Page 8 | Dumb Previous House Owner... AIBU?

HelplessSoul · 19/12/2025 10:58

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:24

First of all, I am happy to be told I'm being a cowbag. :)

A bit of relevant background
We moved into this house in September 2024. We purchased the house from a single woman named *Jane (widowed) in probably her late 50s/early 60s.
About a month after moving in, we received a "final demand" in the post for a small amount she owed to O2.

She hadn't left a forwarding address, so I enquired with the estate agent who handled the sale, and Jane begrudgingly gave them "permission" to give me her new address (a house on the other side of our large town). I dutifully re-posted it and thought no more of it.
Then in about December we received another "final demand", still for O2 and the same amount. I put this one in the post to her as well.
I've also sent on Christmas cards, and various mailings from different animal charities.

Fast forward to about September this year, we received a credit card from a reputable bank in the post, for her. We kept hold of it for a couple of weeks, expecting her to get in touch when she realised her error (after all, she knows where we live!) But she never did.
At this point, I was getting fed up of being her forwarding service, cut the card in half, and posted it BACK to her bank, with a covering letter.

Fast forward again to this week. We received ANOTHER credit card for her (same bank)! We roll our eyes and put it to one side - how on earth has she not changed her address on her BANK?!
Then today we received a "PIN reminder". Her ACTUAL PIN NUMBER.

In all honesty, I feel disinclined to put her new address on it... I've done it enough times now.
Would I but a total cowbag if I just returned it "Not known at this address"? Solely because I think she's stupid?

I wouldnt bother sending back to sender etc.

I'd throw the whole lot in the fucking bin, report to the Police for fraudulent use of your address and continue opening her stuff for your own security and peace of mind.

I agree, the previous home owner is nuts for not updating her contact details.

Misanthropologie · 19/12/2025 10:57

HelpMeUnpickThis · 19/12/2025 10:54

You lost me at calling a widow “dumb” and “stupid”.

A widow is as likely to qualify as 'stupid' as anyone else. Being widowed does not automatically confer intelligence or common sense.

SapphireOpal · 19/12/2025 10:57

I have credit cards I no longer actively use that I could feasibily forget for a while to update the address on. The fact you've had a couple of bits of post for the previous owner is hardly causing you an actual problem is it. Just return it to sender and stop getting so het up about a total non problem?

NotAllowedToSayThat · 19/12/2025 10:57

This is what “no longer at this address, return to sender” is for.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/12/2025 10:57

It is not illegal to open someones mail in certain circumstances, and this is one of them.

She would not be prosecuted for admitting that she opened these letters, as she has a reasonable excuse given she suspected her address was being used fraudulently which isnt that much of a reach considering it was credit cards and debt avoidance.

Original poster

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:57

HelpMeUnpickThis · 19/12/2025 10:54

You lost me at calling a widow “dumb” and “stupid”.

Being a widow doesn't disqualify you from stupidity (unfortunately in this case).

OP posts:

Misanthropologie · 19/12/2025 10:56

grumpygrape · 19/12/2025 10:48

Not the brightest of ideas to tell the Police you've been opening other people's mail.

Show quote history

The police are not going to give a hoot about a person opening some mail that came to her house, unless there is evidence of identity theft or some other dishonest activity on her part.

purpleygrey · 19/12/2025 10:55

Just out it back in the post RTS.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 19/12/2025 10:54

You lost me at calling a widow “dumb” and “stupid”.

Theseventhmagpie · 19/12/2025 10:53

OP, it’s illegal to open someone else’s post.
Put any, unopened, post addressed to her back in the post marked “no longer at this address”.

Icantsaythis · 19/12/2025 10:53

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:32

I take your point, but, with the history of "final demands" being linked to our address because of her, I feel justified in checking the contents.

Show quote history

It is against the law and with a harsh penalty could even be prison for opening it.

Ifeel your pain but you can’t.

