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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell them to F*** off and quit before the Christmas break?

217 replies

icyblast · 19/12/2025 11:59

I’ve been working full time at a nursery for 3 years now, and honestly, it’s been terrible. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to stick around this long. I think I just got too comfortable. The kids are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy that part of my job. But the management / owners? That’s a different story. It’s a chain of nurseries, and all they care about is profit. The staff are treated like shit, paid peanuts, and they act like they’re untouchable / above employment law. I could share so many stories, but I won’t bother. However, this latest incident has pushed me and a few others over the edge.

To keep it short, the owners like to donate to charity (which isn’t a bad thing), but they’re not good people, and no one sees what happens behind the scenes. They’ve organised a charity event for tomorrow that lasts 3 hours and threatened us with disciplinary action if we don’t show up. We all work Monday to Friday (that’s what our contracts say) and won’t be paid for our time tomorrow. Plus, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, so naturally, most of us have plans or are going away. They only told us on Tuesday that we were expected to attend. One of my colleagues only started 2 weeks ago (already had plans for the weekend), and while our manager let her off, she basically got a warning and was told not to let it happen again. Seriously? It’s her day off! Why shouldn’t she be able to make plans?

The thing is, if they had just asked us nicely to help out, most of us would have agreed. But they’ve given us no choice and threatened to sack us if we don’t go! Then we have to act like it’s a wonderful company and put on smiles and act happy for the parents and kids. We’re going just to avoid the hassle, but most of us are now looking for new jobs.

I talked to my partner about this, and he told me to just leave. I don’t have another job lined up yet, but I’m fully qualified and have over 10 years of experience in child care. I’m not trying to be cocky, but there are so many care jobs available right now that I doubt I’d have a hard time finding something better. AIBU to hand my notice in on Christmas Eve and enjoy my time off?

OP posts:
Teenytwo · 19/12/2025 13:47

If you are going to quit anyway I would just not turn up tomorrow, allow the disciplinary and then contact Acas, a bit of trouble for them might make them reflect on how they treat future employees. Would the hours you are there for free tomorrow put you under minimum wage?

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 19/12/2025 13:46

Have you tried talking to them about it

ASimpleLampoon · 19/12/2025 13:44

I agree with your DH, just leave. Care should never be for profit and this is why. You'll get another job no problem. Caregivers are worth their weight in gold and you deserve better.

WalkingtheWire · 19/12/2025 13:43

Another vote to take them to a tribunal. It could be constructive dismissal or unfair dismissal. Keep all written evidence that you have and make notes now about any verbal conversations you’ve had with them about this.
speak to Acas too.

Summerishere123 · 19/12/2025 13:41

Don't go in. Let them sack you. Take them to tribunal for unfair dismissal!

Skippydoodle · 19/12/2025 13:39

Don’t go, let them sack you. Then go for unfair dismissal ☺️

youarebeingsoextrarightnow · 19/12/2025 13:39

They wouldn't have a leg to stand on. Don't go, tell them you are unable to attend. Let them discipline you and then take them to the cleaners. Get some advice from ACAS.

Why don't you become a childminder?

FrenchBob · 19/12/2025 13:35

Leave. Sign up with a temp nanny agency while you look for something new.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 19/12/2025 13:35

As you said, fuck off and quit

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 19/12/2025 13:33

Personally I’d not go and if they sack you claim for unfair dismissal.

Freshstartyear25 · 19/12/2025 13:31

Don’t hand in your notice yet. I won’t go tomorrow and see what happens on Monday. If they try to sack you for not coming to work when it’s your contracted day off, let them go ahead, keep records because you’ll have a very good unfair dismissal claim. Start looking for a new job now.

SoLongLuminosity · 19/12/2025 13:30

I'd had it in now.

Partly in case of care numbers and the nice kids families, partly to finish sooner, and partly to make a stand about unpaid work.

Work Saturday unpaid? Here's my notice.

Whattodo1122 · 19/12/2025 13:29

These chain nurseries are absolutely SHOCKING and hear all the time it’s about the profit not children and staff.
Where I live you would get snapped up within about second from multiple places with your experience as such a shortage. Have a quick search to make sure there are jobs about and start applying.
I personally wouldn’t hand in my notice. Instead I would send a email apologies I can’t attend due to short notice as only heard on Tuesday and we already have plans. If they fire you pretty sure you would be able to sue for unfair dismissal for win thousands! Call ACAS for free advice and support but hoping will all work out in your favour!

Timeforanamechangeagain2 · 19/12/2025 13:28

ExtraOnions · 19/12/2025 12:26

Don’t resign

Don’t go

Let them sack you

Take them to tribunal for unfair dismissal

Yeah this. Call their bluff. Send them an email recording the fact that you won’t be attending the event on Saturday since it’s outside of your contracted hours, but it sounds like a lovely event and you wish them all the best with it.

