Explain that working from home is WORKING

Why is he coming into the room while you’re working? He should not be doing that. You need to ban him from the room. He needs boundaries setting, e.g. do not disturb me between X hours.

If he can’t understand that then he is stupid I’m afraid. Or he has no respect for you. Or he’s an attention seeker. None of those are good.

Stop putting yourself down! So far you have called what you do 'idiotic', when even an imbecile can see what you do is clearly clever stuff. You have also blamed yourself with comments like this 'Maybe it's my brain that is broken here!' IT IS NOT YOU AT FAULT!!! Maybe you put yourself down to him, so that he doesn't feel emasculated by your having a good job - but seriously, it is quite frustrating to witness!

😊 absolutely agree with you...

Just show him this post OP - it explains it perfectly. 🤗

two things. Number one is that my late husband and I working in diametrically different fields but we could understand each other's work and resulting needs because we cared enough to do so. Number two is kind of similar which is where you get to a bit you can't understand, you accept it and the needs which arise. Now I don't know if he is needy or selfish or stupid or genuinely needs something that you can't give him right now....but you should think honestly about which it is.

Great rules

If he was working then l would start rolling up to his sites and start querying what he was doing. Asking what he got his mum for Christmas? What date are they going round to Uncle Derek’s for the curry etc etc

Talk to him, in detail, about what you are currently working on, projects, deadlines etc. He won't understand but will soon get the picture that you are busy. Be firm with hours and breaks.

I think this is about right, and @wfhorwtf probably pretty much knows this.

I also applaud the posters who have been honest enough to admit that either they themselves or their partners haven’t necessarily ‘got’ the concept of wfh. I disagree with all the people queuing up to label the partner as ‘thick’. However, clear boundaries such as the ‘do not disturb’ sign/closed door/whatever works in your house will have to be put in place, as this is obviously unsustainable.

Hope you can get something that works to allow you to work, @wfhorwtf

Exactly, apologise for what?! He sounds disrespectful, annoying and not the brightest button in the box. Plus has he forgotten it’s your house!?! Is he even paying his way? With money or household tasks?

Ok, if you aren’t working then what are you doing in your space room (lm not saying office as he doesn’t think you are working remember!)? Avoiding him, shirking household tasks, indulging shopping addiction, gambling, contacting other men, porn addiction?!

My cleaner works at homes where husband and wife are working. She just cracks on once admitted for two hours while working around two adults beavering away. Once finished she takes an envelope with her payment in and leaves.

My son and his wife WFH. With grand kids sometimes we need to contact so on the shared WhatsApp send a message. One of them will respond. It's really no different to an office environment. I admire their self discipline.

To me, this seems relatively simple. Apologies if it's been suggested before.

1. Explain for one final time that this is actual work, the same as any other type of work and cannot be interrupted.
2. You will be closing the door and will only be available for lunchtime (give a time) and when work ends for the day (give a time)
3. Your job can only be disturbed in an absolute emergency, as in any other job.
4. You will be putting a DO NOT DISTURB notice on the door to remind him.
5. Tell him if he does care and respect you, he will allow you to work.
6. If he doesn't, then you know where the relationship stands.

Good luck....

He sounds rude.
Yeah he might be bored, he might be needy because of his injury but he's just fricking rude @wfhorwtf

I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that he needs to stop interrupting you or this living situation won't work out.

Stop making excuses for him. He's not a child that is not capable of understanding "Hey I'm really busy today, chat to at lumchtime"

It's not up to you, OP, to explain your job to him in a way that is satisfactory to him. Whenever you find yourself having to explain something over and over to another adult, the problem is not a lack of understanding, it is a lack of respect.

If I tell someone not to disturb me whilst I am WFH, I expect them to respect that decision, not respect it only as long as it suits them.

You now need to enforce your boundary - lock the door and don't let him in. Tell him if he keeps disturbing you during working hours, he will have to leave and live elsewhere. Follow through.

