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Just been told to remove my pronouns from my Teams profile

817 replies

Horrace · 18/12/2025 10:11

I'm weak 🤣
My manager just phoned me to say there has been some serious complaints made about me that he must urgently address.
I panicked.
In the Pronouns section of my Teams profile, I have

'Take a Wild Guess'

Its been there for a few years. Its finally been noticed and I've been told to take it down because it's made someone or more than one possibly, FEARFUL of me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Barney16 · 18/12/2025 23:50

I think that's funny. But then again I do tend to find lots of things funny particularly in the workplace which often resembles a sort of dystopian universe. Keep thinking I may wake up in 1990, realise it was all a bad dream and make better career choices.

SabrinaThwaite · 18/12/2025 23:39

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 23:28

Yes, stair handrail in a non-industrial setting!

It’s about embedding safety culture. Slips, trips and falls are common hazards, mitigate the risk by using the handrail.

Once you get people into that mindset, it makes H&S management much easier, even in an office setting.

whatawalley · 18/12/2025 23:35

Change it to "she / we". It literally takes the piss.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 18/12/2025 23:29

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 23:26

What's the difference between that and 'she/her' next to her name/profile? It leads to the same thing.

There is no difference. Both would be equally detrimental to women. I don't include pronouns in my signature and I would challenge my employer if they tried to included anything that specified my sex by default.

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 23:28

SabrinaThwaite · 18/12/2025 23:25

Do you mean hold the stair handrail?

In which case, it’s about ingraining safety behaviours and following rules put in place to protect the workforce, which ignoring in an office situation might lead to a minor injury (or worse) but ignoring in an industrial situation could be catastrophic.

Yes, stair handrail in a non-industrial setting!

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 23:26

OchonAgusOchonOh · 18/12/2025 23:12

Sure, that's all that's needed if you're happy for the consequent negative impact on women's careers of having attention drawn to their sex.

What's the difference between that and 'she/her' next to her name/profile? It leads to the same thing.

SabrinaThwaite · 18/12/2025 23:25

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 23:00

I've never worked anywhere where it was mandatory. However, I've worked somewhere where it was mandatory to hold the ramp when going up and down the stairs (and where people would call you up on not doing it). Did I feel coerced? No. Did I have a private belief that it went a bit far? Yes. Did I voice this belief, mock the policy or the colleagues following it every time? No. Why? Because it was work.

Do you mean hold the stair handrail?

In which case, it’s about ingraining safety behaviours and following rules put in place to protect the workforce, which ignoring in an office situation might lead to a minor injury (or worse) but ignoring in an industrial situation could be catastrophic.

itsthetea · 18/12/2025 23:16

The only people who NEED to know what sex someone is are sexist because sex doesn’t matter in most ? All? Work environments it’s not useful - it’s enabling assumptions to be made

OchonAgusOchonOh · 18/12/2025 23:12

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 23:10

I don't know why these companies/institutions don't just have male/female listed, or the male or female symbol. That's all that's really needed.

Sure, that's all that's needed if you're happy for the consequent negative impact on women's careers of having attention drawn to their sex.

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 23:10

Muffsies · 18/12/2025 20:24

Some people have gender neutral names and titles. I work in an academic institution, loads of people are Dr X, or their first name is not obviously gendered, or they have a foreign names that they can't readonably expect others to guess is male/female. Many of the academics from overseas appreciate thay everyone puts pronouns on their emails and profiles. I think it's prefectly reasonable to prompt someone to use the correct pronoun, and expect them to respect that. I wouldn't want to constantly be misgendered and have to correct people, would you?

I don't know why these companies/institutions don't just have male/female listed, or the male or female symbol. That's all that's really needed.

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 23:00

JellySaurus · 18/12/2025 22:06

Telling me which pronouns to use when referring to you is coercion. I cannot tell from an email whether ‘Isla Bryson’ is male or female. If Isla puts she/her under the signature, that is an indication that I am expected to refer to Isla as a woman, even in Isla’s absence, regardless of Isla’s actual sex, regardless of which sex I recognise Isla to be. The not-so-veiled threats of what might happen to my career if I don’t submit to the coercion reinforce it.

I've never worked anywhere where it was mandatory. However, I've worked somewhere where it was mandatory to hold the ramp when going up and down the stairs (and where people would call you up on not doing it). Did I feel coerced? No. Did I have a private belief that it went a bit far? Yes. Did I voice this belief, mock the policy or the colleagues following it every time? No. Why? Because it was work.

AnSolas · 18/12/2025 23:00

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:49

Ha ha in your dreams maybe.

Why in my dreams?

The manager is choosing to carry out a act which opens up the company to a financial loss.

Funny how pronoun policys which dont benefit female employees must be complied with/ respected/enforced but sexism is a joke.

Same old same old every single time.

RessicaJabbit · 18/12/2025 22:55

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:46

If he didn’t pass, I would still respect their pronouns.

Don't you mean; if she didn't pass, you'd respect her pronouns...?

LITERAL VIOLENCE.

ThatCyanCat · 18/12/2025 22:53

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:46

If he didn’t pass, I would still respect their pronouns.

You just called him "he" and "their".

It's ok. I know someone who says her sibling isn't a woman even though she clearly is (it's really laboured how she always uses the word "sibling") and she slips up all the time by accidentally calling her "she" and "her" instead of "they". Why wouldn't she? I've met her, she's clearly a woman and everyone who meets her knows it, just like you know your coworker is a man.

