Brother saying he would never date a British girl

My sister said she wouldn't date a brit again.
We are brits born and raised.
She has been with her current partner 6 years now.
He's from Romania and he's lovely.
We all have a preference.

I however dont date but I've sleep with a few men from different cultures.
Just fun to me nothing serious.
Some people are just not attractive to others.

Maybe he reads what all the British women wrote on MN?

The age gap scenario doesn’t make a great comparison from my perspective. I wouldn’t form a long-term relationship with someone 25 years older than me simply because the likelihood is that they’ll die a long time before I do. Yes, people can die at any age but probability is a thing.

I wouldn’t date someone 25 years younger because I wouldn’t get the chance. 😂 And also because they would be almost the same age as my children which would make me feel like I was being inappropriate. And I don’t think a younger man would want to end up as my carer- nor would I want him to.

So my preference for people around my own age has logical reasoning behind it.

But not all preferences have reasons or explanations- I get that. I have often been attracted to really skinny, geeky men. It’s just appealing to me but then hardly any of my boyfriends have actually fitted that description! So while it was a ‘preference’ of sorts, it certainly didn’t mean that was the only ‘type’ I would find attractive and date- far from it.

Agree.
Plus the ability to understand English being spoken in a huge variety of other accents/ dialects etc.

Have you considered the possibility that the women like the fact that your brother isn’t from their country too?

My aunt married the boy next door. Divorced. Different reasons than you mention, but the result is the same.

1. That’s why I used the word “proficient” - I wasn’t referring to idioms, cultural references or norms (which differ even between native speakers) although someone who has lived here for several years can pick them up by “osmosis” more easily than a native speaker can grammar
2. I said they excelled with a “standard” education i.e. not one adapted to support learning difficulties, just the education they missed out on the first time. I honestly don’t know why you’re finding it so hard to grasp that someone never learned to read or write because they just never went to school and no one ever taught them, not because they have learning difficulties. You do realise that back in the day parents could deregister their children from school under the guise of homeschooling and then teach them jack shit right? There were no checks and balances (I don’t think it’s much better now).
3. Yes I know full well those with learning disabilities can excel thanks, I have dyslexia and dyscalculia myself but still managed to get my PhD, several professional qualifications and start a successful business; I am also CELTA qualified but only taught in India for a year so not as experienced as you on that. I have made no comment about anyone who has learning difficulties even though you keep insisting I am; I have said 3 times now that I DID NOT work with adults with learning difficulties, they came to me after it was determined they did not have any as I am not a SEN specialist
4. I was not comparing them; previous posters have said that maybe OP’s brother preferred women who spoke English as a second language so he’d have the upper hand therefore inferring that he wouldn’t get away with things with native speakers - that is why I said that I know people who speak English as a second language more proficiently than some native speakers - which you agree with - therefore illustrating that might not be the case. The poster disagreed saying that’s never the case so I gave an example. At the end of the day it really doesn’t matter WHY a native speaker might be less proficient than someone who speaks it as a second language for the context of this thread; this isn’t a linguistics thread, it’s about OP’s brother potentially having the upper hand with a “foreigner” compared to a native speaker.

I also think, in his immaturity, he believes that telling people (anyone) this, makes them think he's complicated and sophisticated and rather superior to your run of the mill young man. At 27, he really should have grown out of that. However, if he prefers people with foreign accents, that's a preference, not a kink or a fetish. It's not harmful.

He’s just another shallow twat. Nothing more.

A native speaker with no learning difficulties is ALWAYS top level proficient. Always. They have an innate fluency that transcends grammar. Even if they say "we was gunna see if you could of borrowed us some money" - thats not a lack of proficiency. Thats just their variety of english.

well said!

Normal relationships usually

But people used to have preferences before YouTube and social media?
I remember over twenty years ago several female uni friends saying they wanted to meet a guy from a particular background, like the UK or Spain.

Just to clarify

I taught ESOL for 8 years. I met second language English speakers who had a much better grasp of grammar, punctuation and the rules of English language than the average native speaker. However, there were ALWAYS idioms and cultural references/ norms that almost all British people would know that second language speakers wouldn’t. And to compare the most elite of second language learners to English people who most likely have learning difficulties (you know it’s possible to “excel” even with a LD, right?) was ridiculous.

I read your full post.
It was ridiculous.

*sorry above message is supposed to say Brazilian not British

I haven't been rigid either- can't help what you find attractive though and blue eyes blond hair doesn't do it for me.

I don't live in the UK but I remember this topic being absolutely huge at one point among my various circles in Dublin. I think it was around 2010; guessing this was due to our age when people were in and out of relationships and figuring out what suited them. It also coincided with a huge number of Polish, British people and other nationalities moving here.

The (fairly offensive) rationale was simply that now they could pull much better looking women, there was lots of jokes about them 'punching' once they stepped outside the Irish dating pool. However there was more to it if you got past all the jokes. I remember some male friends explaining to me how intimidating and unapproachable Irish women were when they tried to speak to them on nights out, that many other nationalities would be friendly and chatty even if they weren't interested. Dublin women in particular were described as very standoffish.

Personally I think this last point I'm about to make is more exclusive to Irish people than British but I also think some nationalities are much more direct about their expectations. I think for many men that is a relief.

Sounds like OP raised the topic and her DB replied in a light hearted way. Definitely didn't merit a mumsnet post

Read my post and the post I was replying to again please; I was only explaining my original comment that the poster took issue with.

1. You’re wrong, the specific people I was referring to all had the relevant testing and had NO LEARNING DIFFICULTIES; that’s why I specifically worked with them as opposed to another professional who specialised in SEN. As I said, it was an access to education issue as opposed to a capability issue and once given a standard education, they excelled. There is a reason why I clearly said what I said in my post and as I worked in this area, I know what I’m talking about thanks.
2. The post I was replying to said I HAD NOT met anyone who spoke English as a second language more proficiently than a native speaker so I was explaining that yes I had and why; I stated a fact - which you actually agree with - but that poster said wasn’t true.

As usual, context is everything and if you read my full posts, my comment will make more sense. My whole point is to not assume that because someone speaks English as a second language that they are easier prey than a native speaker.

Indeed. Also, British men rarely ask me out anyway, I get loads and loads of attention from non British men and weirdly, not much from my own culture.

Now, is that my fault if the people most attracted to me tend not to be British, or that most of my exes have been non British? I didnt set out with a goal to only date non British men but thats how it has turned out in reality 🤷‍♀️

I’ve watched enough kdramas to know those eommas are not to be messed with 😁

First post nails it.

My DD is an unusual heritage for the UK and I worry that she will be fetishised by men when she's older.

I’m more like this too. I like familiarity and shared cultural references (even if it’s just old kids tv programmes). Hypothetically, I would still date foreign men but my preference would be familiarity and shared language/culture.

😂 As an Asian woman, reading this made me laugh. I think your friend hasn’t dated many of us. That’s a stereotype that’s so dated. It’s 2025, crazy how people still think that!