You are not responsible for him being hurt by perfectly reasonable actions. He's not making himself responsible for the problems he's causing you with his interruptions, is he?

Sounds like a common or garden sexist bloke. Thinks men's work is important and women's isn't. Wonder whether he's trying to sabotage you as you're not attending to his every need. Interrupting you a couple of times an hour is outrageous. And comparing you to a social media scrolling ex - this is so rude and undermining. And he's sensitive about rejection and you're walking on egg shells trying not to offend him. He doesn't need to understand the intricacies if your job, he needs to value and respect you. His hurty feelings do not trump your needs.

Shut the door. Tell him if the door is shut, you're essentially in the lorry driving. You can't open the door, you can't talk. That's interrupting your work and will make it take longer.

I put headphones on and use white noise, my husband knows not to interrupt when my headphones are on, that's my signal to him that I'm focusing.

I don't think you should regret expressing your anger and annoyance. You should apologise if you insulted him personally of course, but it would appear that he wasn't taking you seriously AT ALL previously, so you had to do something to get the message over.

Honestly I have people at my work (by which I mean managers) that don't understand that interrupting a knowledge worker is annoying and buggers their productivity.

Worst case it can lead to oversights and mistakes and lower quality output, delivered late.

I have one who I unfortunately work for a lot, who will send me an email, which I see flashing up in my windows notification tray, and I will read it at my convenience, sometime in the next minutes. Then seconds later she will ping me on Teams, (forcing me to break task and interact), basically telling me that she's sent me an email and what it's about. In my head I'm thinking FUCK OFF I KNOW YOU SENT ME AN EMAIL YOU UTTER CONCENTRATION DESTROYING BAM but I mask that perfectly natural inner dialogue (yet more mental work that I am doing that is not me doing actual work tasks)

And relax.

Yeah it's difficult, people have to understand that you're at your work.

My partner works in IT, sounds like a similar job to you. Occasionally he’ll talk about work stuff, but to be honest it’s fairly meaningless to those not working in it other than I know broadly what he does.

He works hybrid now, entirely at home previously. He is in a home office/ spare room now but worked in shared spaces before my DD moved out. Now I always knock on door if I need to see him. Or message sometimes. In the shared space I would message only. It’s not hard to do. I don’t need to understand what he is doing, why he appears to be doing next to nothing sometimes. He is at work, that’s it.

I think you’re giving your DP far too much slack here. It’s straightforward, you don’t need to spoon feed him, or indeed change your working arrangements. He needs to accept you need to be left to work and not disturbed. It’s pretty easy to understand. I have no idea why he is referencing his ex, or anyone else, or to be honest why you’re even discussing it.

You say he’s intelligent and a great guy so he’ll get it won’t he?

It might be worth explaining it to him to outline how it works with his own business.

It's not all manual workers, because we've had builders who've understood and respected WFH boundaries, and ones who've been openly scornful of WFH, sneering about "not real work" whilst spending ages yammering on about some minor detail that could possibly wait, or that isn't to the point.

There's a special place in hell for my husband, who WFH also, and who thinks he can wander by my desk in the open-plan area and waffle on and gets all huffy if I tell him to STFU.

Yeah just ask him to keep pulling onto the hard shoulder (or better, parking up and coming in to the concourse of the next services) to watch a 30 sec video..And see how he fancies that.

Absolutely this
@wfhorwtf
He is stamping all over your boundaries
All you needed to do was say " I cant be interrupted, Im working"
Anything other than " of course" is red flag territory.
You don't need to explain to him in detail, just say no

As it is he's having a tantrum because you are prioritising your job and not him
Dreadful behaviour

He has no job
Has moved in
Is already being disrespectful and not respecting no

You should be very concerned that you have a man child cock lodger here

Its intersting on here how often the posted problem is not the actual problem.
Posted problem "I WFH and my partner keeps interrupting me"
Actual problem "My partner is facing a life changing issue and needs more of my attention than I can give"

You're making a shitload of excuses OP for behaviour that is both ignorant and rude!