A secret Santa one (peed off)

YANBU. My secret Santa (with a £25 limit) got me a candle that was £2.50 in the sale and a crappy little teddy that was max £5

YABU to expect something decent from a secret santa worth £20. All of those gifts are abit naff really so I don't think you are an outlier. I am so glad we no longer do them at work.

I'd say they were polite. That's what you do after these things, post to say thank you.

I think you've been unreasonable to be upset about it - your taste just doesn't coincide with the taste of others. That always happens with Secret Santa, which is why they are usually pretty unsatisfying.

Personally I don't believe you can get a nice perfume for £20, that it's hard to get a scented candle for under £15 or 20 that smells good, and I buy B&H handwash for the downstairs loo because it's cheap and we use that sink when coming in from gardening so use a LOT of soap in there. But I'm picky about scented things and I know that.

You are picky about other things (mugs and socks, maybe) That's OK too. but you can't expect everyone to know that.

Thanking someone for a gift = again is basic 'polite' human nature... even if you didn't like the gift.

It's called manners.

My mum was fuming she was like why bother? How dare she get my daughters a 10p duvet sets each the silly cow 🤣

I agree, this isn’t helpful.

It wasn’t secret santa but it’s related, my dads girlfriend isn’t the biggest fan of me, nor I of her, one year she got me and my sisters duvet sets from b&m which would be fine if they weren’t awful, black and white 90’s floral, and my sisters had printed chains on it 🥲 my mum took them back, the cashier looked my mum dead in the face and said “okay that’s a 20p refund” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I avoid Secret Santa like the plague for all of the reasons outlined by everyone already! The worst one ever, was receiving a pair of glass ashtrays, complete with a 25p sticker on the bottom of each. I don't smoke and never have, and the upper limit for presents was £20. You can see why I am not a fan.

Its really not a hard concept. Its a very basic understanding human nature and peer bonding lol.

We attract to people like minded to ourselves... urgo they agree with us or more to the point don't disagree with us, this creates an echo chamber for our own feelings.

If you feel like you are the bottom of the pile in your friendship group, then personally I think that’s the thing to focus on. What can youdo to feel stronger in your own sense of worth, and find people who value you. Waiting for others to see the light rarely works, so I suppose I mean working on yourself and your personal circumstances . A nice project for 2026. Best of luck!

Whatever you do, pick Jim’s teapot and leave Ryan’s iPod! (This was done on the Office with disastrous results)

A £20 perfume is going to smell cheap so would you even want that. I would much prefer a mug and socks.

Happy to be called a snob if it means I don't get given Bayliss and Harding shite. It's cheap and naff and horribly generic.

Perhaps the person who had you didn’t paticuarly have £20 spare to did the the best with what they had 🤷‍♀️

Sounds like around £20 to me

I’d quite like the bag hook tbh!

Secret santas should be replaced by raffles. You buy a decent gift for £20. Wrap it and it goes in the pile. Each one gets a number and each person pulls a number.

you open publicly.

that way you can’t fuck any particular person over, there’s a chance you’ll get your own shit gift™️ back and it’ll look bad if your shit gift is really shite.

vote for secret Santa raffles not secret santas 🤣

I got a random children's book from our boss in the Secret Santa at work. I didn't have children - it was the 'why aliens love underpants ' book. I didn't have any interest in aliens or pants.

Anyway, I kept it and read it to my children 10 years later when I had them, and I thought of him.

Hey, OP, you’re clearly genuinely hurt by the gift exchange. I get it. The Poundland socks, the £1 chocolates, to bulk out the mug with the quote on it. (What was the quote, out of interest??)

This from your friend.

And you liked some of the other things more.

The trouble is, shit happens, and you have to learn from it. Next time you could suggest that Secret Santa is combined with the White Elephant Game (the Christmas present steal/swap game.) Then you can say in advance HEY, NO PERSONALISED STUFF!

https://www.whiteelephantrules.com/

I think it would be best to step away from this thread now. It's not doing you any good, there is very clearly other stuff going on with you and you are getting more and more wound up rather than reassured. Turn off the notifications and go and take a deep breath.

I think more people would be moaning at the fuzzy duck perfume tbh - that’s a very cheap brand. Part of Bayliss and Harding - to be honest I get their liquid soap as my “ordinary” bathroom soap but don’t think it’s a good gift.

I’m sorry but I think the things you bought sound generic than the things you received.

Generic presents really, socks, chocolate and mugs are what people gift when they don't know what to get. But personalised with your name and initials redeems it a bit. I wouldn't feel hurt by it.

They sound equivalent to what the others were getting to me. The personalised mug would definitely be over a tenner, where would you get that for less these days.

It just sounds like a matter of personal taste to me.