Page 7 | Brother saying he would never date a British girl

Glambow · 2025-12-19T02:13:43+00:00

My brother is 27, we met up tonight for some drinks as we won’t see each other over Christmas, we aren’t especially close as there is a large age gap. We got onto chatting about his dating life and he said “yeah I don’t know I’d just never date a British girl”, I was confused by this so pressed a bit and he expanded saying he wouldn’t date a girl who was raised in the UK or had spent most of her life in the UK. He also said he wouldn’t date Americans, Australians or Canadians. His reasoning was “accents are hot and I just don’t like British girls”. This does appear to be true as his current girlfriend is from Argentina and his exes have been Norwegian, Italian and Armenian. AIBU to think this is a very strange preference? Part of me can’t help but feel like there is something off about it.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/12/2025 08:12

I know loads of people, including women, who find an accent attractive. It's not a fetish. It's just a variant of what humans like.

Heyhelga · 19/12/2025 08:11

Meh everyone is allowed to have their own preferences in what attracts them, but I find it odd he felt the need to broadcast his preferences to a group of friends.

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 08:11

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:57

But now you are essentially saying "I am allowed preferences but he isnt".

I know plenty of people who prefer to date outside their culture. Doesnt make them any worse than someone like you saying you wont date anyone who earns less than X amount. You cant make your own preferences sound noble and justified and then slate his.

Show quote history

It’s not just about preference, he has said that he ‘doesn’t like British girls’. In ADDITION to his understandable attraction to accents. What doesn’t he like? It can’t be about physical attraction because British girls are widely diverse. What then?

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:09

LoopingStar · 19/12/2025 06:48

It may not be the case but only wanting to date someone whose first language isn't English feels like he wants someone who'll always be slightly on the back foot, to me.

My first language isn’t English, yet I’m not feeling like I’m on the back foot at all, thank you very much.
We foreign women are not all submissive and helpless 😃

rwalker · 19/12/2025 08:07

Everyone has a preference his is accents that he finds attractive

no different than most people
we all have a traits we are attracted to weight,wealth,looks and types of personality

im not getting the judgement

Floatlikeafeather2 · 19/12/2025 08:06

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 02:50

Yes I agree, it’s fine to have a preference, but voicing it in the way the OP’s brother has makes him sound very childish. And writing off all British girls with ‘I don’t like them’ definitely has a whiff of misogyny about it. I wonder what he would have said if OP had pressed him to explain exactly what he didn’t like…

Show quote history

So it's ok to think it, as long as you don't say it?

poodledoodles · 19/12/2025 08:06

I have tended to always date men who arent British. It's not that I have any weird blanket rule or anything and I havent planned it that way but it just happened that all of my partners have been non British.

I dont particularly find the British male look attractive if I am being honest. That is not to say there are no attractive men in the UK obviously, but they just havent really appealed to me and I find male British culture quite grim.

Everyone has dating preferences 🤷‍♀️

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:04

He might be one of those guys who cant actually get a British girlfriend because they've got his number, so he has to rely on pretending to be a charmingly eccentric british gentleman with foreign chicks.

You know a bit like older guys who date young because women their own age see through their shit

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 19/12/2025 08:03

SoLongLuminosity · 19/12/2025 08:02

I don't know how to vote on this one.

If he doesn't like British girls then they're well shot of him.

I expect its more a case that he hasn't had much luck with them.

Yes.
A language barrier might mean they don’t see through him immediately

SoLongLuminosity · 19/12/2025 08:02

I don't know how to vote on this one.

If he doesn't like British girls then they're well shot of him.

I expect its more a case that he hasn't had much luck with them.

Chantzaba · 19/12/2025 08:01

Obviously its totally not ujreasonable. The opposite? Now THATVwould be absolutely unacceptable, obviously ;)

inamarina · 19/12/2025 08:00

Aimtodobetter · 19/12/2025 06:15

Sadly my guess is this is not about a look he likes (given British girls look all kinds of ways) and more about the fact that he perceives British/American/Canadian/Australian girls to be too “independent” and expects with a girl from a different less “independent” country that he may get the gender dynamic he wants in his relationships. Of course, if that’s what’s motivating he’s an idiot on many levels but not your responsibility to fix…

Do you really think a Norwegian (one of his exes) would be less independent than a British girl?

user362905 · 19/12/2025 08:00

gannett · 19/12/2025 06:54

Doesn't remotely surprise me that MN can dish it out but can't take it when suddenly they're the ones in the unwanted category.

Show quote history

Exactly. People are taking this weirdly personally.

I couldnt give a flying toss that this bloke technically wouldnt date me- who cares? I'd far rather date someone who does find me as a Brit attractive and my husband does so what does it matter? its no loss to me lol

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:57

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 07:38

The height thing is a case of physical attraction and fair enough. When people talk about professions it’s usually for practical considerations. Eg I wouldn’t like to date a chef because they work such unsociable hours. I wouldn’t date a pig farmer because of the smell etc… I also wouldn’t like to date a low earner - not because I couldn’t find them attractive, but because the discrepancy in our earnings would become problematic in choosing dates, holidays etc.

