To think budgeting culture has become joyless?

Do people actually care if other people buy hot drinks? It wouldn’t enter my head to even think about it. People can spend their money on whatever they like.
I happily treat myself to a coffee every now and then, but I wouldn’t waste money on a bottle of wine. Others might feel differently.

Well yes. We are all different. I hate walking, and the weather has been shit lately. I prefer a cosy cafe and someone else making the drinks for me.

Yes and no

As a pp says, it depends on how much money you actually have

I don’t see visiting a cafe as a pleasure in life at all! We’re all different 🤷‍♀️ Me and my friends would rather go for a decent walk with a flask.

Budgeting doesn’t necessarily mean watching every penny. I have always done it as a way of not over spending or getting into debt and saving. I still buy coffees out/lunches/clothes/hair and nail appointments etc. Budgeting keeps me on track financially and I look for deals but I still go out for coffees etc with friends. What makes you think those that budget don’t?

"Performative Budgetting" I sort of get what you mean. I have been in the position of having to count every penny so I do understand that it can be an unpleasant necessity but yes for some people it seems to have become a moral virtue.

Budgeting is like eating - we all need to do what suits us and not nag or tut at those who do it differently. It's pestering others about their choices that becomes joyless - and we don't always know what's going on in other people's lives.

I think it depends entirely on the financial situation of the individual.

On one end of the spectrum you have the extreme penny pinchers who think that every purchase that isn’t entirely necessary is a waste of money. At the other end, you’ve got people in debt, who are constantly complaining that they haven’t got any money, but will still buy a hot drink everyday.

@ByNattyFinch , I don't budget as such, but I try to keep an eye on whether or not I actually want or need to buy something.

@BauhausOfEliott , I agree. I don't enjoy the ones I drink when walking so don't bother.

If I'm out and want a coffee I'll go buy one.
Funny story I once bought 4 coffees in the space of hour once.
And binned 3 of them, they didnt taste right, the 4th one was lovely.

It's not a moral failure but it's a waste of money

It's only a waste of money if you don't enjoy it. If you enjoy it, it's money well spent. So it while it might be a waste of your money, it wouldn't be a waste of everyone's. For me, an hour in a coffee shop with a hot drink and a book is an excellent use of a few quid.

I have 2 coffees out every week and really enjoy the whole experience, the waitress's are lovely & and at the moment there's such a festive feeling but much more than that would begin to feel a bit so so and probably make me feel guilty of wasting cash! Big shout out to coffee shop staff too, you are STARS!

Maybe @Pavementworrier also enjoys being out when she has her coffee, and having someone else make it for her. It sounds like it is part of her routine.
Not everything can be replicated at home.

I have a bean to cup machine at home and get that same double espresso for pennies… you can get an ok machine for £80. You’d have paid for it in 26 days. Less than a month. And you’d save £1000+ a year.

@berlinbaby2025, I don't see a cup of coffee on the hoof as a necessity.
If I was meeting a friend and wanted to sit and chat, I'd gladly pay it.

For something like a train journey, I'd take tap water in a bottle.
It's not really about the money, it's about the value.

@Pavementworrier , you get pleasure from it, and can afford it. Makes sense to have it. It's just £3.

I love a takeaway coffee. I buy one every day. Just a double espresso, perfect and a shot of happiness.

But there are some people who will say "oh you buy one every day? I couldn't afford that."

People who could definitely afford to spend £3 a day on something they really loved it's just they enjoy performing tightness.

Annoys me.

I think the tension comes from two places

one when people say they have no money, but really mean I have to prioritise my money as there isnt huge flexibility, and the person speaking to has different priorities.like I prefer small reguksr treats, someone else thinks saving for a holiday is better.

and the other when the person has not enough money and forgoes essentials to have a treat. Eg cant afford a prescription but do buy coffee.

what are the other reasons?

I think it’s a waste of time if you can’t be arsed to make your own and just do it for the convenience. Shop bought coffee is shit most of the time. Or whatever drink of choice. One coffee in town costs more than a packet of ground coffee (that last me two weeks, and I drink coffee every day).

But. If it’s a social thing, it’s justifiable, I don’t mind buying a coffee and having a chat. Would I buy two? Nope.

It's because the basics for living are now far too high for the majority of people.if rent/mortgages/bills didnt take such a huge chunk out of most people's income, they wouldn't have to think so carefully and also the economy would be better because more people would be spending in it.

Be grateful for your privilege if this is new and joyless to you. I grew up and started early adulthood on a tight budget as well as having a period when my DH was out of work due to ill health. It wasn't actually joyless. I remember the joy as a child and the joy on my mums face when she could treat us to a biscuit from the bakery. I remember the joy when I could afford a takeaway for a treat. All things that I take for granted now that I have a decent disposable income.

But you’re talking about yourself, that you don’t want to spend that money on drinks. I don’t think you understand that different people have different priorities?

I would never ever pay £ plus in a coffee shop
It is not budgeting I just think it is ridiculous

This is why I love my co working centre - free coffees as many as you want including oat cappuccinos, flat whites etc, , frequently cereals , croissants and jam, plus fruit , Wednesday cake afternoon ( good stuff too) Friday drinks trolley and twixes etc ( all free) - feel like I’m getting a lot of treaty stuff for my £200 a month workspace

I'm not budgeting any more. I'm an old lady and have enough money to live relatively comfortably. However long ago when my three children were little and things were on a very tight budget, things were very different.
In really enjoyed that time. It was a huge challenge surviving through the week and a feeling of elation when I did. Jam tarts, pies with mince, carrots and onions in them, egg and chips, sausages and mash, veggies if possible from then garden etc, beans on toast, egg on toast, the possibilities are vast.
I loved the challenge. It made the week quite exciting to be honest (sad I know!)