Explain that working from home is WORKING

Tell him when you are in your office at home with the door closed it is the same as being in your physical office, and that if the door is closed he is not to disturb you.

I also tend to hyper focus when I get into my work. If someone pulls me out of it I find it really hard to get back in the zone.

Working in an office usually means an open-plan working area. You're not in a room of your own, you're in a cubicle or sat at a desk. Open-plan office environments are perfect for constant distractions and totally counter-intuitive to focus. And considering you're in that one building for 8+ hours a day, it's sensory hell for those who prefer peace and quiet and actually want to work.

You're in the middle of a task, and then someone asks you for a 'quick chat'. You then have to get back to the task you were doing and try to get back in the exact frame of mind you were in to get the task done. Then someone else comes along to ask you stuff. It's an endless cycle of distraction. Then there are the meetings that could have been emails, the corporate nonsense that serves to make people feel important rather than to get anything done.

The madness, the frustration, the stupidity of it all, for a salary that gets taxed and inflated away.

This is what corporate life is, 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week, getting excited for the weekend that whizzes by because it's not enough to time to decompress, you get the Sunday night scaries because you're about to do the same nonsense again for another 5 days. Before you know it, the year has gone and you're older and more tired than you were the year before.

You're also doing this for 40+ years, then you'll be too worn down to enjoy retirement, that is, of course, if you can afford to retire. Unless you're sitting on a healthy fortune, you're likely going to be working to your grave. Sure, people are living longer, but dementia can set in as early as 60, which is the age at which most people are still grinding away. It's frightening to think about.

I'm just not buying that only someone who works in a similar field could possibly understand the concept that someone can be working even when they look like they're idly thinking/typing/staring into space.
And even if it really really does look like that to him, why does he need it explained like he's a two-year-old? If you say, 'I'm working, I'm sorry, I'll be out for a cuppa in an hour' or similar, a reasonable and competent adult would understand that much, surely?
If he genuinely isn't stupid, then it sounds to me like he's either not bothering to listen and respect what you say, or he's wilfully not understanding to give him an excuse to get upset.
Neither of which is very edifying.

I've read all your posts, including the updates about his injury and altered prospects. I sympathise with him and understand why you've been trying to pussyfoot round his demands for attention. But still feel this^^ is ridiculous!

Imagine you saw a post asking "Should I completely change my working conditions to get away from my partner? It will cost me a lot more and extend my working hours, but he keeps interfering and is messing with my productivity."

How would you identify this OP's problem?

Might he understand that if you explained it was like him having to remove PPE and walk to a site entrance to look at the funny video, then put it all back on and carry on where he left off?

Argh STOP EXPLAINING! Boundaries boundaries boundaries. Sign on door, do not disturb. Ignore him completely if he comes in. Lock on door if that doesn't work. He doesn't get to tell you what you are doing or what you need. If he doesn't get the message it is time to ask him to move out again.

I understand exactly how OP feels about interruptions and this is why I am single. The human brain does not "multi task". Instead it switches from one task to another. This causes stress when it happens consistently and for long periods. I absolutely loathe being interrupted if Im doing a complex task. In fact I can become extremely angry and aggressive with the other person for failing to respect my boundaries. When I have work to do I turn off the phones, insert earplugs and play background music. I can completely dis-attend the music because its sound I have chosen. A bomb could go off outside and I would not notice.

Unfortunately OP cannot "turn of" the partner because he is a person and not a thing.

As I see it she has two choices📧

#1 impose her boundaries by teaching him to respect them

#2 move him out.

To add when I’m working from home on something intense when I get a break I want to enjoy it quietly.
I don’t want to entertain anyone.

Whether or not he can grasp the concept and needs of your working from (at?) a screen (and if he cannot, I’d say that’s a red flag the size of Kent), why isn’t it sufficient for him to be told that you may not be disturbed for trivialities while you are working?
The fact of your having said as much should have been the beginning and end of this ridiculous tussle.
What kind of man is he, that he persists in acting unconvinced?

You are setting yourself up for a hell of a time in general, I think.
Moving him in when you two are so out of sync on a basic level like this seems a bit rash to me.
Having him three times a night is one thing, and who’d blame you if all is well in that regard, but having him underfoot is quite another.
(Can he think for himself in the kitchen, for example? I tell ya, I’d want Mark Hix/Nigel Slater cookery skills in this case!)

Your work uses your brain, his job is manual trades. So ask him how he would feel if he was trying to work, and you kept interrupting him at work to ask him to just hold some object in his hands for 30 seconds, or a minute... He'd have to completely stop what he's doing, pick up the object, hold it, return it, then get his hands back on whatever he was doing before, so he can re-start. It would be hugely disruptive to his flow. This is what he is doing to your brain. He needs to understand that.

He’s a giant man child and you’re thinking of changing the way you work to baby him? If he can’t understand working on a computer then I certainly couldn’t be with someone that thick.

