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Original poster

Would you help adult DC to go on holiday for friend's 30th?

136 replies

needtowashthefloor · 19/12/2025 12:37

My DD is 26, works full time and bought her first house earlier this year. I know money is tight for her but she is fully financially independent from me. I actually think it's good for her to not have much (and have told her as much) at least once in her life so I don't bail her out, although I do occasionally take her out for lunch etc.
One of her friends from uni turns 30 next year and the friend has invited their uni friend group (about six girls) to go on a holiday abroad to celebrate. DD wants to go but is worried about how she is going to afford it. If you had the means, would you help to allow her to go? She has never been on holiday with the whole group, only a couple of holidays with one or two of her friends at a time.

OP posts:
Devuelta81 · 19/12/2025 15:29

I'm going to go against the grain here, I think that is the sort of thing a 26 year old should be taking care of themselves. Perhaps you could find another way to contribute something ie give her Xmas + birthday money, or even say you had meant to give her a housewarming contribution to help set her up and now she can use it for other things 😉 That might sound silly but somehow a handout for a holiday as an established adult feels a bit off and might set the wrong precedent.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 19/12/2025 15:25

Yes definitely. You say you have the means. Sounds like she's done well to buy her own home at a young age so it would be lovely if you could help her have such a lovely treat.

Pancakeflipper · 19/12/2025 15:21

I would. I'd say it's birthday/Christmas gift. It's nice to treat those we love.

Silverbirchleaf · 19/12/2025 15:14

I would put money towards it in lieu of Christmas or birthday gifts.

Bigminnie1 · 19/12/2025 15:14

Omg of course!

TangoWhiskeyAlphaTango123 · 19/12/2025 15:10

Is OP coming back to share in the debate I wonder?

StartingOverInMy40s · 19/12/2025 15:08

100%

I wouldn’t even hesitate if I could afford it

ThatGreenFawn · 19/12/2025 15:08

Yes I would.

CautiousLurker2 · 19/12/2025 15:07

BingBongMerrilyWithPie · 19/12/2025 15:06

She's 26

Show quote history

Serves me right for nor RTFT - but it could still be a birthday/Christmas gift?

BingBongMerrilyWithPie · 19/12/2025 15:06

CautiousLurker2 · 19/12/2025 15:02

Yes. I’d dress it up as a birthday treat (am assuming DD will also turn 30 this year if it’s a uni friend?)

She's 26

Gardener82 · 19/12/2025 15:05

Yes.

CautiousLurker2 · 19/12/2025 15:02

Yes. I’d dress it up as a birthday treat (am assuming DD will also turn 30 this year if it’s a uni friend?)

Millionaura · 19/12/2025 14:55

Yes I would.

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 19/12/2025 14:54

I would but I would make sure I gave any of my other children the same amount to make sure it’s fair

JDM625 · 19/12/2025 14:51

If you have other children- will you also be giving them the exact same amount of money?

ohtowinthelottery · 19/12/2025 14:47

My DS bought a house by himself at 28 and I absolutely would help out in this situation. He doesn't earn a huge amount but manages to budget. I would perhaps suggest that they save up what they can for spending money but you offer to pay for the holiday. You can make it a Christmas/birthday present if you don't want your DD to think she can just get handouts as and when.

Peonies12 · 19/12/2025 14:45

If you can afford it, I would, but I'd say it was her Christmas and birthday present for that year. And is a one-off.

DinoLil · 19/12/2025 14:42

No. Not at the age she is.

Wingingit73 · 19/12/2025 14:42

Absolutely

TheFlis · 19/12/2025 14:38

100% I would. When my best friend lived on the other side of the world my parents paid for me to go there for their 30th birthday and it meant the absolute world.

HouseWithASeaView · 19/12/2025 14:35

If you can afford it, then yes I would. Mid-20s can be a magical, care free child free time and memories of those holidays have sustained me through sleepless nights and the chaotic yet mundane toddler days and, now I’ve got teens, it’s those friends I still message and reminisce with.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 19/12/2025 14:20

Yes

203percent · 19/12/2025 13:53

Ah! I bought my first house and became financially independent at 23. I totally agree that there is value in feeling the pinch for a few years, it really does make you grounded and allows gratitude for the easier times!

I would absolutely help her with the holiday. She deserves to enjoy her twenties and the company of her good friends.

Sharptonguedwoman · 19/12/2025 13:50

Yes of course, or give her a loan she can pay back in affordable lumps.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 19/12/2025 13:45

God, of course, I wouldn't even think twice about it.

I would most certainly offer. Whether or not she took me up on my offer I don't know. She is pretty independent but the offer would most definitely be there for her to go join her friends. I wouldn't expect to be paid back but would accept it if she insisted that she did.