Xmas Work Dinner

You’ve probably spent more time thinking about it and moaning on here than the couple of hours needed to attend. Just go and get it done with.

To be fair, it's often the chit chat that is the most excruciating bit. What's the point, if nobody enjoys it?

I'd say just don't go - they're nearly always grim. A polite "no, thank you" will suffice.

@ChocolateCinderToffee pssssst we did 🎄🥳🍷🤣

So you had to eat a meal that wasn’t the best food ever…boo hoo.
Stay strong, you’ll be ok

Glad it went ok @Aquarius1234 in my experience events I am apprehensive or unexcited about attending often go better than anticipated. It’s nice to have some non-work related chats and can genuinely be good for building a bit of team spirit.

My DH is a business owner and spends his own time organising his company works do. Some people are appreciative but some are noticeably less so! If you don’t want to go then that’s fine but it’s a bit annoying to see people slagging work dos off in general when time, money and effort have gone into them. People who are no-shows on the day (genuine illness aside) are just wasting money & other people’s time - just say you can’t make it!

Having worked in the public sector where no Christmas meal etc was ever on offer unless you paid & arranged for it yourselves I appreciate a paid works do more than ever!

I don’t drink at work dos. I like to be able to leave whenever I want so I drive. I have zero desire to overshare or see photos the next day or whatever. There are a few sound folk at work but my boss is a total snake so I never let my guard down. The thought of meeting her socially makes me shudder and I try to keep out of her way at work even. I’ve never worked anywhere where the do is paid for. It’s always been in your own time and on your own coin. Another reason for not drinking!

I just don't go. Initially it was due to the number of time I'd pay for a meal, then hubby would be late home and I'd miss it. Realised after a couple of years I didn't miss it so stopped going due to childcare issues.

Call sick day before and day of. Migraine or similar

It's simple don't go. I don't go to work nights out. These people are colleagues and I don't want to spend my free time with them

I’m the same. I can’t be arsed with it. I find it all fake. However it’s two hours and my team want me there so I went, smiled and chatted and left once it was over (optional going for drinks in the pub but).

Unless you are going to say why "you have to go" this is a pointless post.

I think I might develop tactical Covid.

Hi @Aquarius1234 I was sad to read that you didn't feel you were allowed to opt out by your employer. As others have said, outside of your contractual hours you can't be compelled to do anything but I understand the pressure/guilt tripping they will try might feel overwhelming. You are allowed to have boundaries.

general chit-chat

“what Christmas films are you looking forward to watching” “what’s on the menu for Christmas Dinner?” Etc etc - 2 hours will fly by

Why don't you organise it next year somewhere with better food? Why don't you provide the atmosphere? Or is it easier to bitch ?

I organised a works Christmas do many years ago (food, raffle, live band, disco, decs etc). Absolute nightmare. As it covered such a wide age span people couldn't even let the DJ get on with his job, instead constantly telling him to change the music from one genre to another and so on.

Just don't go!! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just don't go. I get on well with the people I work with so go but only about half the staff go and its fine not everyone likes this sort of stuff. Its there free time so they choose how to spend it

you are pretty much forced to go

No you're not. You might feel obliged, but that's on you. Nobody can force you to attend a Christmas dinner out of hours.

I think you're making a hell of a fuss about one meal though. I'm not a massive fan of most work Christmas dinners either, but it's not actually that difficult to just eat your meal, nod and smile if you don't want to join in conversations, and you don't have to be 'friends' with colleagues to eat a meal with them.

What nonsense that it’s compulsory. When the date got put out there you just needed to say “sorry can’t make that, I have a Christmas night out with friends. Enjoy!”

Jesus christ, make an effort for the sake of the team and the company! MOST people don't love these events and would prefer to be out with their chosen friends or family yet they understand that a collective effort is required.

It's a meal so all you have to concern yourself with is choosing a seat then ask some non-invasive questions to the people sitting beside you; where do you live, do you travel in everyday, what's it like there I visited once but it's years ago, I'm from such and such place but now I live in X as that's where my DH is from, how long are you with the company etc.

There's no reason why it can't be a pleasant evening.

I am an introverted ADHD and i hate social events with people i dont know well. I have two friends I have had my whole life, and while I get on with people at work, for me there is a big line and i am usually exhausted at the end of the day as it takes a lot out of me to be social in line with work requirements! So I totally get you. I also know that to not take part, and to leave early can be frowned upon! SO it is hard. Luckily I have a child that I use as an excuse. I also prepare for them, ie try to have an easier day and think of things to talk about. You have had some rough replies on here so I think it is worth people seeing these things arent fun for everyone, and actually can cause stress!

You don't have to be friends "outside of work" - why would that be necessary? Surely you chat to people at work and can manage to have some pleasant conversation over dinner?

I don't see any colleagues outside but we had a good time and lots of laughs at our Christmas lunch.

If you really didn't to attend you should have invented a clashing engagement.