Would you help adult DC to go on holiday for friend's 30th?

Yes I would if I could afford it comfortably. She sounds like a sensible girl, has been to Uni, has worked and has managed to get herself into her own home. She has not asked you for this, it's a gift

Yes I would pay for my 26 year olds holiday in the circumstances you have described, it would be a gift. I don't ever want my ds's to 'not have much'.

I was 26 when I first bought by myself and I wouldn't have been comfortable taking money from my parents for a trip like this. I would have wanted to either be able to pay myself and decide it was worthwhile, or I'd just have seen it as a natural sacrifice of being able to get a mortgage solo at a young age. I don't think I would pay for a child in that situation either, but my first child isn't born yet so perhaps I will feel differently in time!

I probably would. They’re at an age where they might start having kids, etc soon so it might be the only chance she gets to go with them for a while. If you’re not comfortable just giving her the money could you loan it to her instead and set up a payment plan with her to pay it back?

It says that OPs daughter has "bought" a house. She's made a choice of how she spends her money.

If OP wants to give her daughter the money that's her choice. It would be mine not to and that was the thread title.

Of course. I want my children to get maximum joy from life.

Depends what else she has going on in her life.

If she has any other more boring big expenses coming up (boiler, car) I might say to her I'll give her something towards those instead. Take the pressure off but she gets to enjoy spending her hard earned money on her holiday.

I realise it comes to the same thing really.

I would definitely help as it seems she has shown she can earn, budget and spend responsibly. If she was frivolous and work shy then definitely not.
Perhaps contribute towards the holiday or spending money without paying for the whole lot?

In the world of grown ups, families do help each other out when they can. Life is for living and enjoyment.

In time, it may be the daughter that helps OP out - hopefully she won’t say to her mum: welcome to the world of the elderly, if you need help getting to the hospital, paying for heating then you will find a way.

Yes, she's doing all the responsible things and can't have this time again in 2 years once she's saved up, but if they have siblings I'd balance it over time, unless they waste all their cash etc.

Without thinking about it. But then I really don’t understand your mentality of it being good for her to struggle, it seems so self-righteous and unkind. And I have a 24 year old DD who is a home owner, works hard and is a good person despite us doing things like that for her regularly.

If I could easily afford it, then yes, absolutely!

For this specifically yes - because at my older age I totally value the female friendships that have sustained and supported me beyond family and partners. I would see it as an investment in her long term emotional health.

She sounds very hard working, sorted and financially astute - she might not have another opportunity to celebrate a milestone birthday like this with her female friends before marriages and babies take over

Yes I would, and I do sometimes give them something towards things when I can. I didn’t have that and there were times when it would have made a huge difference to me. My parents would never help me out, and they could have. They just chose not to.

If she's an only, then yes. If you have other children I'd have a think about how to mitigate against feelings of jealousy. I'd still do it if I wanted to, but with a bit of thought.

It’s not a case of ‘if she really wants to go she’ll find a way’.
Some people have got more privileged lifestyles than others.

OP may have inherited a house and have no rent to pay and married a wealthy man.

OPs DD may be renting (which is very expensive now) and be single.

It doesn’t mean DD is bad with money or doesn’t work hard.
She may just genuinely not have the money to go and if OP is in a more privileged position then why would she not treat her own child.

Yes absolutely offer to pay for the holiday as a treat. Don’t make it a loan or birthday present. She will never forget your generosity and kindness and will hopefully do the same for her children.

Yes

Yes i would if I could afford it

I wouldn’t think twice.

Unless there is some back story that she’s an addict and might spend the money on something else or she has stolen from you or owes you a lot of money, then this would not even need to be a decision.

As long as it doesn’t leave you short.

No, welcome to the world of grown ups and budgets. If she wants to go that much she'll find a way.

Yes I would def pay for this if I could afford it. I regularly treat my adult DDs .... they work hard and are lovely girls and it gives me pleasure.

I definitely would. She has shown herself to be hardworking and responsible. It is so hard to buy a property for those in her age group these days, and must have involved previous and ongoing sacrifices in her social life as well as other areas of her life. I would happily pay for my DC to go on holiday in those circumstances. I would see it as a reward to them for being so brilliant and it would bring me joy to give them joy.

I would. It sounds like she is financially responsible and it’s nice to do something nice for your children when you can

How much is it going to cost and are the other friends able to pay for the holiday? Is it a case of the birthday girl has a notion to go abroad and no-one wants to say that it's too over the top (like fancy hen dos or destination weddings)?

Is it worth chatting this through with her? I would definitely help her out, but my concern would be a precedent is set within the friendship group and there become multiple similar holidays to follow, which may still be beyond her affordability.

Yes absolutely.