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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end 1 month relationship over this tiny thing

387 replies

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 21/12/2025 03:43

Its grim and he was disrespectful to your wishes. Thin end of wedge. You'll probably end up splitting over something even more grim or disrespectful further down the line

JMSA · 21/12/2025 03:42

I abhor litter louts and would flog them all publicly.
I would end it with him 100%, as our values just don’t match.

supersop60 · 21/12/2025 03:34

He’s a rule breaker. Doesn’t accept boundaries.
Red flag.

My mum had Alzheimer’s - one of the earliest signs was her throwing a crisp packet out of the car window. It was so unlike her, and she looked blankly at me when I reprimanded her.

Redragtoabull · 21/12/2025 03:17

Yep, he's gotta go. How uncouth and a show of behaviours to come, especially as you had 'begged' him not to. Lose the net and throw this litter bug back. My daughter spat her chewing gum out of my window, so when it was safe, I stopped and told her to get out of my car for being disrespectful, to me, the person it may have landed on or the person getting up at 3am to clean our already filthy streets, not only that I'm sure a car owner can be fined for littering, no matter if it was a passenger. Littering is the same as spitting to me, totally vile, unnecessary and disrespectful 😒

JHound · 21/12/2025 03:10

This would completely put me off somebody I just started dating.

Mcpdon · 21/12/2025 02:31

He is a shameful piece of shit.

Get rid.

Huge red flags.

it isn’t a tiny thing at all

Mcvitiesgold · 21/12/2025 02:16

No, absolute shit behaviour, I’d be so embarrassed

Wonderlandpeony · 21/12/2025 02:10

I have a family member who throws rubbish out of their car as they're driving. Though not formally diagnosed as they are elderly, I would describe them as having learning disabilities, and also having an anti social personal disorder.

Get rid, life's too short, he'll end up making you miserable.

EMUKE · 21/12/2025 01:39

This is a great opportunity to get rid. It’s not about littering, it’s so much more. Even reading this iv thought no mortals (not aligning with yours), no respect (when asked not to he still did it), no thought process. His actions speak a thousand words. Nah in the time it’s taken you to write this post I’d of given him a call or text already just explaining “somethings just not right” thank you but I don’t see this fulfilling my relationship needs. Throwing litter makes me think he is socially uneducated so dumb it down for him but you don’t need to explain the littering I’m sure the more time you waste on him you’d see more red flags. Don’t waste your precious time.

Oldwmn · 20/12/2025 23:34

Btowngirl · 19/12/2025 17:09

It would be enough for me to end it I think. Although I can imagine him saying he had been broken up with due to littering and it sounding a bit wild. Have you addressed it with him & what did he say? That would be very telling.

Never give a wanker a chance.

Oldwmn · 20/12/2025 23:31

bicyclecrash · 19/12/2025 17:07

or am I being dramatic?

Please be honest if im overreacting. Me and my boyfriend have been together officially for 6 weeks, it's going really well. Yesterday we went out for dinner and I drove us back to mine after. On the way back, he rolled down the window and threw his empty drink can out of my car. As soon as he rolled down the window i knew that was what he was going to and asked / begged him not to as I'm the one who's car it is and I don't want someone posting my car all over the local facebook group saying rubbish is being thrown out of it.

Also it gave me the ick. I find it a bit grim that he couldn't wait 10 mins till we got to my house to throw his rubbish away.

30 years ago, I was in the same position as you. One evening, he picked me up in his car & once I was in, he leaned across me to dump the contents of his ashtray into the gutter outside my house. I should have got out of the car & told him & his disgusting behaviour to fuck off but, shamefully, I didn't.
Trust me, a man who does this sort of thing will be an arse through & through. Dump him.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/12/2025 23:02

Yanbu. That would show me that we have concretely different values. I just can't imagine doing that, ever, even if no one was watching etc

Farticus101 · 20/12/2025 22:50

I rarely say LTB but it fits here.

LTB!

Robogob · 20/12/2025 22:48

Absolutely disgusting. I could not ignore that and would definitely dump him. You can do better than this lout.

B33cka8 · 20/12/2025 22:47

Honestly read this and thought NOPE. Massive nope, red flag. Why can he take his rubbish home? Just ridiculous, not into the environment, not self aware. Nope. I'd have done the same darling

Horses7 · 20/12/2025 22:44

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 19/12/2025 17:08

So he also ignored your request not to chuck litter?

I'd get rid.

This - it would be bad enough to litter but to do it after you’d asked him not to!!!

MASSIVE RED FLAG, THROW HIM BACK IN TO THE MURKY POND HE CRAWLED OUT OF!!

Anywherebuthere · 20/12/2025 22:36

I detest that kind of behaviour. And he did it even though you asked him not to.

If I got the ick, nothing could undo the ick! So I would end it.

maximist · 20/12/2025 22:10

I’d have stopped the car and thrown him out after it. Get rid of him asap.

Theslummymummy · 20/12/2025 21:50

Absolute scum of the earth. But why are you concerned about it being your car and not that it's bad for the environment??

intergalacticplanetary · 20/12/2025 21:49

Nearly50omg · 19/12/2025 17:11

I’d have stopped the car and told him to get out and pick that can up and then driven off when he got out and left him 🤬

Snap! That would be game over for me. Repulsive behaviour.

TreeDudette · 20/12/2025 21:35

I also wondered what antisocial turd throws rubbish out of their car window. Absolutely dump his arse!

MsSmartShoes · 20/12/2025 21:32

Yuk. No - set him free for another litterer to snap up.

snackatack · 20/12/2025 21:20

you begged him and he ignored you

Imagine you ask him to wash up - clean up - tidy up - do the washing - look after the kids..

NOPE - throw him back

YourAquaLion · 20/12/2025 21:17

Massive dick, defo get rid and tell him exactly why. I’m the person who goes round picking all of this sh*te up. Baffles me why people do it.

Konstantine8364 · 20/12/2025 21:16

Ewww. Definitely end it that's an absolutely disgusting thing to do 🤢🤢