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:49

AnSolas · 18/12/2025 22:48

And any manager who engaged in direct sex discrimination against the OP for poorly expressing a PC on the employers cheapscate investor relations fluff is a financial liability to their employer.

Ha ha in your dreams maybe.

AnSolas · 18/12/2025 22:48

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 20:43

OP hasn’t challenged the status quo. She has just been immature.

And any manager who engaged in direct sex discrimination against the OP for poorly expressing a PC on the employers cheapscate investor relations fluff is a financial liability to their employer.

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:46

Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 22:35

So you believe that because you couldn’t correctly identify the sex of your male coworker that you and others should use female language for him? Why? Because he passed in your opinion ?

What would you do if he didn’t pass?

If he didn’t pass, I would still respect their pronouns.

ThatCyanCat · 18/12/2025 22:45

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:23

I think you are very simplistic. Do you know or work with any trans people who you really like and respect?

I know a few trans people. One is a total arsehole but it's nothing to do with being trans. The others are all very nice and I like them (one is a bit annoying but nice). They are all very obviously the sex they are, though, and it's just really absurd that I'm supposed to perceive them as being somehow different. It's as plain as the nose on any face that the trans identified women are women like any other and the trans identified men are men like any other. Actually, it's interesting how, even with short hair and no makeup the women still exude female energy and even with a full face of slap and a dress, the men still exude male energy. There's just... no sodding difference. None. Why would there be?

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:45

TheKeatingFive · 18/12/2025 22:33

You might be fine with pretending humans can change sex. Some of the rest of us have too much respect for science and biological to do that.

I don’t think humans can change sex. I think some humans can feel like they are a different sex.

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:44

Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 22:32

I have people with transgender identities in my daily life that I like and respect.

Respecting them doesn’t mean I have to change my language to suit their philosophical belief about their personal identity. Surely that is respect only going one way- to them and not mutual.

What other group do you act as if you believe their philosophical belief about themselves that is not based on material reality when you don’t? And change your language usage to suit?

It doesn’t hurt me to call them by their pronouns they wish to be called by.

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 22:37

Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 21:48

So, the OP hasn’t confirmed there are no negative ramifications to not using listed pronouns? And so you are trying to convince people that there would be none?

Good oh.

You still have not bothered to answer the questions I asked though. Maybe you can give it a whirl at answering since I was replying to your post about ‘respect’.

Here they are again:

What is respectful about demands of changing language to suit a person’s philosophical belief about themselves that doesn’t reflect material reality?

What is respectful about obscured language that is inaccurate being demanded and supported by policy?

Hello, apologies, I'm going to try and answer, though I'm conscious we may be focusing on different issues here and I may have missed some of the posts.
Your questions:

  • What is respectful about demands of changing language to suit a person’s philosophical belief about themselves that doesn’t reflect material reality?
> As far as I can see, the OP manager's request centered around removing the OP's statement "Take a Wild Guess" from Team's, and not around OP using/not using someone's preferred pronouns. OP has said her statement was meant to antagonise, ridicule and mock those who indicate pronouns in Teams. And it seems it was perceived in that way by one/several colleagues.
  • What is respectful about obscured language that is inaccurate being demanded and supported by policy?
> OP hasn't mentioned a mandatory workplace policy, or the fact that she is now required to use someone's preferred pronouns. She's also confirmed that filling out the pronouns section in Teams is voluntary and can be left blank. I've worked in many different private companies in the UK (I'm a contractor). Every time I join, I'm required to take all the mandatory training a permanent employee would take in a year. This isn't a choice, I would likely get sacked on a week's notice if I didn't. I've never seen a policy whereby using someone's preferred pronouns is mandatory. My experience is similar to OP's in that stating one's pronouns in the inventory, emails or Teams and such like has always been left at people's discretion. In practice, I've never come across a colleague going by gender-neutral pronouns. If I did, I would try and use them, not because I have to or because I'm in thrall to one ideology or the other, but as a mark of respect within the workplace and to foster collaboration. If I made a mistake and forgot, I would apologise, just as I would if I mispronounced a colleague's name. I have a hard to pronounce name myself, but I couldn't care less how colleagues pronounce it. In a job a long time ago, a colleague kept calling me by an entirely different name for a year. It didn't bother me in the slightest. When it comes to others, though, I assume that they care and try my best.
Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 22:35

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:30

Actually I am fine with that. I think of my co worker as a woman and I would not have guessed they were ever a man if they had not told me.

So you believe that because you couldn’t correctly identify the sex of your male coworker that you and others should use female language for him? Why? Because he passed in your opinion ?

What would you do if he didn’t pass?

TheKeatingFive · 18/12/2025 22:33

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:30

Actually I am fine with that. I think of my co worker as a woman and I would not have guessed they were ever a man if they had not told me.

You might be fine with pretending humans can change sex. Some of the rest of us have too much respect for science and biological to do that.

Helleofabore · 18/12/2025 22:32

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:23

I think you are very simplistic. Do you know or work with any trans people who you really like and respect?

I have people with transgender identities in my daily life that I like and respect.

Respecting them doesn’t mean I have to change my language to suit their philosophical belief about their personal identity. Surely that is respect only going one way- to them and not mutual.

What other group do you act as if you believe their philosophical belief about themselves that is not based on material reality when you don’t? And change your language usage to suit?

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 22:30

TheKeatingFive · 18/12/2025 22:25

Liking and respecting people does not involve going along with a lie that they have changed sex.

Actually I am fine with that. I think of my co worker as a woman and I would not have guessed they were ever a man if they had not told me.