Why do men hate women so much?

Not all men but always men. The way they behave is horrendous. It always seems to be worse when they’re in a group, it’s like a pack mentality. I went for a lovely meal and there was a big table of blokes over the other side. They spent the whole meal loudly commenting on women’s bodies, showing each other videos and pictures of women they presumably knew and discussing in a crude way. Adult blokes in their 30s and 40s. I’ve also had men yell stuff from cars when I’m walking along. I always pretend I can’t hear as I have my earphones in. It loses its effect if you don’t pay them any attention.

All I have to say is Gisele Pelicot. Fathers, grandfathers,husbands, firefighters, journalists, sports coach, soldiers….

DH is like a pp DH sees women as actual people. What’s depressing is he is treated as some sort of amazing outlier and I am very “lucky” etc. He basically acts like a normal woman would.

Very well said! 👏

Trouble is there aren't too many men who do get involved with parenting but thats no excuse.

However, me and my brother were bought up by our mum, no male influences at all, he wouldn't dream of shouting abuse at a woman, our mum drummed into us the importance of respect and manners.

Men who do shout abuse are usually inadequate & of low intelligence.

I'm pleased the Govt is now going to introduce anti misogyny classes into schools, we do need to counter the Andrew Tates of this world.

A pity other parties are poo hooing this idea.

If it’s any consolation op some men threw an egg at me once! And I was 19 and gorgeous!

I’d be here all day if I typed all the abuse / perving I’ve had.

Never had anything from women bar sweet compliments on my outfit. To all the men defenders I shall draw my own conclusions from 50 years lived experience 🙄🙄

We are raising them. Until about the age of about 4. After that it's a combination of societal influences, media and peers. By the time they hit their teens, their biggest influence will be the friendship group they're in. We can do our best to raise them with good values and set strong foundations, to police their access to malign influence, but frankly any mother who thinks her own influence on her growing son is more powerful than social media, other men, and his mates is highly likely deluding herself.
We all hope our sons will have the inate decency and strength of character to do what's right, but we are typically herd animals with a strong desire to fit into the culture of our peers, so much is about keeping your fingers crossed they end up in a good one.
Of that car of 5, it only took one vile active abuser to be the one with the influence and social power, a couple to egg him on as fawning behaviour, and another couple too craven to say anything in case they became victims. And there you have it, a car full of men behaving despicably. Who may have been raised well by mothers confident they're good men.

I agree with this too.

My partner of 4 years has said that being with me has completely opened his eyes because we talk about things like this.

He is also a decent man but didn't understand the difference in experience for women.

How could he? No one had told him and he can't see the world through a woman's eyes.

I've had some eye opening conversations with men over the years.

The one who described women as 'perfect ethereal beings'; the one who genuinely didn't believe women have any greater motivation for doing anything than being attractive to men; the ones who regard women as they gatekeepers of sex; the one who believed some women (not all) were 'too good' for sex or, as he put it, "Too good to have that done to them,'; the one who believed women who challenged poor behaviour were just jealous that they weren't the recipient...

But men don't believe these things because it's inherent in them. They've learnt it from somewhere - films and media in general, home.

Look at the way men and women are represented in films.

Boys learn from a young age what men and women 'should' be. Just as girls do. And as many women perpetuate 'boys will be boys' as men do. Even on here, women's poor choices in men or what they expect/will accept in a relationship is often put down to 'socialisation' and so a woman isn't responsible for her choice. And it's true - it is down to socialisation. But that's equally true for men.

Society as a whole is responsible for this.

It could change it. But it won't.

If it’s any consolation you also get abuse if you are young / conventionally attractive. Proving 1. It’s not personal 2. Women can’t escape male abuse whatever shape they are

My recently retired former primary school teacher happily married for decades mum was walking down the road and a car full of men shouted “slag” at her. It was so awful it was actually funny.

And our daughter too before anyone asks!!

Quite

My husband spends a lot of time with our son, just chatting.

And he parented our children as much as I did.

Well, one of the reasons is that it’s an issue men don’t get involved in. Men need to step up and parent their children. How can boys grow up to be good men if they aren’t parented by good men?

Oh I completely agree with that. But the OP was asking specifically about men who shout things at women in the street or post things online.

I suppose all we can do on an individual level is ensure, to the best of our ability, that the men we choose to have in our lives and the men we choose to raise with them are better.

I do think there are good men but I think they are still often just blind to the experiences of being female in this world. DH and I have talked about it and he was surprised at the level of aggression I’ve got for just turning down a drink for example. It wouldn’t occur to him to behave like that and he wouldn’t hang out with men who behave like that. He really doesn’t get how common it is for women to be sexually harassed, belittled and insulted.

He is a decent man who treats women decently (not just ones he finds attractive) he speaks to all the school mums in exactly the same way, he has work friends who are female of all different appearances etc, he pulls his weight with kids and home. They do exist but if I’m being honest he is literally the only man I have met who is just like that. A significant minority of men are actively hostile to women. He still hadn’t realised how fucking awfully women are treated even though he’s been around men all his life.

So yeah there are good men but I still think they are blind.

