Explain that working from home is WORKING

Did he move in after his injury?

Is part of the issue that he moved in because he was bored/lonely at home alone and hadn't thought about the fact that moving in with you didn't actually mean you were available all day every day?

As other PPs have said, he doesn’t need to understand what you do or how you do it in order to respect that, during work hours, your time and attention need to be focused on your job.

He’s a grown adult. It’s his responsibility to manage his boredom and frustration in ways that don’t intrude on you while you’re working. If he becomes needy or resentful when your attention is on your work rather than on him, that can quickly slide into a parent/man-child dynamic.

It’s entirely reasonable to be kind and understanding while he’s out of work, but that support can happen outside of your working hours. He should be able to recognise and respect that boundary.

This is a classic example of men belittling women’s jobs. You are just a paper shuffler so your job isn’t “important”.

You need to lay down really clear boundaries OP. Make it clear that you aren’t to be disturbed when you’re working.

You’d know not to come in though if someone says not to. He doesn’t need to know what algorithms are, he’s been asked not to do something and he’s repeatedly doing it because he’s selfish and/or ignorant.

But it doesn't matter whether he does or does not understand what she's doing

She has asked him repeatedly not to interrupt her when she's working. It doesn't matter whether he understands what that work consists of, he's been asked not too and he's still doing it, that's what the problem is

Get a door sign which has a do not disturb option or a free option so it's easy for him to see that way if still interrupting then he's doing it deliberately and that's a whole another level conversation.

FWIW I think some people do not understand the prospect of thinking time being work.

I had a tradesman once say to me that you pen pushers don't know what real work is it's hardly critical work about DH wfh intent on his screen...... he was dealing with a vessel which lost power and was co-ordinating the alerts to other vessels and coastguard for the vessel company.

OMG THIS!!!

Buy him an X-box for Christmas?! Get a teenager to show him how it works.

I recognise this, OP. I'm a teacher so WFH a lot during evenings, weekends and holidays. Like you, my work involves analysing layered data sets and strategic planning, and looking at screens for long periods. DP, who works 'in the field' in social care, does exactly what your DP does -pops in with offers of cups of tea, shopping lists to add to, little 'chats' etc. And just like you, if I'm interrupted, it is effortful to redirect my attention and concentration to the interrupted task again. I just keep on reminding him.

Today I'm working with this large set of data that's very dirty but valuable. I use algorithms to clean it, then I have to look carefully at what comes out, adjust how I'm doing it if the results aren't quite right, and sometimes try a few different approaches. A couple of junior colleagues then check the output manually to catch anything the computer might miss, while I document and version-control everything properly so other people can understand and repeat the work if needed.
Once that's done, I feed the cleaned data into a much larger process, which gives me results to interpret. Depending on what those results look like, I might need to change some settings and run it again. That's why I often can't say exactly how long something will take or when I'll be free. Sometimes it’s fairly quick, sometimes it takes most of the day.

You would have lost me at 'algorithms'. I am not thick or dumb or ignorant, as some posters have so charmingly put it. Data processing just isn't my field. Explain it as looking at how efficiently hospitals are managing their waiting lists, or a supermarket comparing sales of different products in different regions, or whatever it is, and I'd have some idea what you were doing.

Why regret it? It was justified and necessary. I’m enraged just reading about it, you ought to be fuming. And he ought to be apologising profusely and then demonstrating that he very much now understands the issue that he’s been causing.

God he’s gotten you well-trained hasn’t he?

If he’s a lorry driver, then the equivalent is asking him to pull over every half an hour to look at a 3 minute video. So his nice stretch of clear road is ruined.

To give him the benefit of the doubt, he’s probably bored because he’s used to being busy working. Also, if you haven’t lived together for long then he is also used to you doing things together when you are in the same place. What is he going to do with his time if he does have to retire? It doesn’t sound like he has the internal resources to deal with that.

That's not the issue at all. I write. To do so I have to go into my world, be there, notice things feel things, settle on the exact right feeling that will convey the story, then find the exact combination of words to express that in a way that is both beautiful and easy for a reader to lose themselves in.

There are people who don't write but by virtue of their jobs immediately understand that I need to get into a flow state and stay there. If I come out, I will struggle to get back in. Just as I immediately understand that while you and I have totally different types of work, we both need to get in and stay in. Tiny interruptions can ruin hours of productivity.

There are other people who don't intuitively get it, but once I explain, like I do in my first paragraph, they understand and leave me alone unless they really, really need my attention in a way that genuinely can't wait.

And there are a third group of people who are like your boyfriend. They will interrupt me whenever they want. It's not that they don't understand, it's just that they don't care enough to change their behaviour.

Your partner is in the third group and that's unacceptable for an adult. You need to stop trying to explain yourself and instead tell him that he is not to interrupt you for any non emergency reason. If he continues to do so, it's not actually working for him to live with you. He is disrespecting you massively. Do not change your job unless you really, really want to do that for your own reasons.

This, and you need to stop making excuses for him. So many people seem to struggle to understand that when women WFH they are actually working and not at other people’s beck and call because they are not doing “proper” jobs.

It’s misogyny.

Oh, why do you have to be kinder and more understanding?? Why can’t he manage that? Ok he’s off work injured, and might have to retire, but what is he going to do when he does actually retire and you’re still working….? Bother you all day then as well?

If you as him “why do you think it’s o to interrupt me while working?” what does he say? (sorry, the letter between j and l has stopped woring 🫤)

Early in the pandemic I had a similar situation with DH - I explained to him that him interrupting me was similar to me walking in on one of his consultations and asking him what he wanted for dinner. Silently sliding in a cup of tea ✅ showing a silly meme ❌. (And if he did slide in a cup of tea it would be best if he wore something he didn’t mind my colleagues seeing).

He doesnt need to understand what you are doing. He needs to understand the "Do not disturb me".
I think you are making excuses for him, OP.

Why does he need to understand? Isn't it enough that you've told him to stop? Why can't he just do what you've asked of him?

Maybe you need to get properly angry with him, after you’ve repeated yourself about not being disturbed at work. If he does it again, then it can only be disrespect and dismissiveness, or really unpleasant selfishness. Any of which would make me properly cross and I think you should express that to him!

You really don’t need to be sitting him at your desk and trying to explain things to him so that he gets it.

its a very simple concept, if you are in your office (the box room) at your desk you are working and he shouldn’t be coming upstairs (I presume), or into the room to find you and show you some stupid bloody video or ask you some random question.
he wouldn’t go into your office if it was out of the home, so the same applies.

oh and he is controlling / stupid depending on the legitimacy of his comparison to his ex scrolling on her phone and you sitting at a computer. It’s illogical for someone not controlling / has intelligence.

but I think you’ve got a big problem brewing if he’s likely to take early retirement due to injury, it sounds like he’s bored and wants you to entertain him. That’s only going to get worse.

oh and finally how is he going to support himself or contribute to bills once he’s retired. Trades people are notoriously bad at having paid sufficiently into a pension and he doesn’t sound like he’s at state pension age.

You’ve been together for a decade and he has zero idea about what you do, and more importantly, zero respect and appreciation for it?

🤔🤔🤔