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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go on sick leave from stressful job due to infertility?

145 replies

TruthHurts10 · 18/12/2025 19:41

I’ve been at my call centre job for 6 months. It’s my first proper full-time job. Prior to that I’ve been either travelling or in uni and doing part-time jobs. It’s a car insurance company in the customer services department. I have been performing well since starting and am the top agent in my team.

I’ve lived with my partner for 3 years and we’ve been trying for a baby for a year and nothing has happened. We are only in our mid-20s. I am being investigated for endometriosis due to severe ovulation pain that has me convinced I’m dying each month. I’ve recently had a blood test that shows I have an under-active thyroid and high prolactin, both of which are essentially working as a natural contraceptive. I also have low AMH for my age which means my eggs aren’t the quality they should be. I was expecting the endometriosis as it runs in my family but since the news about my blood test results came in a week ago I have been a complete and utter wreck. I am heartbroken and devastated. My hormones are all over the place and I’m literally growing a mustache and hair in places where women shouldn’t have hair and have teenage acne, it makes me feel utterly shit and insecure, that has all happened in the last few months.

I had no annual leave left from work so I’ve been working ever since the blood results and I’m spiralling I think. I’ve been very short with customers today and as a result getting called an arsehole, bitch, being given death threats etc. Today and yesterday I’ve had a panic attack after calls. It is constant, back to back calls between 8-6:30 with only a 30 min lunch break. With Christmas coming up the customers are in financial difficulty and are being extra nasty. I had given up drinking a year ago for TTC but tonight DP is on night shift and I’ve bought a bottle of wine and binged a load of chocolate.

My GP has said that whilst there does appear to be hormonal/physical issues contributing to my infertility, my blood results have shown induction of chronic stress (particularly the high prolactin which was off the charts). I feel so so sick at the thought of going in tomorrow and I just can’t face it. I feel like I’m at the stage where one straw will break the camels back. Infertility was always my worst nightmare in life. I know there’s more to life than babies but I am one of those girls who grew up always dreaming about being a mum, looked forward to it, longed for it etc. I’m utterly broken. My job makes all the admin of infertility impossible, phone appointments from GP’s etc take months because even if I arrange a call during my break I end up stuck on a call and missing it and have to have it again a month later.

I explained all of this to DP and said I want to ask my GP to sign me off sick (with a view to looking for another job in a couple of months time), and he was really not happy and said I need to get a grip and accept we might have a long fertility journey ahead and life goes on. He also had valid concerns about us needing to save money for the baby we want to have. We have savings but we are using them for a house deposit. If I could get SSP I wouldn’t be able to continue to save but it would cover my share of the monthly bills. DP also mentioned my current company’s generous mat leave (6 months full pay) but I think that’s hardly worth thinking about if I never get to use it. DP also said if I really am on the verge of a breakdown then it’s wrong to TTC but I disagree with this as I am rational and sane, I am just stuck in one of the most miserable jobs and just recently received devastating news about my fertility. I wouldn’t be going off sick from this job so I can sit at home all day doing nothing. I’d probably take a few weeks to de-compress and engage in my hobbies (cooking, baking, getting out in the countryside and hiking) and relax, book in some of the appointments I need to etc, and then start looking for another job.

AIBU? Or do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:
Badsanta12 · 20/12/2025 20:13

TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:02

How about you get a grip and learn to read a full post and before on spouting a load of shite. I’ve worked since I was 15 whilst studying. I was doing 11 hour shifts in a care whilst doing my A-Levels and been a support worker for children with profound disabilities. But yeah I’m lazy and don’t know what it is to work! P*ss off

Edited
Show quote history

Tbf OP in the first line of your opening post you say this is your first full time job?