You don't sound very well matched. How comes he's between jobs? It seems like he may he a bit of a cock lodger...

Am sorry - this would be a sign that we are not compatible. It’s almost an insurmountable cultural difference, just work/profession-based. I’m afraid I’d also have to question the disparity of education and intellect, which no matter how much we may not like ourselves for, is very relevant. Anyone who does not understand that someone’s job in computing involves working on a computer is really not on the same intellectual level, are they?

I actually think you're in a great position to put some cast iron boundaries in place now OP, having somewhat lost your shit at him this morning. Tonight when you're both relaxed I would say something like; I didn't like what happened this morning and think we need to put something in place so it doesn't happen again. However it looks from the outside I really do need to concentrate uninterrupted when I'm working or I make mistakes/don't finish on time and I really need you to accept that that's just how my job works, even if it makes no sense to you. We basically need to behave as though I'm not here when I'm working so if I'm in my office with the door closed it's exactly the same as me being out at work and unavailable unless there's a life or death emergency. We both need to make that mental shift to me being effectively 'out at work' or I'm genuinely worried I might lose my job, or that it's going to continue to cause conflict between us and I don't want either of those things to happen.

I'm cutting him extra slack here because he's clearly having a rough time but presumably your wage is what's keeping you both afloat so he definitely needs to show more respect for your work. Hopefully you being unavailable will mean he has to redirect his energy into what he's going to do next (whether that's focusing on his recovery to get back to his old job or figuring out what he wants to do instead) so may well be positive for both of you. Being able to work without interruptions is non negotiable from now on though and he really needs to accept that.

And I wouldn't be pandering to him by scheduling regular breaks at guaranteed times (or at all) either - not unless it suited MY working practice to do so.

He's not a kid that needs picking up from nursery. Why should the OP schedule calls, breaks, length of a document to finish reading and making all the notes before it goes out of her head, etc around her idiot partner's whining need for attention?

Was it a serious brain injury?

It’s defo not you (and your brain, as per your previous post)… it’s defo him

You keep saying he's not stupid, but come on. It's impossible for the majority of people (barring a learning disability) to not understand that work is work, not just a way of ignoring other people.

I don’t think I could be with someone who doesn’t understanding what “thinking” is…

He doesn't need to understand or experience desk-based work - all he has to do is believe you and respect you.

How DARE he come in while you are listening on a call? He's behaving like a toddler or an untrained puppy.

Sorry - OP - you have been way too accommodating about this. Why have you even stopped to look at his stupid videos?? . Be angry. Be firm.

I would tell him that I am AT WORK and if he interrupts one more time he can move back out. I would mean it , too.

Move EVERYTHING out of your home office EXCEPT the items (desk, chair, files, equipment) you use for work so there's no need for anyone but you to go in there. Get a hotel-room style double-faced "Do Not Disturb" sign to hang on the outside doorknob. When it's set to "Do Not Disturb", no one knocks, calls out, or opens the door. (If you want to be disturbed in an emergency/serious situation, tell your partner that he should only approach you in a case where, if you were working away in an office, he would telephone you at work.) If there's still a lot of noise in the house distracting you, get a pair of (good) noise-cancelling headphones - a set with a mic will help you focus on calls, but any set will work all the time to keep out most noise distractions.

Block out time during the day - for example, "breaks" midmorning and midafternoon and a lunch break - and let your partner know in advance what times you'll be free and available. (Don't forget, though, that you may also need "alone time" during the work day for non-work-related things, or just to clear your head). Maybe plan lunch together. Rather than having him come in to the office at those times (or any time), you go out to him. Be consistent about that. If you have a hard start and stop time for work, that makes it easier; make sure he knows those. At all other times, you are working and are NOT available.

For context, I've telecommuted full time for over a decade and managed group of remote workers. There are very frequently issues with partners, children, teens, flatmates, pets - sometimes even persistent neighbors and extended family expecting telecommuters to be able to chat or whatever, whenever. You do your best to explain and ask for respect and cooperation and if that's too hard, you make rules and stick to them. If he can't handle this, ask him to move out.

HE DOES know that if you're making x amount of money, your employer has expectations of you that you (not him) are best placed to determine how to meet. He DOES know that people do "serious" jobs requiring deep concentration and periods of isolation from home offices - if nothing else, he saw this during COVID. He does NOT have to understand the specific needs of your job and working environment BUT if he genuinely respects you and trusts you, why can't he take your word for what YOUR job (not his) requires?

You don't explain. He's too dense to understand.

So you simply ask him to move out. If he's out of work is he even contributing financially? Or have you moved a cocklodger in?

I'd tell him as he's unable to respect your employment, that he either needs to be move back out OR he needs to be out of the house between 9am until 5pm every Monday - Friday.

You're not compatible on an intellectual level.

I agree with this 👆

Then get a lock on the office door or a wedge to put underneath it and get some headphones on. If he retires you'll have interruptions until you retire otherwise.