Brother saying he would never date a British girl

That falls into one of the many reasons he is probably being an idiot - women being independent is not just a English/american/australian/canandian thing at all. But this can’t be a physical attraction thing given the range of women in those countries - it has to be “cultural” - and there is a strong internet narrative around the countries he is avoiding being full of women with too “independent” a set of expectations.

To be fair, most of the internet wouldn't exist if none of us gave any thought to anyone else.

They'd also be different if it was OP who would never date a short man.

He does realise there are tons of British accents doesn't he?

This one always makes me laugh. I'm part-Asian and the majority of East Asian women I know are the opposite of submissive. Thinking about several formidable aunties who wouldn't take an ounce of shit from anyone. Also thinking of some of my British-Asian friends who, like myself, were very aware of this stereotype and went to deliberate lengths to become the opposite of it.

I think a lot of people confuse being quiet, or too bored to argue, or even not speaking English very well, with being docile and submissive. Not the case.

Each to their but imagine if this was "never date a black girl". I bet the responses would be different.

Finding accents hot is very normal. He certainly doesn't discriminate about which accents! I don't have any rule like this myself (and DP is British) but one amazing thing about dating foreign men was getting a window into a completely different culture. I think some people are just very drawn to difference rather than similarity and I don't think that's an exoticism fetish. (I'm mixed-race so I know that when I see it.)

In general I don't really get hard-and-fast rules that aren't personality-based like "I won't date British women" or "I won't date short men" because while I have my own physical preferences, there have been plenty of times when someone's come along and turned them upside down. Thinking about one bald and kind of scrawny man in particular - not remotely my type before or since but that fling was well worth it.

But everyone is entitled to have their own preferences! I do think it's crass to go around wearing your preferences like a badge of honour (like, girl no one cares that short men give you the ick; my guy, your lack of attraction to fat women is very boring). In this case though, OP asked him, apparently at length.

"This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian."
Did you miss this in the OP? What makes you think a British woman is more independent than a Norwegian or Argentinian woman? Especially as they decided to move abroad, presumably on their own? That's the opposite of dependent or submissive.

Sadly my guess is this is not about a look he likes (given British girls look all kinds of ways) and more about the fact that he perceives British/American/Canadian/Australian girls to be too “independent” and expects with a girl from a different less “independent” country that he may get the gender dynamic he wants in his relationships. Of course, if that’s what’s motivating he’s an idiot on many levels but not your responsibility to fix…

No it isn’t sexuality isn’t a preference anymore than your own eye colour is a preference.

Exactly this. Why is it that some preferences are deemed socially ok to voice, yet others not.

No one should be answerable about who they will and won't date. It's too personal. Especially when it's an admission made privately to a sibling.

I am married to a foreigner. Massive benefit being my in laws live half the world away. See them once a year (which is good as MIL is unpleasant) and have free accommodation and holidays for the summer when visiting FIL.

Well, to be fair I have always been attracted to boys than men with brown eyes, dark hair. We are all blond and blue eyed in my family so maybe it's just as simple as opposites attract.

I think it's becoming to your brother that he wants to meet someone with another cultural background because it takes more of an effort to understand each other regardless of language.

I’m the same about men. I just find something more exotic, more appealing.

I am British and also not attracted to British people. Basically feel exactly the same as your brother! Why would that be a problem to you?

His allowed to date who he wants 🤷

He likes what he likes & that’s ok!

There is a huge variability on what being a British woman is in terms of accents, appearance and attitude that I think his opinion is immature and sounds like a personal gripe and insecurity, sort of like Passport Bro's poopooing their own country's women because they can't impress them as easily as some women from backgrounds with less financial opportunities. I would think he's a misogynist and potentially a fetishist. He probably watches Pick Up Artists and incel podcasts. In any event, he's not a loss to British women and God help whoever ends up with him! As she must be quite desperate.

It’s a dating preference like I wouldn’t date someone who has been to prison 🤷‍♀️ He worded it immaturely - “I just don’t like British girls” but you’re his sister and this was an informal chat. Do you feel the same about men saying that they prefer blondes or American women finding “British” accents hot? There was a TikTok trend over the summer where African American women were swooning over Black Scottish guys’ accents.

I find it a bit weird when people have strong dating preferences about this kind of thing as I don’t have a set type myself it’s more about them as an individual. On that basis it seems bizarre to me to rule out literally millions of women from a set list of countries as if they’re one homogeneous group.

I’ve dated people from other places and it can interesting in terms of different conversation topics of reference points but at the end of the day they’re just another person. It seems quite surface level and othering to me.

Wonder if it also makes him feel more interesting and he likes to lean into some of the British men romcom stereotypes 🤷‍♀️

I agree it’s odd and there might be more to it than what he shared but who knows attraction is a very personal thing.,

Was slightly relieved to see the countries he’s dated from though and that it’s not all developing countries or those where women are generally more submissive. I think men who are vocal about not dating British women often lean that way. I’d find that much more off-putting in terms of preferences.

Dating is intrinsically discriminatory and people - yourself included most likely - narrow down their dating pool by cutting out whole groups of people based on their own preferences and generalisations.

For example, would you date someone (depending on your age) 25+ years older / younger than yourself? If not, why not? After all, I’m sure there are many different types of people in each age group and we know they’re not all the same; some will be old souls / young souls, share one’s interests, be attractive, have the same goals, be physically fit and healthy etc. Yet people will routinely cut out whole groups based solely on age yet no one feels sorry for them or think they’re prejudiced or shortsighted (most likely because the majority of us have limits on either end so it’s deemed acceptable but that still doesn’t make it any less discriminatory).

Based on this forum, I know some people won’t date those who have kids, are unemployed, aren’t a certain height, have a disability and so on. Do you think they’re being prejudiced or shortsighted? Or do you think they’re just their preferences?

Saying that he prefers to date foreign girls because he finds the accents hot is fine.

Saying he doesn’t like British girls (even you?) makes him a bit of a dick, especially given the massive range of cultural differences that exist amongst British girls. However, it’s a dating preference so still fine. I doubt he’s a massive loss to ‘British girls’.

I am married to an Asian (far east) lady. If there is a second time around (jury is out on that) I am never, never, dating someone who doesn't have a similar cultural background to me. The lack of reference points is just too vast.

Oh ffs, I would also never date anyone with the same heritage (or adjacent heritage) as me either and it’s most definitely not a fetish.

Everyone is allowed to have preferences and unless illegal, it doesn’t need to be justified or questioned by anyone else.
What’s wrong with live and let live?

While he didn’t word what he said in a politically correct, “mature” or articulate way; it was a conversation with his OWN SISTER over drinks and I’m sure we’ve all been there or do the rest of you go through life always saying everything perfectly lest you end up being dissected on a forum? It doesn’t seem like he goes around broadcasting his view to all and sundry either as even OP didn’t know till now.

Honestly some of you need to get off your high horses before you get nose bleeds.