if my mate has sent me any memes and may spend an hour looking at cute dogs and cats and then I'm off it. I just think the whole thing of posting every thing you do or eat or take part in is quite sad no matter how much the poster owns, it is just so alien to me. I have been amazed at the places people want to pose - at , garage when I was putting petrol in my car, someone nearly knoocked me over as she was busy looking behind her in front of her, but not at the side of her where I was. It's not even a nice garage and she didn't have a particular unusual or nice car, well I wouldn't know if she did really tbh. But it just looked ordinary to me.
I personally think the cleaner has breached data protection as some people may be aware where the house is and will recognise your home and be aware when it is empty because you are out and the cleaner is taking lots of photos so you must not be due home any time soon. Some criminal gangs look at Social Media such as Facebook to get a gist of where may be easy to break in. Which homes are empty during the day etc. I just find it totally unacceptable and you may not have found things missing yet but it does not mean that she has never taken anything. You have may not yet realised that an item(s) are missing. Hope everything is ok on the safety front, take care and be more careful who you give access to your home going forward.

Alan198 · 20/12/2025 18:03

The woman sounds unstable, where could this lead, you go on holiday and she poses your house as hers. It seems she is unhappy with her life and maybe prefers yours maybe. You could deal with this as a friend and encourage her to get help or you could deal with it professionally and immediately fire her. It's a complete breach of your privacy and confidentiality. I would also be reporting it to your group administrator and taking screen shots. I think if you install covert cameras in your home you may be surprised what she's up to when your out too.

catlover123456789 · 20/12/2025 18:02

Someone once pretended at work that my cat was their cat. Like, why? Totally weird and gave me a proper ick. If someone can lie about that, what else would they lie about?

Casperroonie · 20/12/2025 18:01

DeadlyDead · 19/12/2025 17:29

My cleaner has been with me for a few years. She’s a very nice woman, but can be a bit sensitive (if I give any feedback/ask for her to change something she does etc. she doesn’t take it well). I trust her- she has her own set of keys for my house, knows the alarm code etc. Good relationship overall- if I’m home when she’s here I’ll make us both coffee and we’ll chat.

She came on Monday for her usual cleaning appointment. I put my Christmas decorations up last weekend and she was very complimentary of them, asking where I got various bits etc. To be fair, I do go a bit OTT and love Christmas and this year’s decorations turned out especially well- I make a lot of stuff myself, and also have been collecting bits for years. We had coffee and then I needed to go out so we said our goodbyes, and I left her to it.

She lives about eight miles away from me, but we’re in the same area.

Today, I went onto Facebook and a post from a local group I’m in came up. It was a photo of someone showing off their Christmas decorations- I had to do a double take because it was my house! Pictures of my living room, hallway, landing, and sitting room, all decked out for Christmas. They were posted by my cleaner (under her own name- we’re not FB friends but both members of this group). The caption is along the lines of “not bad for a tired mum of three” and there are a few thousand likes and a several hundred comments (it’s a very big group). Lots asking where she got various items from and she’s replying, based on her asking me the same thing on Monday! In one comment she didn’t know where something was from and replied “I’ve had that for years, it was originally my Nan’s” 😮 (about a candle holder I got in Next c. 2019!!)

When I first saw it, I was a bit perplexed but didn’t dwell. Now that it’s sunk in, I’m a bit pissed off. My home isn’t instantly recognisable to strangers based on those photos, it does feel like a breach of privacy.

As I said, she can be quite sensitive so even saying this to her gently will likely result in her getting upset, and likely not coming to clean for me again. I can get another cleaner, but I don’t really want things to end this way as I’ve been happy with her until now.

In my shoes, would you be annoyed?

AIBU to be annoyed?

Yep, her behaviour is totally bizarre and actually quite worrying. Now the whole world can find out what the inside of your house looks like and could even be used to aid burglaries. This isn't unusual in some countries (the images used for burglaries). I would ask her to take the photos down.

At the end of the day, it's dishonest and she posted photos of the inside of your home without consent.

TheAmberUser · 20/12/2025 18:00

Sorry but i would have to comment on the post how fabulous the decorations look. In the meantime change the alarm code and get new keys cut.

Dawnb19 · 20/12/2025 18:00

I'd post photos on the same group and pretend you didn't know she put them up. When people say something say it's your home and play dumb. I bet she'll delete the soon enough.

oldmoaner · 20/12/2025 17:55

Maybe she's just really wishing your home was hers. Probably fantasises when she's cleaning that it's her home.
Maybe point it out next time she's there and say id swear this is inside MY house. See if she owns up but she would know that you've seen it.
I had a friend ask to use my bathroom that I had just spent a lot of money on having completely gutted and modernised. She was up there ages. Few months after she was having her bathroom done, put photos on FB and it was identical to mine, she had taken photos shown them to shop and said she wanted exactly the same.