The builder of my old house applied for and got a credit card for his girlfriend using our house and our address. Like you I was fed up of receiving demands plus the house was brand new and she had never lived there so worried about fraud and debt associated with the house. Lloyds bank and EE didn’t take it seriously until I took it to the police and said she had never lived there (neither had he) and despite sending them 4 letters it hadn’t changed so I assumed it was fraud. I then posted on the local FB group asking what I should do as I was receiving chasing demands for bills and application for credit cards for someone who had never lived there and that I didn’t know. (I didn’t mention them by name), I explained that I had forwarded on the bills to their solicitor and their address but they still kept coming and someone posted what is the name of the bills and I replied with her name and stated I was going to the police the next day and did so.
A combination of local polite asking and the police did the trick and it stopped. Took two years though. All my mail - I paid for it to be them forwarded when I moved but contacted banks and utilities first, literally set aside two days to change my address on everything.

Sweetleftfood · 19/12/2025 10:52

Wheelskeepturning · 19/12/2025 10:50

Received another Christmas card for Jan and Janine (previous owners) yesterday. We bought the house in 2000!

We opened the secondt one 24 years ago to check for a return address, now they just go in the recycling.

Edited

This is the first year we haven't received a Christmas card for Dave from John. Feel almost a bit sad as it was always the first Christmas card to arrive in the run up to Christmas. No forwarding address of course. We moved in in 2008

Wheelskeepturning · 19/12/2025 10:50

Received another Christmas card for Jan and Janine (previous owners) yesterday. We bought the house in 2000!

We opened the secondt one 24 years ago to check for a return address, now they just go in the recycling.

Catza · 19/12/2025 10:49

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:34

Because she's still actively using my address for important shit, despite not having lived here for over a year?

Show quote history

By opening her mail, you are not stopping it from happening and you are committing an offence. I don't think you can justify it.
RTS is what you should have done from the start to stop this happening to begin with.

Baahbaahmutton · 19/12/2025 10:49

SL2924 · 19/12/2025 10:41

It’s illegal to open her mail. Doesn’t matter if you feel justified.
Dont forward on any post- return all to sender as no longer at address.

It is not unless it's with malicious intent

Cherrysoup · 19/12/2025 10:49

I had multiple bailiff letters for the previous owner of my house. I finally got on the phone to give proof that I was the new owner and also contacted the estate agent like the OP as they had handled the former owner's new house purchase so were able to give them the address, I did not send on any further post after the first few months, just do the re-direct service like I did when I moved!

Laiste · 19/12/2025 10:49

I think anyone who has moved house more than once or twice has experienced this. More than once. So many folk out there don't sort their shit out!!

Bin it all. Return to sender does fuck all.

AnSolas · 19/12/2025 10:49

Icantsaythis · 19/12/2025 10:43

Write to the bank and say she is using your address for fraud and log with the police as well give them her forwarding address. Do not forward anything on. Nothing. Return to sender.

Show quote history

The OP has no reason to suspect or proof that fraud is involved and writing to the ex-owners bank with that BS claim would be actionable.

grumpygrape · 19/12/2025 10:48

Icantsaythis · 19/12/2025 10:43

Write to the bank and say she is using your address for fraud and log with the police as well give them her forwarding address. Do not forward anything on. Nothing. Return to sender.

Show quote history

Not the brightest of ideas to tell the Police you've been opening other people's mail.

BunnyLake · 19/12/2025 10:48

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:24

First of all, I am happy to be told I'm being a cowbag. :)

A bit of relevant background
We moved into this house in September 2024. We purchased the house from a single woman named *Jane (widowed) in probably her late 50s/early 60s.
About a month after moving in, we received a "final demand" in the post for a small amount she owed to O2.

She hadn't left a forwarding address, so I enquired with the estate agent who handled the sale, and Jane begrudgingly gave them "permission" to give me her new address (a house on the other side of our large town). I dutifully re-posted it and thought no more of it.
Then in about December we received another "final demand", still for O2 and the same amount. I put this one in the post to her as well.
I've also sent on Christmas cards, and various mailings from different animal charities.

