Why do men hate women so much?

(Deleting as duplicate 🙄 )

I'm middle aged. I used to get abuse shouted at me by men in cars, once something thrown at me when I was 18. Also men used to approach me for my number or to make crude comments. One time I was sitting in a cafe when two strangers (blokes) decided to show me some porn. But when I reached a certain age it petered out and now it never happens (thank God!). The point is - men harass women they find attractive , or think they should find attractive... us oldies don't get the same treatment!

Well yes, which is why speaking to our male children about this crap is so important.

I have one son, one of my sisters has three and she finds it so hard to have these conversations she hasn't. And it's her oldest son that's spoken to me about how porn has affected him, (my sister's husband is dead and when he was alive he wasn't a good man before anyone asks).

I realised before my children went to secondary school, that if I didn't have the conversation, some other fucker would. So I needed to direct the conversation by starting it hard as that may be.

The stats speak for themselves about men as a sex class.

Every 3 seconds a domestic abuse incident is reported to police
93% of defendants in domestic abuse cases are male

62% of women reported fear of public spaces due to men as a sex class

1 in 4 women will be raped or assaulted by a man in their lifetime

Women change their behaviour because they fear male violence

Women will take taxi’s home even if they would prefer to walk due to safety concerns about men as a sex class.

Women are advised not to walk home with earphones in to keep themselves alert to the threat of male violence

Women will hold their keys between their fingers as a weapon because they fear men as a sex class

Women cross the road if they sense a male is walking behind them at night.

Women are often subjected to being filmed in toilets and upskirted by men as a sex class and this is a growing problem.

Approx. 3 women per week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse

98% arrested for sexual assault are male

79800 women across England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year

94% of rape survivors are women

5 in 6 women who are raped don’t report it to the police

9 in 10 girls in schools, say sexist name-calling and being sent unwanted images of a sexual nature happens to them or their peers.

MEN AS A SEX CLASS POSE A DANGER TO WOMEN .

The stats speak for themselves about men as a sex class.

Every 3 seconds a domestic abuse incident is reported to police
93% of defendants in domestic abuse cases are male

62% of women reported fear of public spaces due to men as a sex class

1 in 4 women will be raped or assaulted by a man in their lifetime

Women change their behaviour because they fear male violence

Women will take taxi’s home even if they would prefer to walk due to safety concerns about men as a sex class.

Women are advised not to walk home with earphones in to keep themselves alert to the threat of male violence

Women will hold their keys between their fingers as a weapon because they fear men as a sex class

Women cross the road if they sense a male is walking behind them at night.

Women are often subjected to being filmed in toilets and upskirted by men as a sex class and this is a growing problem.

Approx. 3 women per week die by suicide as a result of domestic abuse

98% arrested for sexual assault are male

79800 women across England and Wales are raped or sexually assaulted every year

94% of rape survivors are women

5 in 6 women who are raped don’t report it to the police

9 in 10 girls in schools, say sexist name-calling and being sent unwanted images of a sexual nature happens to them or their peers.

MEN AS A SEX CLASS POSE A DANGER TO WOMEN .

I think it’s not necessarily the parents, some of these ‘men’ have spent a large part of their formative years online viewing degrading porn and bile spouting from the likes of Andrew Tate and the president of the US! Even a member of the royal family thinks women are toys !!

I’ve found shouting loudly, “Like I give a f* what you think of me!” is helpful. I practised it at home after a few of these, so it comes out automatically. Not if you’re in an isolated situation, obviously.

I’m 55 years old and experienced this cat calling and insults since a teenager so it’s not a new thing it’s just that we didn’t have social media to share our experiences with each other. It’s always happened since the dawn of time, sadly women have never been safe when it comes to (some) men. As to why I’ve no idea. Genetics? instinct? because they can???? Who knows.

Looks like you are one of them.

So sorry OP. Some men can be absolute assholes. (98% of sexual assaults are committed by men, ONS stats)

Sorry you've had to experience that.. It's not silly to be upset by it, at the end of the day you were just minding your own business and had random strangers shouting abuse at you..

I honestly found it hurtful when I was first verbally abused.. I was a lot younger then though and unfortunately have been obese for the majority of my life so I was constantly harassed by grown up men and women who felt that I had to be told by them I was fat. After the first few years of high school I sort of desensitised to it which annoyed fellow students that had nothing better to do with themselves and so they then decided to get physically aggressive towards me.. Unluckily for them I was at a stage of my life where Id been battling multiple issues with my heath and childhood trauma and my mind had sort of walked off thenormal" reasoning so when some twit tried to trip me I threw her an uppercut and kicked her keg from under her.. Not my finest moment and I honestly have no memory of doing so I just recall massive crowd of teens shouting" Go on Fran" Safe Fran" at me afterwards and the last 2 years of high school went by without anyone starting...

I've had a few comments thrown my way since I moved to the house I'm in now as it's right by the comp so some kids try to get to me but I'm more bothered with people saying anything towards the way I walk from my disabilities but I rarely go out so I don't have to be anxious about it

Hope you're alright and know that they're the issue not you 💜xx

And as a heterosexual woman, I've had relationships with two bad men, two a bit useless and two really good men, one was my first boyfriend and one is my husband. They were and are good (still friends with my first boyfriend 35 years on)

I'm not an idiot, I see harm where is exists and I can spot a dickhead a mile off (although the two bad men I had relationships with caught me by suprise, because of my upbringing I'd never seen abusive patterns, I didn't recognise it, I didn't stay with either for long though and they were both within a short period of time, I've also taught my daughter the signs to spot).