So I’m sorry but no, I don’t think any of your examples are comparable to writing off an entire nation.

Show quote history

But now you are essentially saying "I am allowed preferences but he isnt".

I know plenty of people who prefer to date outside their culture. Doesnt make them any worse than someone like you saying you wont date anyone who earns less than X amount. You cant make your own preferences sound noble and justified and then slate his.

inamarina · 19/12/2025 07:52

NameChangeElaine · 19/12/2025 03:34

Oh ffs, I would also never date anyone with the same heritage (or adjacent heritage) as me either and it’s most definitely not a fetish.

Everyone is allowed to have preferences and unless illegal, it doesn’t need to be justified or questioned by anyone else.
What’s wrong with live and let live?

While he didn’t word what he said in a politically correct, “mature” or articulate way; it was a conversation with his OWN SISTER over drinks and I’m sure we’ve all been there or do the rest of you go through life always saying everything perfectly lest you end up being dissected on a forum? It doesn’t seem like he goes around broadcasting his view to all and sundry either as even OP didn’t know till now.

Honestly some of you need to get off your high horses before you get nose bleeds.

I agree. I think it just is what it is. Spelling it out as he did might sound a bit odd and immature, but people have preferences, whether they talk about them or not.
That’s why I find the concept of “exoticism fetish” not particularly helpful, nobody can tell others who they should find attractive.
I’ve seen it with women too, where they specifically looked for a man from the UK/ Scandinavia/ the Mediterranean.

HRTQueen · 19/12/2025 07:51

I know two men who are from English nice mc backgrounds and never ever date women from same background

they both make a point of having relationships with women that are not like them as other women are so much more interesting

I find it a bit pathetic

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 19/12/2025 07:48

It’s not accents he has a preference for; it’s women who speak English as a second language as I assume he doesn’t speak Norwegian, Spanish, Italian and Armenian.

It’s interesting he specifically seeks out relationships with this immediate barrier.

inamarina · 19/12/2025 07:47

NewNameforThisPost2025 · 19/12/2025 03:27

I knew someone like this. I've known him since he was 18 and now he's 54. His relationships have been two Americans and now a French woman for the last 19 years, with whom he has a child. Basically, he was an arrogant twat who thought that British women weren't special enough for his amazing self.

Arrogant twat or just a man with certain preferences, who also seems fairly loyal judging by the number and length of his relationships?

ExamHellDoubled · 19/12/2025 07:43

I’m not saying this is your brother at all but this is a misogynistic thing I’ve seen online where men discuss how that they can get women “out of their league” by dating women from other countries. Saying essentially that British women as attractive wouldn’t look twice at them but being British gives them a novelty value to foreign girls. Some of the comments under the photos were quietly satisfying though.

beAsensible1 · 19/12/2025 07:42

Preferences don’t appear in vacuum. And of course it’s fetishisation.

OneCleverPinkFawn · 19/12/2025 07:40

It's just a preference and not like it's hurting anyone.

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 07:38

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:30

See, I dont think it is at all different. I have seen sweeping statements many many times on here about not dating certain professions, not dating men under 6 foot, etc etc You could argue that doctors/police arent all the same, men under 6 foot arent all the same.

It's no different. I am not saying I think what he is said is at all mature, its not, it comes across as very immature but its really no different from ruling out huge swathes of the population due to their height or their job title.

Show quote history

The height thing is a case of physical attraction and fair enough. When people talk about professions it’s usually for practical considerations. Eg I wouldn’t like to date a chef because they work such unsociable hours. I wouldn’t date a pig farmer because of the smell etc… I also wouldn’t like to date a low earner - not because I couldn’t find them attractive, but because the discrepancy in our earnings would become problematic in choosing dates, holidays etc.

So I’m sorry but no, I don’t think any of your examples are comparable to writing off an entire nation.

TheMotherSide · 19/12/2025 07:35

Meh. I recall being exoticised like this when I was dating. You can spot it a mile off and it's lame.

muddyford · 19/12/2025 07:31

You are allowed to find anything unattractive in a partner. But his category is pretty broad! I don't think I would date a bloke with a Birmingham -type accent, but you never know .

user362905 · 19/12/2025 07:30

ProfessionalPirate · 19/12/2025 07:19

These are very specific things though. And while it may be a bit shallow (fwiw I would think these things but probably refrain from saying them out loud) I think it’s very different from a sweeping ‘I don’t like British girls’. Britain is a vastly diverse country so what exactly is the brother disliking? I think the answer, if he ever admitted it, would probably turn out to be quite unpleasant.

Show quote history

See, I dont think it is at all different. I have seen sweeping statements many many times on here about not dating certain professions, not dating men under 6 foot, etc etc You could argue that doctors/police arent all the same, men under 6 foot arent all the same.

It's no different. I am not saying I think what he is said is at all mature, its not, it comes across as very immature but its really no different from ruling out huge swathes of the population due to their height or their job title.