Explain that working from home is WORKING

I work in an office mainly but sometimes work from home. Most of my partners have had similar type jobs. After the advent of internet dating, I went out with a heating engineer. Lovely bloke but he just could not get my job. What he really hated was that I often needed to pick up important emails in the evening whereas his job was totally defined. When he was at his job he was 100% dedicated to it but once he had finished, he didn’t need to think about it at all. It sounds similar to your fella!

in the end we broke up. He now goes out with a yoga teacher and is much happier and I’m with someone who owns their own business!

it may just be that it can’t work if he can’t get it. Nothing wrong with it either. Some people just like different things!

I haven’t read all the replies but read a few of your posts. This man sounds like a small child, constantly coming into your workspace and showing you things. Can he not entertain himself for a few hours?
And listen when you tell him you’re working? It does sound like he’s a bit dim to not grasp that you’re working.
I wouldn’t have the patience for this to be honest, but then again I’m very independent and would find this ‘dependency’ off-putting.

You are intellectually incompatible. And possibly have invited a cocklodger into your home.

Hold up! 'He's in-between jobs' What does this actually mean? If I had moved a man into my home and he was 'between jobs' I'd be really asking myself WTF have I done, not disputing on MN if you are BU because you think differently regarding work. Sorry OP but sounds like you have invited that man-child into your home. Forget that he turns up for everything else, the man needs to be working, unless I have misunderstood

Do not even get me started.

My job is WFH, because I’m field based. Most of the time I’m conducting interviews (I work in recruitment) and I’m also on teams calls for meetings.

My elderly parents know this, but still seem to think I can ditch work to drop them places, take them shopping, help them run errands etc.

I’ve explained many times that they would never have thought of calling me for these things, back when I worked in an actual office, so why do they think it’s different now my office is at home?

I get the usual “Well I don’t expect it, but just wanted to ask in case you could”. Completely missing the point that they wouldn’t even think to ask if I was working in an office somewhere else.

I’ve been WFH for over 12 years and nothing has changed, regardless of how many times I’ve tried to get them to understand I’m working and therefore not always available to run errands for them.

You really need to ram it home that working from home does not mean you’re available to be at his beck and call. I fear however, he is already in that mindset of you work from home and are therefore ‘available’

He's only just moved in and already he is displaying disrespect for your profession. This is not good. He should still be in the "best behaviour" phase. I fear it will be downhill from here.

Or having to pull over onto a hard shoulder to check the phone and then having to try pull back out. When traffic 8s busy and he has to be somewhere on a deadline delivery

This man's an idiot.You work hard and he is too needy .Dump him.

Ha...yes, probably by the sounds of him 😂

I was going to suggest that, but it sounds like he might just shout through the door to make himself heard….

Tbh he shouldn’t get to dictate or override what you tell him. If you need to concentrate and work without interruption, just tell him. If he challenges, just close it down by telling him you’ve told him what you need and that he should respect that. It’s not up to him. If he carries on arguing the toss, I’d just suggest maybe living together isn’t going to work, and he should move back out.

He’s an adult. He either does understand but doesn’t believe you - you he’s so thick he doesn’t understand. Neither is a good option

It's not proper work for sure.

🤔 🤣

Good joke..

.

It's not proper work for sure. Thankfully have got all colleagues back to the office now after some lingering post COVID.

Even better....lock 🔐 the office door lol

Or possibly just very thick?

Edited to say sorry, I see the suggestion of being thick has been mentioned before.

Something tells me that the whole point of this thread just isn't getting through to some people.

Sigh.....

If you are just WFH is the equivalent of when people used to say "she's just a housewife"

No, your brain is not broken. It is very hard for people who are not employed in screen based work to understand how intense it can be and, the actual thought processes that need to go into it. They do not get how many balls need to fly in the air (basic description) and thought through to even get to a reasonable end that will, in any case, need adjusting before a final result. You need to come to the agreement that when working you are working - that means no interruptions even if he is in the house. You need to stay in your office - get a tea/coffee maker if need be and only appear at lunch time. If he can't accept that then you really do have a problem. Not just with this but going forward as well. What you haven't said is his age though technically this should not really come into it. There shouldn't be really any difference in what you do, his trade is manual and requires thought no doubt. Ask him how he would feel in the middle of a job to be interrupted - I've seen many a trades person put off their work by interruptions and less than pleased. They too have their own ways of going through work that needs to be done. As an absolute last resort, is there anything you can show him on screen that would give him any idea as to the level of thought that needs to go into what you do. With any luck he'll be out of the house soon working happily away so it won't be an issue.

Is he 12?

I prefer to WFH and I have the kind of job that allows it. Most of my calls are international so I can do them from anywhere, so long as there is privacy.

I don’t have a partner trying to get my attention, but I’ve become the postman’s and Amazon’s default person for the entire building. There is Constant ringing of my intercom when I’m on calls or working. It drives me mad. like you say, interruptions ruin flow of work and it’s unacceptable when on calls.

Recently we have been told there are a number of mandatory days in the office and I’m actually enjoying that my workday is ring-fenced. No one knows or expects I’ll be around all the time now so I’m not pestered all day when I am at home. Maybe you could go into the office occasionally if that’s an option so you can get a break from your partner?

I agree with others though. He sounds extremely controlling, my 10 year old is more respectful than that about my work obligations.

I agree with others that your partnets attitude is odd and disrepectful. In covid i lived with my parents who had previously done 'in person' work (heathcare/education), but they had no issues getting the concept of WFH. He clearly doesn't respect you!

“partner recently moved in…”

and he would be out pretty soon. It is kind of disgusting to me that he interferes with and undermines your work but I am sure you pay your way for your own home that he enjoys. This would be over for me.

Knowing what I do about TBI there’s not a chance in hell I’d move my partner in after hospital. Your partner may never return to work and not have capacity to get that you need to be undisturbed while you work……it’s already driving you nuts now.

Actually he really doesn’t need to understand what you’re doing day to day.

He just needs to LISTEN to what you’re saying and RESPECT your wishes.

A lot of more "senior" roles are a bit like this. You're paid for what you know, which means you spend a lot of time thinking through how best to deal with something.

I have to write a lot of papers. Which in and of itself takes a couple of hours once I set off. But getting to that point means a lot of research, reading, a lot of analysis and a LOT of thinking about what all that means and how best to word / present it.

Sometimes my husband comes home from work and finds me sitting looking at the screen (or wandering about finding things to keep my hands busy while I think) and laughs that I'm "working" but really getting paid for folding the laundry. In reality, I'm still mentally at work, I just concentrate better when I'm doing something "mundane" sometimes.

It's really hard to explain unless you have a similar role.