To think DS is gay and ‘friend’ is BF

Let your son figure this out for himself and stay the fuck out of it. You don’t want to “humiliate” him but aren’t homophobic? Eeesh. Kids look at weird stuff online all the time. Maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s figuring it out, maybe he isn’t ANYTHING yet - as most kids his age don’t really have “sexuality” and “attraction” in the same way an actual teenager would.

In short, back the fuck off.

WTF? Like he might 'catch gay' from him?!

They could be up to no good or more likely just curious.

Most kids at that age are starting to get curious about sex and relationships etc and being gay is an extra level of curiosity.
I remember not understanding how they have sex etc.

Me and my best friend were as close as you could get but there was never anything more than friendship.

I think it’s odd that you’ve jumped to this conclusion.

He’s 10!

Get him away from the other boy as he might be influencing him.

I would just assume they are being curious. I would also have a direct conversation with my DS about it and let him know its normal to be curious, im here for questions and id make sure the internet search settings werent going to throw up anything x-rated fo his age!

Sorry i meant to say i would agree!

She doesn't have to label, however 10 is also too young to be searching for these kinds of things online, as it's so easy to go from one thing to another, and before you know it you're viewing something really inappropriate. This is the discussion you need, OP, rather than one about his sexuality.

Curiosity at that age. It may not even be your son, but his mate taking advantage of open internet. It could be a clumsy search and they didn't add the word girls. Or they could be looking at 6 packs as they are planning gym life for when they want to go - my lads couldn't wait to turn old enough to go to the gym and use equipment. Could be research for the playground hot topics. One of my lads had a lot of freedom at a young age with social media due to lockdown and omg the weird and wonderful things they chatted about! And such a wide range - from very innocent to those very cheeky and knew stuff they really shouldn't and liked to share shock factor.

Probably just curious, I mean they are only 10. I don't think this means he is gay and you asking him outright will cause you no end of problems. I always made it clear to my DS's growing up that you can't help who you fall in love with, be it a man or a woman, and that it didn't matter, they also always knew they could tell me anything (and they did and they do now, too much sometimes 😂)

I would be checking your internet settings and putting some age restriction on and his phone if he has one, searches like that, although innocent, could lead to not so innocent sites.

In primary school i had a male friend(i am male also), I would physically hump him when he would come over to my house after school as if he was my gf and i was maybe 7/8. By 18 i had a bf already and I am in my late 30s now and fully who I am(Bi)

do not let anyone tell you do not think so because he is 10.

He might be gay. He might not. My friend and I used to look through the Kays and Great Universal catalogues (🤣🤣) for pictures of women in bras and bikinis and in the shower. Neither of us were gay. It can just be curiosity about how you see your own body evolving. We definitely would have searched the internet for girls kissing, if it had existed!

My eldest son told me he was gay when he was 15. He said he had no idea until he was about 14. He said he didn’t have any interest in girls but that it took him a while to realise that he was actually interested in boys. I didn’t have any weird intuition about it so it came as a complete surprise.

I wouldn’t say a word or even hint at it. Just leave him be. If he is gay, he will tell you some day when he’s ready.

Why wouldn't you agree?

He's ten! Get a grip.

I would have a chat about Internet safety. I wouldn't mention anything else. He could be looking up these things out of curiosity because he is interested in boys or because he wants to learn as a boy what to do (kissing wise) and be like (and) for girls . There's not enough info to go on . Do the safety talk but don't get hung up on the content of the searches. I'd say you're overthinking it.

Why do you assume they're gay? That wouldn't be my immediate assumption. If they wanted to kiss they'd probably just do so.

People google search all sorts of things. Kids are interested in all sorts of sexuality. Kids have all sorts of conversations with their mates. Especially at his age. Please don't draw any hasty conclusions. If you say that, he may feel unable to continue a perfectly unremarkable friendship out of embarrassment. He's at an age when it's normal to have some thoughts that his mum doesn't know about.

So he is your first boy.

Boys will look at all sorts of things, these are of sexual nature but if they had been looking up some other topic you wouldn't have given it that meaning. Homosexuality will have been a topic in the playground years ago, they will have covered it in class by this point.

Don't read in to it. Don't raise that you know. Do ensure that you have good parental controls on all devices (it would not take long from some of those searches to end up on something explicit).

This thread is interesting to me because my son is a similar age and my sister is gay so he's just grown up with that being normal and accepted that auntie x has a girlfriend and they kiss etc.. (not snogging in front of him but he's just witnessed them kissing goodbye or whatever) maybe if you have a 10 year old who has googled men kissing to see if it really exists/laugh then a conversation is needed to frame it as normal. I couldn't not chat to my son about this but would come at it from "why have you googled this?" And have a chat. I wouldn't ask "are you gay?" At 10. But let him know it would be ok if he was, as a grown up. And chat about what children should be looking at on the Internet.
I really doubt the friend is a boyfriend but you need to know why those things were googled and address it.

“The search time was when his friend was over so they were looking at it together”.

My concern would be about my child being free to view whatever your son was free to do on your family laptop whilst at your house. Would you approach their parents asking if their son is gay?! Perhaps you need to be looking at what your son has access to age 10, you have a responsibility to his friends when they’re in your home.

What on earth do you mean? If he's a consenting adult then it's not really any of your business. If he is a child under your care then you absolutely need to keep him safe as a priority and part of this will unfortunately be having conversations about what you found. If he is old enough to search for these things then he's absolutely old enough to have an age-appropriate conversation about them.

Having a word about what they're looking at and age-appropriacy is a good idea, as @SarahAndQuack has kind of suggested, but trust me, at that age and for a while yet many boys (🙋) will be experimenting with their feelings, preferences etc in all sorts of ways; in that regard, just leave them to it

Assuming all devices have safety locks on adult content and porn, Op.

Aren’t you more concerned about the fact they could be looking at porn at such young age

Far too young to be approaching him on the topic

I thought boys were gross when I was 10. That didn't mean I was a lesbian. By my late teens through my 30s I liked them a lot. Now I'm in my 50s I'm back to not liking them again😡