You shouldn't have felt humiliated, they were the people who should have felt embarrassed. If that had happened to me I would have thought what was wrong with them, not me.

Many men don’t understand that their feelings are a them-problem, so they throw them back at whatever woman evoked them, with rage.

Absolutely, 100%.

I once picked up a dress from a dry cleaners for an event I was going to and was really excited about, walking down a busy road and a van drove past and the passenger spat at me. Hit me on the side of my head. They then drove off laughing.
I felt so humiliated and embarrassed and upset by it that I didn't end up going to the event.
I don't know why some men are like this, I guess it's because they are inadequate.

But not shouting things out of windows doesn’t automatically mean you’re not sexist to any degree. It just means you don’t shout things out of windows.

Agreed.

These men feel prevalent because the decent men aren't shouting anything out of windows.

Think of the number of men you encounter in daily life who don't do this. The millions of men who aren't posting shit about women online.

The shit men force themselves into women's worlds by making a nuisance of themselves.

I had a boyfriend years ago who called me fat. I had a 24 inch waist and was 8 stone. And it wasn't just him. Random men in the street would tell me I was fat or ugly when I wasn't either.

They do it because some men genuinely believe that women only exist for their pleasure. They have no concept of women having inner worlds, lives, dreams or ambitions beyond attracting men and appealing to men. So when they don't find a woman attractive personally, they feel affronted that that woman has existed in their field of vision without being of any benefit to them.

Equally, they do it to attractive women who they conclude (through their own insecurities or inadequacies) wouldn't be interested in them. Then they are affronted that that woman has existed in their field of vision without considering them as a sexual partner even when it's a random woman just living her life who has passed them by in the street. So they decide to bring her down a peg or two by telling her she's fat/ugly and no one would want to shag her anyway.

These are the men you see posting online. Usually criticising a woman for her appearance (too thin, too fat, too muscular, too toned) or her achievements and saying things like, "Men don't find abs attractive," or, "Men aren't interested in women with PhDs."

Like every time women do anything, their only consideration should be, "Will men find this attractive?"

In reality, the men who do this are telling you everything about their own insecurities and sense of inadequacy and not saying anything at all about you.

See, I never got this, I have joked in the past, 'Am I not abusable???'

Never.

I possibly look dangerous, (not saying anyone who gets this from men is in anyway deserving of it or asking for it), I'm tall and angular & used to catwalk model. I think I have an anti-dickhead vibe, I'm not generally liked by men, probably because I've got no tits.

Mebbe that saved me.

And have been called 'manly' by more than one of the exes of my boyfriends.

I actually don’t know many decent men. There’s men in my life I love - my family members etc, but thinking critically about them, theyre not ‘one of the good ones’.

Some men you meet are better at hiding it but scratch the surface and they’re still misogynists. Men at work will happily talk over women but if a man speaks he pays attention etc. Also There’s a reason why most women do more housework/childcare.

Ultimately I just don’t think men see women as equal to them. I think it’s ingrained in the way we live and I feel like we’re going backwards. Andrew Tate etc making it more socially acceptable in certain groups to be out and out misogynist

At 42, I have experienced 31 years of street harassment. Not one episode was from a woman. No, not all men, but so many that it might as well be, especially after Gisele Pellicot. I have a rough theory that it is because for only the last few generations, we don’t ‘need’ them any more. Women have their own money (think of things like needing a male signature to have a bank account, women like my grandmother having to give up work when she married). We own our own property. We live independently. Being a single mum isn’t stigmatised like it used to be. Being a lesbian isn’t stigmatised like it used to be. Being single isn’t pitiful. Women choose to be ‘cat ladies’ in peaceful homes where they’re not cleaning male piss off the toilet. We can date or not date. I think a lot of men feel done out of an anachronistic 1950s household/work life where they were the authorities and priorities simply because they are males. They have to earn/be worthy of women partners/sex now. Then you add in the easy availability of graphic and degrading pornography... I think us just going around existing without needing or pandering to them creates a feeling of inferiority. Many men don’t understand that their feelings are a them-problem, so they throw them back at whatever woman evoked them, with rage. Like toddlers. Their insult is usually to imply that we aren’t desirable to them, when the actual reality is that many times they’re not even on our radar or in our league. Inferior feeling. ‘Fat bitch.’

men often hate women because we are what they want and they can’t get easy access to us like they see online in porn ( for us I mean easy sex for them )

women often don’t really need men anymore as such and they absolutely hate this even if they can’t articulate why they hate it

. In porn they see women meeting a bloke a having sex within mins 😂 they think that this is how it should be bless them and when it’s not they get angry and aggressive towards women because even the “ not so attractive “ women who the men think are beneath them won’t do that for them.

so they want to hurt and humiliate them in someway to feel big and manly

In my opinion and experience the majority of men are sex obsessed and have a fairly low opinion of women - most are just smart enough to hide it enough in order to get sex

( unlike the the ones in the op post )

guys who did that to the OP are bullies
they are the sort that will pick on someone who is weaker than them man or women to make them feel better

they wouldn’t dream of saying anything like that to a bloke who is bigger and looks like he would fight back and give then a good going over