Christmas dinner invite taken back due to grown up sons hissy fit

Buy yourself some delicious festive treats and spend the day doing what you like. I wouldn't go where it was obvious I wasn't welcome.

its just a day
perhaps his mum will be there?
whatever he doesnt want you there, he has found something out about you and no longer likes you.
do you have any other family?

Would you risk your relationship with your daughter for the sake of spending a day with a partner?

I suspect the son has got reasons and either you are aware of ignoring them or are oblivious and causing upset by not picking up on it. Calling his opinion a hissy fit isn’t likely to win you over any favours either.

It’s a day where you can quietly enjoy something you like at home, alone. Have a Christmas event with your partner on another occasion. There are plenty more days coming up.

But what would you do in the DP's shoes? Risk your realtionship with your son, which is probably already fragile or son wouldn't be behaving like this.

So its not even going to be in dp house? Its his parents house and their grandson is having a fit

Drip drip drip

I would expect my DP to tell them all he's decided to have Christmas with me, no drama then, he can pop in and see them.

So many questions. It’s hard to comment on whether or not yabu until you’ve answered some of them!

28 😬 how embarrassing.
I wouldn't go where I wasn't wanted -I'd rather spend the day alone watching TV and going for a nice walk. How you move forward with being in a relationship with someone whose "kid" hates you I don't know. It's a deal breaker for me, I just couldn't be arsed with the drama.

I bet son thought he was going to GPs "as normal" and has very recently discovered that this relative stranger will be there too....and oh yes, whilst we're at it I don't much like having a stranger in my home either.

I think it highly likely this has come about because of something DP did (or didn't) do, which is why he can't explain it to OP

How is someone who is not even hosting either inviting or uninviting you??

It's not just the DS is it, it's your partner's parents too, otherwise they would have told him to pipe down. They're in it together. Not sure how your partner can win if it's 3 against 1.

I agree.

Does your partner have to spend the entire day with his son? Can he split his time between the two of you?

Depending on how long you have been together your partner really should have your back on this and if he doesn't then I would be rethinking if this is a relationship I want to invest any more time in.

With regards to Christmas day, I know it's hard but you don't have to find something to do or somewhere to go. I have had many Christmases alone before meeting dh. I got myself some nice food in and basically chilled all day. It might not be what you want or something which is familiar to you but if you are able to stop worrying that you have to find somewhere to go and plan your own day, the calmer you will feel about all of this. Hope that doesn't sound harsh it is not meant to.

“they’ve also stated that I’m no longer welcome at my partner’s home where he lives”

That’s not their decision to make - only your partner gets a say in who can come to his house. How ridiculous. Your partner should be telling the family member this.

Question - do you live with your partner or is this a boyfriend situation? If you live together are you saying that partners adult son is telling you to move out? In which case, he needs to be the one to move. If it's a boyfriend situation, presumably this means adult son is saying dad can't have you to his house? Why is adult son dictating who dad can socialise with? Does adult son own dad's house? Either way while adult son may be the catalyst for the current debacle, you have a dear partner problem here as he won't stick up for you.

Why does the son get to decide if uou can go to your partner’s house? What does DP say?

How old are you op?

it can be pretty difficult for sons/daughters if they are the same age as their parents girl/boyfriend.

also, it clearly isn’t ‘nothing’. What you mean is ‘you don’t know what the reason is’ but there will be a reason.

this is bigger than Christmas.

DP is a bit stuck in the middle really isn’t he . I would hope that he splits his day between his family and you at least if it’s not too far away .

You’ve not really given much away but I think it’s unlikely he can resolve his sons issue with you in time for Christmas .

I can see why DPs parents would side with their grandson over their sons gf

I wouldn't go uninvited to his parents house! That probably wouldn't go down well.

Are you sure this is coming from the DS?

Maybe your Boyfriend has changed his mind and is using his son as an excuse?

He may think that's less awkward than telling you he's changed his mind?

Sounds like it was an event hosted at your boyfriends parents house so not sure you can object too much if they've changed their minds.

Length of relationship?
Think I’d probably still go unless of course the ‘invitation’ is actually withdrawn, as everyone is an adult & capable of being in a room with folk they aren’t passionately in love with?

If your partner doesn’t back you on this one you should dump him - it woukd be different if his son was 5 or so but 28!!!!

Well your partner can decide who he spends xmas with and who is welcome at his home.
His decisions would then affect my decision on whether I remained in the relationship

28?! Time for the manbaby to grow up. Unless it's his house he doesn't get to say who his father has there. He can also suck up Christmas for one single day, unless there's stuff you're not telling us like you making unpleasant comments about him or his mother or something...it sounds slightly odd and like there must be another side to the story, tbh.

It’s another one of those ‘pulling teeth’ threads, I think.