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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel a bit gutted it will be 2027 before I get the house to myself

127 replies

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 11:58

I work two days a week; these are the days DH wfh.

I have a two year old who goes to nursery on my working days. The rest of the week she’s obviously with me.

I have realised I won’t therefore have the house to myself until 2027, when my two year old starts school!

I don’t know why it’s suddenly hit me! Probably because I saw a day for school aged children advertised on 2nd January. My toddler goes to nursery but I won’t be back until the Monday so I thought I could have a day ‘off’ but if DH is there I’ll just feel I’m in the way.

OP posts:
Fern95 · 18/12/2025 16:22

I think the people saying pathetic about not taking two kids out by themselves are forgetting the ease totally depends on where you live! We're in London so there's always free indoor stuff to do with kids. I imagine taking two children out all day is a bit more difficult in a small town with two parks and a baby group in the library once a week for example. Especially considering limited budget/public transport and weather right now. I have 6 and 2 year olds and I take them out every day (home ed the eldest) but it isn't fun or pleasant every day, often it's hard work and I'd just like to go home!

Anywherebuthere · 18/12/2025 15:38

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 12:35

This is the problem. I’m a teacher, so in school holidays DD could attend for two days a week still but then I have DS at home! When they were both in nursery I did get a small amount of respite in school holidays at least, but now that’s gone and boy I’m feeling it.

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Are there any holiday clubs running where you could send DS?

pinkspeakers · 18/12/2025 15:29

I'm sorry about my previous answer, it wasn't helpful, and just my first instinctive response.

To be honest, I found it quite hard to take my two out together at certain ages. I didn't actually spend much time with them alone at all in fact (and neither did DH). We preferred to spend time with them together at weekends (becuase it was easier) and get our break at work. There were certainly times when I was relieved to go back to work on Monday! We survived that ok, but it sounds as if you have had enough. Is there anyone around who could spend some time with you or DH and the kids and give the other parent a bit of escape time?

DysmalRadius · 18/12/2025 15:13

Does your husband want a day at home too? Would the luxury of a day St home not be worth the stress of taking the kids out? Just wondering if a trade-off could work?

Eta - wow, that really escalated while I was typing. Hope you're OK OP, it will get better.

Mt563 · 18/12/2025 15:12

You said you can't imagine your husband taking them unless absolutely necessary.

From your replies on this thread, it sounds like you're near the end of your tether. I'd suggest finding a way to make this day alone happen soon, before it's "absolutely necessary" due to you snapping at the kids or completely breaking down.

Honestly, preemptive care is so much better and easier than trying to patch things up once you're completely burnt out.

Your husband can work from a cafe or co-working space maybe, or take the kids out. But you can't continue like this, it's not fun ir fair for anyone.

Then try get some set time for your things in the new year so you feel less stressed and like you are only ever mum

MumoftwoNC · 18/12/2025 15:07

It's not that we are saying you're useless, but honestly you are being unnecessarily martyrish and that's not a good mindset. It's not good for your boys to have such low expectations of them "being arseholes together". Of course it'll be possible to have a good time at the soft play with the pair of them. If you keep resorting to dividing and conquering, they'll never get the hang of playing together nicely.

Just open your mind to the possibility that you can make your situation better and easier now, rather than being a martyr for over a year

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:05

SO NOW WE BAVE ESTABLISHED EVERYONE ELSE WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD AND A TWO YEAR OLD is out there living their best life and if you aren’t you’re a pathetic sack of shit and yes poster earlier in the thread I am well aware I AM THE ONLY ONE SAYING THAT let’s move on.

merry Christmas.

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Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:03

FUCKING useless

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Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:03

Useless absolutely fucking useless

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Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:03

They still wake up, one does, over and over and nothing seems to work. A decent parent would have sorted this by now

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Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:02

Can’t cope with own kids. What the fuck is wrong with you

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Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:02

I am an ugly useless piece of shit

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Coalday · 18/12/2025 15:01

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:29

A double buggy, for a five year old? Really? I’m not trying to sound argumentative but I can’t imagine ds in a buggy.

It is hard and it’s just easier to try to divide and conquer a bit at the moment. I’m sure it will get easier.

Probably a bit too late, you are right.
But definitely they are great when children are younger.
They are contained and entertained at the same time.
This time will pass OP.
Mind yourself.

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 15:00

We’re both useless pieces of shits and everyone would be better without us, especially me.

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 18/12/2025 14:50

Good lord, you and DH both sound like such wet blankets. They're 5 and 2. If they're acting like little arseholes do some parenting. Imagine how hard the teenage years will be if they're this awful now.

pinkspeakers · 18/12/2025 14:49

Meh. People (male or female) who work outside the house and live with multiple other people rarely have the house to themselves. Not sure why it is something you would expect.

gerispringer · 18/12/2025 14:47

Perhaps your DH could take a day and work in a workspace cafe or some such.

gerispringer · 18/12/2025 14:47

Perhaps your DH could take a day and work in a workspace cafe or some such.

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:46

I was until I posted on here! Xmas Confused 😂

OP posts:
SparkleSpriteDust · 18/12/2025 14:45

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:42

@SparkleSpriteDust I don’t care whether it’s usual or not. In any case, he does take them out, just generally not together. Weekends are busy and we generally take one child each.

I don’t care if that makes us the biggest bunch of weirdos on MN. Either accept it or stop coming back to tell me my DH is pathetic. Seriously, can we all back the fuck off?

You sound so lovely and full of Christmas goodwill, OP! 😀

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:42

@SparkleSpriteDust I don’t care whether it’s usual or not. In any case, he does take them out, just generally not together. Weekends are busy and we generally take one child each.

I don’t care if that makes us the biggest bunch of weirdos on MN. Either accept it or stop coming back to tell me my DH is pathetic. Seriously, can we all back the fuck off?

OP posts:
SparkleSpriteDust · 18/12/2025 14:38

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:36

I really wish I hadn’t posted. I feel attacked from all sides here, to be honest. I didn’t realise I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with end of term stuff until this thread.

DH isn’t going to be going out with the kids on his own unless it can’t be helped. Same for me. It just isn’t an enjoyable experience for anybody. I don’t get why people can’t just accept that.

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If you don't see how highly unusual it is for a father not to take his kids out on his own then no-one can help you.

Amazed your family and friends don't speak to him about it.

Very, very weird.

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:36

SparkleSpriteDust · 18/12/2025 14:33

No, they are not and even if they are - you are the parents.

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I really wish I hadn’t posted. I feel attacked from all sides here, to be honest. I didn’t realise I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with end of term stuff until this thread.

DH isn’t going to be going out with the kids on his own unless it can’t be helped. Same for me. It just isn’t an enjoyable experience for anybody. I don’t get why people can’t just accept that.

OP posts:
SparkleSpriteDust · 18/12/2025 14:33

chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:28

I have given the reason - the kids are arseholes together 😂

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No, they are not and even if they are - you are the parents.

Original poster
chocolatesprinklesonmylatte · 18/12/2025 14:29

A double buggy, for a five year old? Really? I’m not trying to sound argumentative but I can’t imagine ds in a buggy.

It is hard and it’s just easier to try to divide and conquer a bit at the moment. I’m sure it will get easier.

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