Try to keep a record of everything. Join a Union. Bring a rep or witness to any meetings.

Nursery workers are like gold dust they have their pick of jobs round here.

Pleasegodgotosleep · 19/12/2025 13:27

Don't go tomorrow. Blast socials with what they're doing and quit!

GucciGin · 19/12/2025 13:26

Don't go tomorrow, ensure noone else does either.

Let them sack you all on Monday, appeal it with your contractual rights and then put a Employment Tribunal to ACAS. They wont have a leg to stand on.

BasilandTom · 19/12/2025 13:25

Do it and don’t look back. Apart acting in a way that seems illegal, they sound super shonky. You’ll absolutely find work and I have found the biggest way to flag to parents that it’s not all hearts and rainbows at a nursery is if they have a mass exodus of staff.

IPM · 19/12/2025 13:25

I'd sooner stick around so I can laugh when they realise they cannot take 'disciplinary action' against anyone.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 19/12/2025 13:23

Don't quit. Resign and agree to work until after Christmas.. Then tell the parents why you are leaving.. There may be no dc to teach in 2026....

SwirlingAroundSleep · 19/12/2025 13:23

icyblast · 19/12/2025 11:59

I’ve been working full time at a nursery for 3 years now, and honestly, it’s been terrible. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to stick around this long. I think I just got too comfortable. The kids are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy that part of my job. But the management / owners? That’s a different story. It’s a chain of nurseries, and all they care about is profit. The staff are treated like shit, paid peanuts, and they act like they’re untouchable / above employment law. I could share so many stories, but I won’t bother. However, this latest incident has pushed me and a few others over the edge.

To keep it short, the owners like to donate to charity (which isn’t a bad thing), but they’re not good people, and no one sees what happens behind the scenes. They’ve organised a charity event for tomorrow that lasts 3 hours and threatened us with disciplinary action if we don’t show up. We all work Monday to Friday (that’s what our contracts say) and won’t be paid for our time tomorrow. Plus, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, so naturally, most of us have plans or are going away. They only told us on Tuesday that we were expected to attend. One of my colleagues only started 2 weeks ago (already had plans for the weekend), and while our manager let her off, she basically got a warning and was told not to let it happen again. Seriously? It’s her day off! Why shouldn’t she be able to make plans?

The thing is, if they had just asked us nicely to help out, most of us would have agreed. But they’ve given us no choice and threatened to sack us if we don’t go! Then we have to act like it’s a wonderful company and put on smiles and act happy for the parents and kids. We’re going just to avoid the hassle, but most of us are now looking for new jobs.

I talked to my partner about this, and he told me to just leave. I don’t have another job lined up yet, but I’m fully qualified and have over 10 years of experience in child care. I’m not trying to be cocky, but there are so many care jobs available right now that I doubt I’d have a hard time finding something better. AIBU to hand my notice in on Christmas Eve and enjoy my time off?

I’d let them fire you and the sue for unfair dismissal (which it is and as you’ve worked for them for over 2 years you have loads more rights). Basically I would throw every legal right I have at them every time they are twats and enjoy the payout if they do eventually illegally fire me. Let other workers who have been there over 2 years know the same as you do too.

acas is your friend here or join a union sharpish.

Xkk · 19/12/2025 13:21

Absolutely do not resign. Call them bluff and let them sack you. You'll get a nice pay off if yoi take them to Court but most likely they won't because they know they are wrong.

WaryHiker · 19/12/2025 13:20

ByeByeDrinker · 19/12/2025 13:10

YABU because unless your boyfriend can financially support you or you have enough savings then you will struggle if you don't get a new job soon.

If you can afford 2-3 months without pay, then do it.

Why do people on Mumsnet do this? The poster very clearly referred to her partner. There's no need to seek to put her down in a passive aggressive way by talking about her boyfriend. It happens all the time on here and doesn't say anything good about the poster.

Jessbow · 19/12/2025 13:18

If none of you turn up they will poo themselves- and then what will they do in a weeks time when nursery reopens if they have sacked you all?

THAT wont happen!

Dont go, and dont resign either

heartsinvisiblefury · 19/12/2025 13:15

i clicked on the wrong option - I meant to click on you are being far from unreasonable ! Leave and tell them to stick their job!

Sundazie · 19/12/2025 13:14

Private nursery chains do not generally treat their staff well. Try and find an owner with one nursery or local authority. Personally I wouldn’t just quit if you need the reference/money. Also it will make it harder ratio wise for the rest of the staff. Maybe look at other child based roles in schools or local authority support roles. I found that a much better place to be.