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Original poster

Would you help adult DC to go on holiday for friend's 30th?

136 replies

needtowashthefloor · 19/12/2025 12:37

My DD is 26, works full time and bought her first house earlier this year. I know money is tight for her but she is fully financially independent from me. I actually think it's good for her to not have much (and have told her as much) at least once in her life so I don't bail her out, although I do occasionally take her out for lunch etc.
One of her friends from uni turns 30 next year and the friend has invited their uni friend group (about six girls) to go on a holiday abroad to celebrate. DD wants to go but is worried about how she is going to afford it. If you had the means, would you help to allow her to go? She has never been on holiday with the whole group, only a couple of holidays with one or two of her friends at a time.

OP posts:
Medexpert · 19/12/2025 13:03

26 is very young to have bought a house. Maybe it would have been wiser to have a fun, care-free few years first
What a strange post! I think it's amazing to read about a young adult prioritising safety and investment over being care-free. At 26, I expect any young person have been care-free for many years already. At what age are adults supposed to stop just having fun?

Then again, it seems to be a societal issue where its considered the wise thing to do for as long as possible, until the tides naturally shift and its then too late to invest in the future.

Mincepiefan · 19/12/2025 13:02

As Christmas and birthday presents and if it doesn't cause you hardship, yes. Even though your daughter isn't behaving in an entitled way, I probably wouldn't want to set an unconscious precedent by just giving her the money. The friendship group is likely to have other birthdays upcoming. But it would be a lovely Christmas/birthday present.

Cherrytree86 · 19/12/2025 13:01

Yes. Pay for the full thing and give her plenty of spending money, OP
@needtowashthefloor

Medexpert · 19/12/2025 12:59

Exactly the same situation for me. Also believe it does her good to know what its like to live on little, but a one off special holiday trip? Yes, I'd definitely pay for it.

starballoons · 19/12/2025 12:59

Absolutely I would and I know my mum would do this for me. If you have the means then I don’t really understand why you’re questioning it. It doesn’t sound like she asks for a lot from you.

TheCosyViewer · 19/12/2025 12:59

26 is very young to have bought a house. Maybe it would have been wiser to have a fun, care-free few years first.

TheCosyViewer · 19/12/2025 12:58

I definitely would.

Growlybear83 · 19/12/2025 12:58

Of course I would help out if I was able to.

TiaKofi · 19/12/2025 12:57

Please do it! I’m a young woman who owns my own home and has 0 help from my parents and this will make her year. What a weight off for her to make amazing memories before her friends start settling down etc

TheSeventh · 19/12/2025 12:57

Probably, how much is it/where are they going?

MuyPuy · 19/12/2025 12:55

She has time to save up. If she still can’t afford it after budgeting, she can afford it.
id probably be happy to help out with spending money nearer the time but the holiday need to be budgeted and saved up for.

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 19/12/2025 12:55

Depends, is she used to being helped out? Did she have to save and work hard for the house she has bought? I would not want to hand everything to my DC but if she was a genuine hard worker, not spoilt and I had the money then yes without hesitation.

hurtsworse · 19/12/2025 12:55

As a christmas and birthday gifts i would! I'd make it clear this is a one off and she can choose that. If they're the sort of group who once they've been away for ones birthday they'll all follow with trips of their own, you aren't going to bankroll anymore.

unsevered67 · 19/12/2025 12:54

Definitely. Wouldn’t need to think twice

Scarlettpixie · 19/12/2025 12:54

Absolutely. You don't give her handouts and she sounds like she is doing well. She is very sensibly wondering if she can afford to go rather than just putting it on her credit card. I think it would be a lovely thing to do.

sprigatito · 19/12/2025 12:52

If I could afford it, absolutely. I’d love to be able to do things like this for my adult DC.

LeroyJenkinssss · 19/12/2025 12:52

I would. She’s saved up for a house so evidently isn’t frivolous with cash. I certainly wouldn’t want her to take out a loan for it and I would make it clear it’s a one off. Also ask if she wants to go enough - she may be somewhat keen but it’s not hugely high on her priorities. Also how much are we talking??

DramaAlpaca · 19/12/2025 12:50

Yes

pambeesleyhalpert · 19/12/2025 12:50

Absolutely

yeesh · 19/12/2025 12:49

Yeah of course

Instructions · 19/12/2025 12:46

Probably not.

She's an adult who has been able to buy a house.

She can save up. Or take out a loan. Or not go.

mumonthehill · 19/12/2025 12:44

you could give money towards it for Christmas and birthdays. My dm does this sometimes for us which is really lovely.

Greengreengras · 19/12/2025 12:44

As a gift yes

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 19/12/2025 12:43

Definitely!

NetflixandKill1 · 19/12/2025 12:43

Another vote for yes. She’s prioritised the right things in life and owning her own home at her young age is admirable.