To tell them to F*** off and quit before the Christmas break?

NavyTurtle · 23/12/2025 10:59

Hankunamatata · 19/12/2025 12:14

I wouldnt turn up and see what they do. Employment law could be interesting if they try to sack you.

This !

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2025 12:42

Yes, leave. Don’t tell them to FO, though, if you need a reference.

Gossipisgood · 22/12/2025 12:41

They can't sack you if it's not in your contract to work unpaid overtime. If they expect you to attend another event in future on your days off just say 'No sorry I have plans' If they start being awkward or threaten you reply saying 'Can you point out in my contract where it says I must give up my own, non contracted time to attend events' Tell them you have something booked, even if you haven't & will lose money if you agree to work.

Sartre · 22/12/2025 10:01

I see you didn’t reply to the thread but I hope you didn’t turn up to this event. They can’t demand you show up at an unpaid event on a non working day. There’s a huge shortage of nursery staff across the country so you won’t struggle to find a new job.

FeeBee73 · 22/12/2025 09:58

Just do it. You will find a better job in no time. Join an agency if you can't find something immediately. They are absolutely crying out for nursery staff.

Retiredandhappychappy · 21/12/2025 18:52

Would these extra hours that you are working mean that you are working below minimum wage? HMRC would be VERY interested and they don't just go through the books of your place of work but all their sites. They get a fine and you and your colleagues get back pay. Good luck

Makingadecision · 21/12/2025 17:20

Do you have legal advice as part of your home insurance? Or check with ACAS. Let them know you can’t attend and then see how they respond

ByCyanPlayer · 21/12/2025 15:30

Just quit. If you can manage financially and jobs in your industry are easy to come by then do it and enjoy Christmas. Life’s too short to put up with shit managers.

Bunny65 · 21/12/2025 14:47

icyblast · 19/12/2025 11:59

I’ve been working full time at a nursery for 3 years now, and honestly, it’s been terrible. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to stick around this long. I think I just got too comfortable. The kids are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy that part of my job. But the management / owners? That’s a different story. It’s a chain of nurseries, and all they care about is profit. The staff are treated like shit, paid peanuts, and they act like they’re untouchable / above employment law. I could share so many stories, but I won’t bother. However, this latest incident has pushed me and a few others over the edge.

To keep it short, the owners like to donate to charity (which isn’t a bad thing), but they’re not good people, and no one sees what happens behind the scenes. They’ve organised a charity event for tomorrow that lasts 3 hours and threatened us with disciplinary action if we don’t show up. We all work Monday to Friday (that’s what our contracts say) and won’t be paid for our time tomorrow. Plus, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, so naturally, most of us have plans or are going away. They only told us on Tuesday that we were expected to attend. One of my colleagues only started 2 weeks ago (already had plans for the weekend), and while our manager let her off, she basically got a warning and was told not to let it happen again. Seriously? It’s her day off! Why shouldn’t she be able to make plans?

The thing is, if they had just asked us nicely to help out, most of us would have agreed. But they’ve given us no choice and threatened to sack us if we don’t go! Then we have to act like it’s a wonderful company and put on smiles and act happy for the parents and kids. We’re going just to avoid the hassle, but most of us are now looking for new jobs.

I talked to my partner about this, and he told me to just leave. I don’t have another job lined up yet, but I’m fully qualified and have over 10 years of experience in child care. I’m not trying to be cocky, but there are so many care jobs available right now that I doubt I’d have a hard time finding something better. AIBU to hand my notice in on Christmas Eve and enjoy my time off?

The employer can’t sack you legally for not showing up on your time off. They would lose at a tribunal.

Mcoco · 21/12/2025 14:37

Go to the g.p and get a medical certificate for stress. Meanwhile look for a new job.

Laurmolonlabe · 21/12/2025 10:34

Don't turn up, when they sack (I doubt if they will, actually) you take them to an employment tribunal (you'll win) you'll get a pay out-and you need to find a new job anyway.

Allusernamesaretakendammit · 21/12/2025 08:17

Dunnocantthinkofone · 19/12/2025 12:27

100% this

Show quote history

Yes you have nothing to apologise for. Let them try and fire you and employment tribunal. Grossly unfair! Let us know how it goes, please!

PloddingAlong21 · 21/12/2025 07:34

Call their bluff. Don’t go. Wait for the fall out and then state that it’s constructive dismissal and you’ll take them to tribunal - while looking for a new job.

Having someone stand up to their bully and illegal practices will prove more than just leaving. However that’s only if you’re up-to it.

Disgusting they’d even threaten disciplinary for your free time whilst not in employment. They don’t have a leg to stand on under contract.

Hedgehogbrown · 21/12/2025 07:27

Just don't go to the event. Let your colleagues know they don't have to. Be organised. Why aren't you in a union? Why aren't you calling them up on their illegal work practices? Just putting up with it for ages and then quitting is not helping anyone else who will work there. I never understand why people don't stick up for their rights, they just moan about it. They can't sack people for not attending. They just can't do it legally.

