To think DS is gay and ‘friend’ is BF

Get your mind out of the gutter.

I think there is a real worry that children might innocently search for something like 'boys kissing' and come across something pornographic. That is why most of us think about internet safety and talk to our children about it, and if the OP hasn't done that, now would be a good time (as I said).

But how on earth you think a ten year old searching for 'boys kissing' is the same as looking for porn, or even for 'images of adults kissing,' I do not know.

I would be worried about him accessing porn.

I think you need to tighten your internet safety settings.

We don’t allow devices in bedrooms and definitely not during a play date.

You need to rethink how devices can be used safely in your home.

Your ten year olds boringly and casually mention searching for porn? And searching for images of adults kissing? And searching for images of adult’s stomachs? At ten? And you just sit there like oh yeah it’s just kids being kids?

My son is gay. At this stage your son is ten, so you do not need to do much. Be very clear that there is nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian or trans and if possible make sure he has the opportunity to meet people who are living very positive lives, but just happen to be gay. At this age though things can change so nothing is definite. My DS would however say he realised he was gay when quite small, i.e. younger than the age your son is at now.

leave your child alone. It's quite common for children to indulge with some sex play with other children of the same sex. They're imitating adults or whaetver, but can't imagine, doing it with someone of the opposite sex yet.

Finding your sexuality is something that happens from age 10/11 all the way to age 18 and older. Feelings develop. I definitely wouldn't quiz him about it - just let him go on his journey and answer any questions he asks honestly. He might end up being gay or bisexual, he might not, but it's not something that he probably knows himself yet.

My younger DS is gay - he told me after his first term at uni, although DH and I were pretty sure for years before that. Please don’t quiz him about it - it’s very intrusive and quite rude. He will tell you whatever he wants to tell you when he’s good and ready

Op just talk to him.

He's only 10, no need to label him yet. Just make sure you have adult content blocked on your internet.

Except a dictionary wouldn't expose you to porn at aged 10.

I expect that it is no more than curiosity. It is the natural progression from when we looked up 'naughty ' words in the dictionary (like 'bum')!

Just make sure that the older boy isn't grooming him.

They are 10/11! Its not about being gay imo, but time to have a light chat about kissing, friendships and body image. Too young to label them as any sexuality. If the friendship seems too intense, chat about healthy friendships too. Kids that age are way too young to have any boyfriends/girlfriends.

At that age, it’s possible his friend did it as a wind up deliberately so it would show up in the search history. Like when I was younger we used to change each other’s msn names or facebook statuses.

Just because your son is curious or possibly gay it doesn't mean his best mate is his sexual partner. Or maybe they do fancy eachother but I'm sure it's all pretty innocent stuff at that age.

You do know there's nothing wrong with being gay, don't you?

My DS is gay and he only told me when I raised concerns about him having a sleepover at an older girls house with a couple of other girls and without her parents being home, when he was 14. 🤦🏻‍♀️

To be fair, I already guessed he was probably gay but it was good to have it confirmed.

I think if there’s a chance they’re searching for porn online, you need to have a ‘safe sex’ conversation with him and if he is gay, he might choose to tell you at this point.

However, I wouldn’t force a response at this age as he’s only 10.

I knew for years my son was gay before he finally told me when he was 19. This could just be a phase so I wouldn’t read too much into it. I’d be having a talk about internet porn without being too specific because ten is too young to be looking for any kind. Let him see you have a gay friendly household and if he is gay he’ll tell you when he’s ready.

Terrible advice. And the reason so may kids are messed up, because their parents, who should be their "carers", back off and let them do what they want

just say to him in general terms "I dont want you looking at any grown up stuff online becuase I will know if you have" and thats enough for now.

When I was 10 we didn’t have access to the internet, instead I found some porn mags in my dads garage. Me and my brother looked at them because we were curious. Maybe they were just curious, or maybe they are gay. I think at that age most kids are curious and they will have been talking about these things at school.

I wouldn’t mention anything but I would make sure he can’t access porn at home….or on his phone if he has one.

Could it be your husband actually looking at this and not your son? Maybe he thought he could get away with it ... just something to think about ?

They’re in the cusp of puberty and just about to be flooded with hormones. Are they gay? Who knows, maybe, maybe not. However, I’m going to take a slightly different tack than anyone else so far- If they are, and they stay close, it will be good for them to have someone they trust who is their own age as they get older. Because they’re in such a minority young gay men often don’t have the same early teen relationship opportunities and learning experiences as their straight peers, and some may get themselves into dangerous or exploitative situations with older men.
Keep an eye on them, make sure your DS at least is not accessing content he shouldn’t, other than that just let them develop into whatever sort of young men they will become.

This is spot on. Yes it's raised questions for you about his sexuality but probably more pressing is the safety and exposure of him and his friend on the Internet, without saying what you saw specifically I would remind him that you check Internet searches to keep him safe and you want to remind him to be very careful about what he looks at because the Internet can be dangerous, scary and misleading although be clear it's 100% normal to be curious about all types of things, we all are as humans and there's no shame in starting to wonder about grown up stuff - it's part of growing but if he has questions he can ask you and you can direct him towards safe and appropriate material for answers he might want or give him some answers if he's comfortable with that.

He’s a young child probably curious and exploring the internet.

the main thing to do is check your internet security and have a chat about safety online.

He might be gay he might not.

What difference would it make if he was?

What would you do differently if he was?

Not let him be alone with his friend?

Not let his friend in his bedroom?