Fast forward to about September this year, we received a credit card from a reputable bank in the post, for her. We kept hold of it for a couple of weeks, expecting her to get in touch when she realised her error (after all, she knows where we live!) But she never did.
At this point, I was getting fed up of being her forwarding service, cut the card in half, and posted it BACK to her bank, with a covering letter.

Fast forward again to this week. We received ANOTHER credit card for her (same bank)! We roll our eyes and put it to one side - how on earth has she not changed her address on her BANK?!
Then today we received a "PIN reminder". Her ACTUAL PIN NUMBER.

In all honesty, I feel disinclined to put her new address on it... I've done it enough times now.
Would I but a total cowbag if I just returned it "Not known at this address"? Solely because I think she's stupid?

No you wouldn’t be. I still get some post from previous owners and I’ve been here 15 years! I used to redirect it to their new address, then I put ‘not known at this address’ and now I just bin it.

It’s against the law to open other people’s mail so don’t open any more.

grumpygrape · 19/12/2025 10:47

SL2924 · 19/12/2025 10:41

It’s illegal to open her mail. Doesn’t matter if you feel justified.
Dont forward on any post- return all to sender as no longer at address.

This

MangaKanga · 19/12/2025 10:47

You need to stop opening her post. NO LONGER AT THIS ADDRESS works wonders but it can take time.

I used to receive lots of stuff from The Times, a power company, Sainsburys, various American Catholic societies and personal-looking post for the previous owner of our house (deceased). It took two minutes to write a callous "RECIPIENT DECEASED" on the commercial ones. Charity begging ones got binned. The personal ones I'd write a gentle message on the back of the envelope. The only one I ever opened was a personal letter with no return address on the outside. In it the clearly elderly writer had included his new phone number, so I rang it with some trepidation. It turned out the two had been writing to each other every year for more than sixty years. He cried. I cried. Argh.

Baahbaahmutton · 19/12/2025 10:45

We had this for 2 years.
Return to sender did nothing, they kept coming, so I just started binning it. Also from banks!
Interestingly letters stopped about 6 months after I just binned them

Frogs88 · 19/12/2025 10:44

Stop opening her mail and just return to sender. Her bank will contact her to update her address.

Icantsaythis · 19/12/2025 10:43

zingally · 19/12/2025 10:24

First of all, I am happy to be told I'm being a cowbag. :)

A bit of relevant background
We moved into this house in September 2024. We purchased the house from a single woman named *Jane (widowed) in probably her late 50s/early 60s.
About a month after moving in, we received a "final demand" in the post for a small amount she owed to O2.

She hadn't left a forwarding address, so I enquired with the estate agent who handled the sale, and Jane begrudgingly gave them "permission" to give me her new address (a house on the other side of our large town). I dutifully re-posted it and thought no more of it.
Then in about December we received another "final demand", still for O2 and the same amount. I put this one in the post to her as well.
I've also sent on Christmas cards, and various mailings from different animal charities.

Fast forward to about September this year, we received a credit card from a reputable bank in the post, for her. We kept hold of it for a couple of weeks, expecting her to get in touch when she realised her error (after all, she knows where we live!) But she never did.
At this point, I was getting fed up of being her forwarding service, cut the card in half, and posted it BACK to her bank, with a covering letter.

Fast forward again to this week. We received ANOTHER credit card for her (same bank)! We roll our eyes and put it to one side - how on earth has she not changed her address on her BANK?!
Then today we received a "PIN reminder". Her ACTUAL PIN NUMBER.

In all honesty, I feel disinclined to put her new address on it... I've done it enough times now.
Would I but a total cowbag if I just returned it "Not known at this address"? Solely because I think she's stupid?

Write to the bank and say she is using your address for fraud and log with the police as well give them her forwarding address. Do not forward anything on. Nothing. Return to sender.