To think DS is gay and ‘friend’ is BF

Say your son has a crush on another boy...it wouldn't mean he was gay. It

There's something a bit off about your questions, Op. I don't get it. Are you given to anxiety?

Wait for him to tell you.

Have a check of parental controls on devices

Have a chat with him about appropriate use of Internet

It could just be curiosity. It could be a sign he is gay or bi. Try and leave the possibility open when you're chatting - eg don't say things like "with your future girlfriend" or "wife" but say partner instead.

Because they dared each other or thought it was funny, they're ten, then year olds are weird and curious and unpredictable.
Don't read too much into it. To be honest it's not any of your business if he is gay so you can't be forcing he tell you just to satisfy your curiosity.

Loads of boys go through various stages when they are just discovering their sexuality.

Labelling a 10 year old as gay is crazy.

I would just ignore it unless you are worried about him being exploited somehow or his health or happiness.

Probably just curious. At school they will be being taught about relationships and part of this curriculum is same sex relationships. So they're googling. I do this now when people use terms I don't know. Doesn't mean I am any of the things I google. But I would make sure you have age appropriate controls on whatever device he is using.

Anyone else living with you? Husband? Daughter? Are you sure it’s your son?

My DC is close to the end of primary and is always asking if he has 'abs'. I think this in itself is a big obsession with boys and my main concern is not his sexuality but his body image.

He is ten years old. TEN.

It doesn't matter whether he likes girls or boys. He doesn't need a label, and he doesn't need the distraction or potential heartbreak that comes with a romantic relationship until he is at college/university.

This is a very weird op.

He’s really young to decide & if he his, he’ll tell you. Put some filters in the laptop in the meantime…

God I was expecting you to say he was 16 or something, not 10! Leave it alone.

This was my instant first thought when I saw the original post. And as soon as I read "Do I tell DH?" I wondered if DH was one of the mouthy seemingly homophobic types who are hiding a big secret behind a wall of protest.

It literally doesn't matter at all. Why are you so hung up on it?

Have the same conversation that you would have if he were a daughter searching these terms, or if he were searching for images of female bodies. Make sure you're always talking about sex, bodies, relationships, safety, consent etc (as we all should be with all of our children) so there's never a taboo and he's armed with knowledge and confidence, and then just forget about it.

What?? I had huge crushes on loads of popstars in Y5/6. Won't say who because I will age myself 😁 Sexuality is complex and often fluid, but definitely by age 10 children are generally developing theirs.

🤔

Whatever his sexual orientation at 10 he shouldn't be searching up stuff like that as it's sexual content. Sounds like his friend is a dodgy influence on him.

This is the time to speak with him about internet safety, porn, that you can't unseen thing you have seen. That there is time to explore this sort of thing once he is older and more mature. I wouldn't be too keen on supporting this friendship. Does the 11 year old go to your ds' school? Are they in different school years?

Brush up on your online safety skills, lock down his phone if he has one and supervise him and his online behaviour.

This.
Have you got restrictions in place on the laptop now?

I was once shocked to discover my daughter had Googled "how to train your dragon". She had never once informed the family that she wanted to get a dragon, hadn't discussed living arrangements or costs, or the practicalities of a 10 year old owning a pet.

I then realised that a search history tells you absolutely nothing about why the person was searching, or if they had even intended to search for the term they searched for, in this age of predictive text etc.

Keep an eye on him, be vaguely aware that this might be something, and see how the next 5 years pans out.

Did your parents ever ask you to confirm if you were heterosexual, and if so what age were you?

I would be livid if DS searched for these things male or female, with a friend on a play date.
I doubt they're in a relationship.

I know this isn't exactly what you're asking but I really don't think it's obvious either way for a lot of parents.

My daughter burst into tears once at the age of about ten, absolutely sobbing because she and her female schoolfriend had declared their undying love for one another but "knew they 'could never be together".

Naturally I dried her tears and asked her why they thought they could never be together, as they absolutely could when they got older if that was what they wanted.

Fast forward to the age of 15 and she's very much into boys.

1. It doesn't matter at all what his eventual orientation is. 2. He likely isn't even sure yet seeing as he is 10!!! 3. It's none of your business. 4. Make sure Internet access is fully supervised 5. Explain about online safety 6. Other than keeping him safe, mind your own business apart from letting him know he can discuss these things with you

He’s 10 years old. I think it’s a bit young to label him

They’re 10! 😂😂