Original poster
TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:11

well when I do have a baby at least I know never to come back on mumsnet. Absolutely vile

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:09

logincard · 20/12/2025 20:07

Snowflake Generation. Get. A .Grip

Haha. Did you fight in the trenches in world war 1 or are you one of those post-war generation people who could buy a house and raise a family on one salary? Snowflake generation my arse

OP posts:
logincard · 20/12/2025 20:07

Snowflake Generation. Get. A .Grip

Original poster
TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:04

god there’s some absolute vipers on this website, your poor kids if you have them!

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:03

ifeelsounwell · 20/12/2025 00:21

Something isn’t adding up here.

Youre in a call centre, six months in, earning enough to cover rent and bills with £800 a month leftover?

I’ve been working 10 years and saving up intensely. HTH. Sorry if you think I don’t deserve my savings just because I don’t have a glamorous job

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthHurts10 · 20/12/2025 20:02

Nearly50omg · 20/12/2025 01:24

You’ve only worked for 6 months in your life and frankly need to get a grip! This is LIFE and work is part of life!

How about you get a grip and learn to read a full post and before on spouting a load of shite. I’ve worked since I was 15 whilst studying. I was doing 11 hour shifts in a care whilst doing my A-Levels and been a support worker for children with profound disabilities. But yeah I’m lazy and don’t know what it is to work! P*ss off

OP posts:
IwishIcouldconfess · 20/12/2025 10:31

Monsteraplants · 20/12/2025 00:14

Patronising.

Show quote history

No it isn't patronising! Its straight talking!

ifeelsounwell · 20/12/2025 09:49

sittingonabeach · 20/12/2025 09:26

@ifeelsounwell and have £20k in savings

In six months of working!

ChristmasRager · 20/12/2025 09:49

Sorry you’re suffering - I know this pain well. But honestly, with medication and potentially a bit of support down the track, you will likely be fine. You need to focus on getting your stress down and supporting yourself emotionally x

sittingonabeach · 20/12/2025 09:26

@ifeelsounwell and have £20k in savings

ExamHellDoubled · 20/12/2025 09:16

Don’t give up your job if you can possibly hang onto it. Try and keep going until Christmas and then rest up over the break. Get your medication sorted, take care of yourself and start looking for something else. You need stable health, job and home before trying for a baby, they’re lovely but also very expensive and hard work as I’m sure you know and you will need to be firing on all cylinders as a new mum.

CeciliaMars · 20/12/2025 09:11

You're very young. Sort your job situation out - it sounds like sales is not for you (and wouldn't be for a lot of people). Then when you are less stressed and in a job you like, start trying again. Good luck.

TheIceBear · 20/12/2025 09:01

As someone who has been through infertility I can see both sides to this. I worked all through my ivf and took 1 day off for egg collection that was it. I don’t think stress actually affects fertility as much as people think it does. I preferred working to take my mind off things . If I had taken time off work I would have been sitting at home ruminating about things which would be worse for me. But then again I don’t hate my job . It sounds to me like you need to look for a new job. You are only 25 and if you are having a baby you also need to focus on building your career. Quitting a job leaves gaps you need to explain in an interview. I would focus on getting a new job. If you do need to take off sick for a short while with all this going that’s ok too. You don’t have to explain why you are off sick , it’s frankly none of their business. But that’s not a long term solution to the problem.

hididdlyho · 20/12/2025 08:36

Call centre work is hell, I did it at various places for 5 years when I was starting out. It's noisy, repetitive and you're stuck at a desk without moving for 7+ hours a day. Everything is so strictly monitored and targeted. I remember a colleague once threw up all over their desk and the manager was being a dick about letting them go home. You're made to feel like cattle in a way I've not experienced in other customer service jobs.

I would sign off sick (and have in the past) and look for a different type of role. Cleaning, waitressing, retail are all jobs I would go for over call centre.

Nearly50omg · 20/12/2025 01:24

You’ve only worked for 6 months in your life and frankly need to get a grip! This is LIFE and work is part of life!

ifeelsounwell · 20/12/2025 00:21

Something isn’t adding up here.

Youre in a call centre, six months in, earning enough to cover rent and bills with £800 a month leftover?