Rainbowalley · 20/12/2025 17:55

So you have to tread carefully in case she gets insulted 😩nope I would be shocked and very annoyed at this I would say something and I suspect it would be the end of our arrangement jealousy life somewhere in all this

Rpop · 20/12/2025 17:54

This is too odd for me too. Given she has your keys and code. My spider senses are troubled. I would have to end the arrangement.

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 20/12/2025 17:53

change alarm code
Delete this thread if she is frequently on social media
ask for keys back when she next comes
explain your circs have changed
give money for one week’s notice despite her action

Beemagirl · 20/12/2025 17:53

Reminds me of a friend’s story years ago. Same kind of relationship. She felt inexplicably uneasy so set up a hidden camera. Net result the cleaner was helping herself to the treadmill, trying on all her clothes and taking pound coins from a whisky bottle and that was just from the room with the camera (pre Ring days). Not suggesting your cleaner is a thief by any stretch but there’s clearly a yearning to have your life or something like it. Sadly what usually follows is the mindset that she deserves it and you can afford it so why shouldn’t she have a piece of it. You have two options - either sit her down and ask her why. She’ll either burst into tears or get very defensive. Or,just let her go without explanation. You’ll know what you feel most comfortable doing.

bertomi · 20/12/2025 17:52

That is weird.

TheAdjutant · 20/12/2025 17:50

Given the line-manager nature of your relationship - "feedback" - I'm sure that you could hold a "performance review" with her!

Iziz · 20/12/2025 17:47

I would drop her makes me think of some TV series or true crime drama she seems unstable and quiet frankly stupid to think you will never see it , she might’ve even dressed in your clothes and pretended to be you red flag screams mental illness .

Original poster

DeadlyDead · 20/12/2025 17:41

Another2356 · 20/12/2025 17:34

I would not over-react in a way it’s a compliment that she wants to be seen as having a wonderful Christmas theme, however I would request she takes the photos down, as unlikely as it may be, it could create a security risk and you don’t want her posting pics of the house online as you don’t know who they are shared with nor can you be certain that meta data cannot be accessed (which can provide details if where and when the pics were taken).

Not singling your post in it on purpose but it’s the most recent of several that suggest tits a compliment.

Obviously, I think my home and decor are lovely (or else I would have them) and, being honest, I think a lot of people would like them. I know some would hate them, many more indifferent.

The thing with posting photos on a FB group is that you’ll get all kinds of comments, good and bad. I’ve seen plenty of examples where people have posted decorations online and others have been nasty- calling them tacky, cheap looking etc.

If my decorations were different and she posted them for ridicule, would you (plural- eg those on the thread who feel what she did was harmless/complimentary) feel the same?
Or if she posted meaning to be complimentary but received a huge amount of negative comments?

OP posts:

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 20/12/2025 17:36

God I feel a bit sorry for her, what a weird thing to do, itll be very very awkward to bring it up. Also surely anyone who knows her locally would recognise its not her house or decor so she must also be very lonely. I'd definitely quietly let her go but wouldn't actually raise it (I hate confrontation and also this is so awkward, I'd just say things had changed and I no longer needed her right now) and get the keys back ASAP (maybe change the locks). It's a sad and odd, slightly sinister, thing to do that shows she's clearly jealous of you and possibly a bit obsessed....

Another2356 · 20/12/2025 17:34

I would not over-react in a way it’s a compliment that she wants to be seen as having a wonderful Christmas theme, however I would request she takes the photos down, as unlikely as it may be, it could create a security risk and you don’t want her posting pics of the house online as you don’t know who they are shared with nor can you be certain that meta data cannot be accessed (which can provide details if where and when the pics were taken).

cheddercherry · 20/12/2025 17:32

KidsDoBetter · 20/12/2025 16:27

“Massive security risk” lol

Show quote history

I think someone with access to my house, security codes and knowledge of my security system who is then acting in such a bizarre way, documenting and sharing my home and its (clearly expensive) contents with a group of apparently 1000s of strangers who all happen to live locally and therefore could recognise it, is a massive security risk. Lol….

Dontfencemein · 20/12/2025 17:24

I am a firm believer in being kind and reasonable to people you employ. But what she did was a step too far and a breach of trust and privacy. I would never trust her again and would be asking for my keys back.

agentmarmalade · 20/12/2025 17:20

Poodleville · 19/12/2025 17:36

She's fundamentally dishonest so I wouldn't want her having keys to my home!

I agree. It's weird. What else is she going to lie about or do? What else has she lied about? I'd get my keys back/change the locks and comment on the picture "this is my house and this is my ex cleaner who's made this post"
Liars get emboldened to cross more boundaries when we don't call them out. I consider liars to be potentially dangerous.