Redragtoabull · 21/12/2025 03:07

I would resign tonight with a picture of a reindeers arse and put their dispicable 'policy' all over socials, check your contract first though. I would also contact a reputable childcare employment company to look into the legality. No-ones time should be for free, unless that person has volunteered. My time is not for free and never will be for a company that pays me for the work I do. What I choose to assist with in my own time is my choice, simply that. CF's. Merry Christmas 🎄

k1233 · 21/12/2025 00:57

Fully agree with advise them you have plans for your day off and can't go to their event. See if they sack you. You're prepared to quit without another job anyway, so outcome will be the same but you may potentially have recourse for wrongful dismissal.

Emma6cat · 20/12/2025 23:43

I worked in a nursery, so glad I never sent my children to one......

GrumpyOldWoman2 · 20/12/2025 23:33

YANBU. I’ve worked in nurseries and experienced some awful, bullying managers. It seems to be a common theme in all female environments.

BeGutsyGoldMoose · 20/12/2025 23:28

myhaggisblewup · 19/12/2025 12:28

My d worked in several nurseries, none of them that good although high fee paying.
The last one she whistle blew on after 3 weeks as staff in her room were ignoring, ill treating very young kids, food was removed if they didn't eat it all within 5 minutes of serving. She wanted to complain to the manager but the room leader was bf with her. They would sit in the staff room on their phones while d and a trainee were looking after 15 kids on their own. A couple of parents had object to CCTV in the room so it wasn't allowed.
Part of a major chain of nurseries and very expensive. D involved the relevant authorities and left before the shit hit the fan. The trainee she kept in touch with stayed on and apparently several members of staff including room and general manager were sacked. CCTV has now been installed and the staff 'are lovely with the little ones.
It's disgusting that it came to this but d did the right thing but those poor kids and the parents never knew at the time as the guilty staff were charming and lovely to the parents and carers.

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Your D definitely did the right thing and that takes courage.

Squirrelchops1 · 20/12/2025 23:24

Send a concern to CQC

Oldwmn · 20/12/2025 23:18

the80sweregreat · 19/12/2025 12:11

Just say you’re ill and don’t go.
If your not being paid I don’t understand how they can make you go along.
It’s really out of order isn’t it.

No pay, no stay. Don't 'go sick'. Tell them this is not part of your contracted hours (please God tell me you have a contract) & you are not available. Your colleagues should do the same. I don't see how they can sack you. Staggering piss taking.

salsapasta · 20/12/2025 23:17

Advice | Acas

Leave.
if you want to take it further or need advice use ACAS, they are very good, we have used them.
You should be on minimum wage for your age, and this can be clawed back through ACAS which was free when we used it.

Advice | Acas

Free advice on employment law, HR processes and good practice for workers and employers.

https://www.acas.org.uk/advice

Reddog1 · 20/12/2025 23:15

I really hope you didn’t go.

Oldwmn · 20/12/2025 23:11

icyblast · 19/12/2025 11:59

I’ve been working full time at a nursery for 3 years now, and honestly, it’s been terrible. I’m not sure how I’ve managed to stick around this long. I think I just got too comfortable. The kids are lovely, and I genuinely enjoy that part of my job. But the management / owners? That’s a different story. It’s a chain of nurseries, and all they care about is profit. The staff are treated like shit, paid peanuts, and they act like they’re untouchable / above employment law. I could share so many stories, but I won’t bother. However, this latest incident has pushed me and a few others over the edge.

To keep it short, the owners like to donate to charity (which isn’t a bad thing), but they’re not good people, and no one sees what happens behind the scenes. They’ve organised a charity event for tomorrow that lasts 3 hours and threatened us with disciplinary action if we don’t show up. We all work Monday to Friday (that’s what our contracts say) and won’t be paid for our time tomorrow. Plus, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, so naturally, most of us have plans or are going away. They only told us on Tuesday that we were expected to attend. One of my colleagues only started 2 weeks ago (already had plans for the weekend), and while our manager let her off, she basically got a warning and was told not to let it happen again. Seriously? It’s her day off! Why shouldn’t she be able to make plans?

The thing is, if they had just asked us nicely to help out, most of us would have agreed. But they’ve given us no choice and threatened to sack us if we don’t go! Then we have to act like it’s a wonderful company and put on smiles and act happy for the parents and kids. We’re going just to avoid the hassle, but most of us are now looking for new jobs.

I talked to my partner about this, and he told me to just leave. I don’t have another job lined up yet, but I’m fully qualified and have over 10 years of experience in child care. I’m not trying to be cocky, but there are so many care jobs available right now that I doubt I’d have a hard time finding something better. AIBU to hand my notice in on Christmas Eve and enjoy my time off?

Wtf???

Agapornis · 20/12/2025 21:01

Report them to HMRC.
They can't demand that you show but not pay you. You probably all get minimum wage? Unpaid hours will take you below minimum wage. HMRC will have a field day.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/pay-and-work-rights-complaints

Hopefully you can collectively agree to not show up tomorrow.