Monsteraplants · 20/12/2025 00:15

Thyroid issues make you feel like absolute shit op, definitely keep on top of that!

Monsteraplants · 20/12/2025 00:14

SchoolrunGardener · 18/12/2025 20:12

This is exactly what is wrong with society at the moment.
Of course you shouldn’t get signed off sick.
Pull yourself together and stick it out until you can find another role you would prefer. It’s almost Christmas and you’ll have a break. Believe me, this really isn’t the most stressful job in the world (I’ve worked in call centres whilst a student). No one’s life depends on it!! Now that is a different level of stress.
You are still really young and with treatment it sounds like the chances of conceiving would be good. What would you even do if you weren’t working? That might be worse for your mental health!

Patronising.

caringcarer · 19/12/2025 23:47

Ask your GP to prescribe medication for under active thyroid. That is what is making you feel crap. Once you get that sorted you will feel better. In the meantime you won't get pregnant while your thyroid level is too low. Your job, although you might not really like it you can do it well as best performer. Concentrate on doing well at work. Unemployment has now reached 5 percent and still rising. If you get signed off sick for stress it will impact your ability to get another job because a new company will ask you about sickness absence. You have only been working for 6 months so don't have a good work history to fall back on. You are not sick, you are upset and disappointed. Medication will improve this. If you lose your job you won't be able to afford a baby.

Summercocktailsgalore · 19/12/2025 23:40

Applying for a different job sounds wise.

you are very young and both thyroid and prolactin can be treated. Modern fertility tests mean that only after a year of trying you know those levels. It can be hard when things don’t happen quickly, but does not mean with tablets for thyroid and a few more months of ttc that you can’t conceive.

What is your plan f you get pregnant? Will you need to earn money or live off your partner’s salary? You say you need SSP to contribute now. If you need to earn money to pay for your child and self, looking for a job you would do with a child seems a wise move to make now so can qualify for that company’s maternity pay,

HK04 · 19/12/2025 23:31

Londonrach1 · 19/12/2025 21:28

Op in the nicest way you only been in the job for six months...you have no legal protection before 2 years. Going on sick leave at just six months into the jobs looks really bad on your and you might find sick leave is limited financially. Make the Christmas period your job to start looking for a job that you will enjoy more.

Edited

Incorrect. Some rights you have before you are employed. Some depends on status. Others such as right not to be unfairly dismissed need 2 years service but OP already has right not to be discriminated against or to suffer automatic unfair dismissal as well as much besides.

HK04 · 19/12/2025 23:29

Charlenedickens · 19/12/2025 15:03

I think be prepared for your company to say no op. Just because a policy says supportive doesn’t mean they will, it will be down to do they have the resources to cover you for that day, they hired a full time person as that’s what they needed, so it is down to business need.

i wouldn’t conflate the two issues, hating your job and your personal life and use this as a means to get out, start looking for a new job in the new year, if this ine isn’t working for you, then 4 days a week won’t change that.

but I do want you to be realistic here and not think it’s an automatic yes, it is far from that,

Agreed. They don’t need to agree to flexible working however in your case OP there are also legit underlying medical issues so make sure you let them know it could also be a reasonable adjustment.

Londonrach1 · 19/12/2025 21:28

Op in the nicest way you only been in the job for six months...you have no legal protection before 2 years. Going on sick leave at just six months into the jobs looks really bad on your and you might find sick leave is limited financially. Make the Christmas period your job to start looking for a job that you will enjoy more.

Chattycatt · 19/12/2025 21:10

Sorry you’re having a rough time but being off work (however shit it is) will be worse. You need to be busy. As someone who has been where you are and trust me there was nothing worse in my life than not having a baby - I eventually did have a baby - but it was a long and painful road. Keeping busy helped and there were so many days I didn’t want to work but you do not want to be alone with your thoughts all the time.

Take up a hobby asap - join a fitness class. Throw yourself into things whilst you try for a baby.

You'll get through this but being off sick isn’t the answer

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