I don't want to NAMALT, and I think that internet pornography has utterly ruined a large demographic (my youngest brother and oldest nephew have come to me for help and spoken about the harm it's done them, they don't use any more but absolutely understand how it harmed them, their relationships and their view of women). But there are good men out there, I know quite a few and it's harmful to women and men to have such a catastrophic view of men.

It causes schisms and it's important to talk about why the world we live in causes these divisions. It doesn't have to be inherent and discarding men as 'bad' will only widen this. I think men as much as women are a product of their environment and it's really important to make that environment healthy, we're not the same but we are equal and I think that's key and we need to have an open and ongoing discourse with all the men in our lives.

I find myself asking who is raising these boys that turn into the kind of men that think it’s ok to harass girls and women. We are going wrong somewhere. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you know that it’s a them issue and that you are perfect as you are. Some people are just a*s.

I absolutely guarantee my son is a 'good man', he's 19, and is on his second girlfriend. He didn't have sex with his first girlfriend, I know this because he had a long conversation with me about how far to go with his first girlfriend and how they could speak about mutual consent and what they were both happy with.

He was so concerned with not transgressing any boundaries he was almost scared of sex. They didn't have sex and he certainly would not have been happy about a non-mutual situation.

My husband is also a good man.

Neither of them use pornography, they realise how harmful it is to women. And they like women. They don't see women as lesser, and neither did my father. It wasn't until I was quite old and out in the world that I realised that men didn't see women as I thought they did, because I was brought up by a father that didn't objectify or lessen women, I always absolutely thought I was the equal of any man.

And I didn't realise the world didn't agree with me until I was well into my 20s and working in the City.

I got through my teenager years and University without ever really experiencing this (despite having a mother that took me to Greenham Common as a child), I honestly didn't realise the world was as it is. I thought men saw me as an equal until I realised that not everyone had been brought up in the same way, and they didn't! (See also Northerns, as a Northern woman in the City in the 90s I was blown away by the parochial attitudes of apparently 'well educated' people).

im Sorry that’s happened to you. People can be so mean

My DD has one shining light 15 yo male friend. He walks her home, he looks after her, he takes her to the office if she’s sick, he waits for her when she’s delayed. He’s funny, kind and interested.

He’s gay and raised by lesbians.

It’s possible for teenaged boys to be great. If they are gay, and raised by women.

Thank goodness she has him.

In my life I have been helped, while being harassed, by two stranger men. One is now my friend. Was a stranger, now a friend. Because he asked one question, “you alright?”.

Men, do as good as that bloke.

When I mention male harassment now, he looks confused. I always say, “but we met because you stood up for me”. And he assumes other men do. Poor, sad, deluded boy that he is. He just thinks men stand up. They don’t, the vast majority.

99% of sexual offenders are men

And I am bitter. I am angry and I am loud.

I am all those things for you.

I have said no to all of them. I don't want it.

Many of the women I know from my kids school days laud their male kids publicly on how well behaved they are with women. They raised them right.

I've never disabused them of their notions. But as the mother of two twenty something women, I can assure you that most of your male sons are shits.
They ALL want naked photos. Navigating that is not about walking away, but trying to convince them to wait. They ALL abuse you verbally if you say no.
Some of them ask for proof you have a boyfriend if you say no to a date.
Honestly it's disgusting.

And the middle aged male demographic is horrendous also. Over half your husbands have shagged someone from the pta alone.
They are not walking the dog daily to help you.
Their hobbies don't take that much time.
They tell the women they court that they can use these excuses as reasons they won't be found out. They will also tell the women that they're courting that you're dying or mentally unwell to elicit sympathy.

And bloody hell, the older ones are worse. Those are the ones that create epic sob stories. They are so alone. They don't know what to do. Blah blah.

And these are the men that don't rape you. These are the men who are considered good .

Now I admit, there's a possibility I live in a very sex forward male dominated area of the south east. But I doubt it. I think this is replicated everywhere.

I had two kids in different year groups so 60 couples? I know two men who didn't cheat. That I know about. I know about 4 women that did. And I'm not saying they told me, or there were rumours, I mean that I actually walked in on or saw. That many over what, 14 years?

Women can be just as nasty

Let me tell you something @growingsideway, they don't like beautiful women either.

It's not you. It's them.

Previous posters have tried to tell you that women are cruel and violent.

Maybe.

Maybe.

I used to be bullied by girls for years. It never bothered me.

Blokes that hurt my friends? No.

No.

I hated those fuckers.

My dickhead neighbour said to DH while in a heated exchange with him, your wife's old. WTF? I'm 48, and this wanker is at least 60 with a face so weather beaten from the Aussie sun. DH laughed at him and said I'm not sure you're in a position to comment.

But the misogyny with these types of males is indoctrinated.

He's been a terrible human and I can 💯 understand why his family are no longer in contact with him.

School. You mean children's behaviour? You're comparing children to fully grown men?

What this thread has shown to me, and sadly, so many of the sexual assualt and rape and abuse posts on Mumsnet, is that women are victims twice over and are still expected to carry the trauma.

You are assaulted.

You must think of how you are seen and you are judged if you report it. You carry that double assault.

You carry the weight of his female family and friends and the trauma that they feel, and society also blames you for.