Aibu does anyone else get annoyed getting the same gift every year?

My mum doesn’t do it anymore but for years she always got me a hot water bottle and dressing gown. I have never worn dressing gowns and frankly think the day I start is the day I accept I am old and past it. I also didn’t need that many hot water bottles, I don’t know who would.

Start gifting them back. So year 2 slippers can be this years Christmas gift. She might get the hint

My ex sister in law always always got me a scarf for Christmas..... every bloody time.

It's your parents. Why cant you tell them what you need/would like

I think it's a bit late to nip it in the bud. That's not only opened and blossomed, it's seeded and entire bloody orchard of perfume and slippers!

@grinchmcgrinchface if you say thank you each year, your parents have taken away the impression that perfume and slippers are things you like. Unless you speak up directly, you'll get them forever.

My great aunt on my Mum's side always sends my grandmother on my Dad's side a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream at Christmas. My gran always sent a thank you note.

When gran died I found 23 bottles of unopened Harvey's in her shed. She was teetotal.

Speak up!

Surely next time they visit, just show them the massive box of perfume/slippers and ask them again to buy something different!

Do either have memory issues?

Absolutely! Or use them as decorations on your Christmas tree.

I can’t imagine having a direct fun lighthearted conversation with mine!

My parents ask me what I would like and I ask for their budget and then let them know.

It seems crazy to me that you are given the same gifts every year. Giving for the sake of giving.

I wouldn’t drop hints or make these little comments because many times people don’t pick up on them. You either need to have a conservation about it with them or message them early on next year about what you’d like.

I would message them in November at the latest and say you’ve come across something you really like and you were wondering if they could get it for you for Christmas if it’s within their budget?

Do you buy gifts for them that you know they want?

I can understand why you are fed up but you will probably miss not getting these gifts when they are dead! It’s weird what you miss when you no longer have parents.

Can you gift them to your local women’s aid ?

Honestly you need to nip this in the bud and be honest. Mom I have ten pairs of slippers I have not worn. And I have 20 bottles of unopened perfume. For my birthday could you please get me x or y.

We love adult gifts in our family but we all supply an ideas list. Nothing prescriptive or extravagant but it totally avoids this.

I like handcream but sometimes end up with a backlog so I just mention that on the list. Then no-one buys it. But I might say that I’d like some Cremant or chocolate or socks or pyjamas or earings. Sometimes it might be a specific thing like a book. So we all get a surprise but not a million pairs of slippers.

I think this might be the real problem and I doubt it just manifests at Christmas...

I’d find that quite thoughtless and hurtful tbh, I could say to my mum “fgs mum please no more perfume and slippers I’ve got too much” and we could laugh about it x

I don’t believe people (even parents) who get easily offended and passive aggressive should be pandered to. They soon get the message there’s no audience to be had there.

Maybe bring out all the slippers and perfumes on display when they hand the new lot over and place the new items next to the display in front of them 😁

I never understand threads like this. These are your parents. Do they not know you or like you??? Why can’t you just tell them - mum I’ve got loads of perfume right now, I’d really like x for Christmas. ???

Last year I specifically asked my Mum to not buy me anything at all as she always just buys tat that I give straight to charity. Last year she gave me two perfumes of the same scent which I promptly gave to a friend. This year I told her a bit more firmly so we will see what happens.

MIL buys me scarves, possibly every 2 years so not quite as regularly as you, they are lovely lovely scarves but I only have one neck and now have about 10

Do you have a super polite relationship with them? Surely your mum is one person you can laugh with and tell them straight without feeling like you're offending them.
My MIL gets socks for everyone every year and we all just roll our eyes with a wooowww thanks, just what I needed then everyone bursts out laughing including her. I can't imagine not having honest, direct but lighthearted and fun conversations with parents.

My mum gets me jewellery every birthday. Sounds lovely and it’s a lovely thought but I’m overwhelmed with it, it’s always necklaces and hoop earrings I don’t wear and always from the same shop so the same style every year. I basically have a jewellery box of guilt.
I kindly said last year I had too much already … no more necklaces and she totally understood returned them and she bought something practical I really needed. She was super happy as was I.
This year I opened two more necklaces and some hoop earrings…

I’ve managed to stop most of them apart from a big box of Thornton’s chocolates I get every year from an in-law - at no stage have I ever said I like them and they get passed straight to DH.

I am determined that these gifts stop next year , I always gift them to the same thing (which they love) but it’s just a waste