Page 17 | Just been told to remove my pronouns from my Teams profile

Horrace · 2025-12-18T10:11:42+00:00

I'm weak 🤣 My manager just phoned me to say there has been some serious complaints made about me that he must urgently address. I panicked. In the Pronouns section of my Teams profile, I have 'Take a Wild Guess' Its been there for a few years. Its finally been noticed and I've been told to take it down because it's made someone or more than one possibly, FEARFUL of me.

5128gap · 18/12/2025 14:17

MissDoubleU · 18/12/2025 13:59

I wonder what would happen if your colleagues now used he/him pronouns with you as you haven’t clarified and have made no preference known. Would it upset you/would you be offended at being misgendered?

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I decline to share my pronouns. In meetings I just ignore the 'invitation' and give my name and role and leave the pronoun part out.
Everyone calls me my name or 'you' to my face, as is customary. When speaking about me, as far as I'm aware they continue to say 'she' just as people have for the decades of my career spent before stating pronouns was a thing.
On one occasion, an EDI trainer chose to refer to me as 'they'. It amused me tbh as it was clearly done to make a point as the appropriate pronoun for me could never be in any serious doubt.

Diverze · 18/12/2025 14:17

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 14:12

So what? I don’t care if someone male doesn’t want to use the gents, that’s where they belong and they can sure as hell stay out of the ladies. Oh, and nowadays plenty of women and girls restrict fluids, especially in schools, as they know their spaces are no longer their own. So thanks for that.

And campaign for more third spaces - if trans activists had spent the last 10 years doing that instead of trying to invade and colonise spaces that are not there’s, the situation might be very different.

But of course that’s not what they want.

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Thats not what "they" want?

It absolutely 100 percent is what my trans daughter wants.

And she does "stay the hell out of the ladies". You cannot force her to use the men's. She has autonomy and free will and she chooses not to use toilets that are not 3rd space. I genuinely don't understand why that riles you.

My children - the boy, the girl, the trans woman who was a boy - ALL hated unisex toilet provision in school. I don't think you can blame my one trans daughter who transitioned 18 months ago for that policy, nor me for that matter.

ACynicalDad · 18/12/2025 14:16

Dancingsquirrels · 18/12/2025 12:10

If my name was eg Alex, I might be happy if some people assumed I might be male. It's well known that some people still take men more seriously in the workplace

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I'm more thinking of ethnic minority names.

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 14:12

Diverze · 18/12/2025 12:19

Because they don't want to? Though if forced DC tends to use the men's, but doesn't feel she belongs in there.
I have no intention of policing that. You don't understand what it feels like to trans and neither do I. I just believe that she would rather not go than use male facilities, and knows if she uses female facilities she will make others feel uncomfortable. If forced, she chooses her own discomfort over making others uncomfortable.

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So what? I don’t care if someone male doesn’t want to use the gents, that’s where they belong and they can sure as hell stay out of the ladies. Oh, and nowadays plenty of women and girls restrict fluids, especially in schools, as they know their spaces are no longer their own. So thanks for that.

And campaign for more third spaces - if trans activists had spent the last 10 years doing that instead of trying to invade and colonise spaces that are not there’s, the situation might be very different.

But of course that’s not what they want.

Diverze · 18/12/2025 14:12

This reply has been deleted

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Are you ok?

I'm wearing jeans and a jumper. As it happens so is my trans daughter. She just made herself an egg sandwich.

She's just living in a way that makes sense to her. I am sorry that appears to make you so angry.

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 14:08

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 14:00

No need to know. Just address them by their name.

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Well I am saying I find it very useful as we often do use pronouns in emails and then it’s easier to get them right.

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 14:08

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 13:14

If I were you I would carefully read your employers bullying and harassment policy and reflect on how much I'd fancy the risk of being taken through a disciplinary or grievance procedure.

If the answer is not very much I would adjust my attitude and behaviour at work accordingly (suggest that laughing in the meeting with your manager wasn't the best move you could have made if you wanted to avoid risk).

Of course if you don't care that much about your current employment, future references etc just behave how you see fit. It wouldn't be considered good professional judgement in many workplaces.

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It might interest you to know that the vast majority of employment tribunals on the basis of gender critical belief find in favour of the gender critical employee. That would be quite a risky step for the employer to take, to suggest that laughing at an ideology is bullying or harassment.

Fandangoes · 18/12/2025 14:07

AgentPidge · 18/12/2025 10:27

Excellent!

I really don't understand about the pronouns thing. It's for talking about you when you're not there, such a niche thing to be concerned about. (I'd rather state my choice of biscuits, tbh, or the fact that I'm not a morning person so not to expect a conversation at 9 am.) But if you decline to state your pronouns and therefore people are 'forced' to guess, and you obviously don't care how they refer to you, why is that a problem? If you're Alex from Accounts and people can't tell if you should be she or he, they can call you "that wanker from Accounts" or "Alex" if they want to be polite, but it won't matter to you because you aren't there at the time!

I love this idea! Can I put (oat milk / no sugar)

Ddakji · 18/12/2025 14:05

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Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 18/12/2025 14:04

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Ddakji · 18/12/2025 14:02

MissDoubleU · 18/12/2025 13:59

I wonder what would happen if your colleagues now used he/him pronouns with you as you haven’t clarified and have made no preference known. Would it upset you/would you be offended at being misgendered?

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Using he/him for someone female isn’t misgendering as those words don’t refer to someone’s gender, they refer to their sex.

I would laugh if anyone used he/him for me.

Original poster

Horrace · 18/12/2025 14:01

MissDoubleU · 18/12/2025 13:59

I wonder what would happen if your colleagues now used he/him pronouns with you as you haven’t clarified and have made no preference known. Would it upset you/would you be offended at being misgendered?

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Well I'd hope they'd address me by my name. I dont give a shit what they call me behind my back

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ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 14:00

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 13:57

I work for a global company and I actually find pronouns quite useful as I cannot always tell by the persons name if they are a man or a woman.

No need to know. Just address them by their name.

MissDoubleU · 18/12/2025 13:59

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:34

By leaving my pronouns blank, all colleagues will now have to take a guess at my pronouns.

I wonder what would happen if your colleagues now used he/him pronouns with you as you haven’t clarified and have made no preference known. Would it upset you/would you be offended at being misgendered?

Cybiil · 18/12/2025 13:57

I work for a global company and I actually find pronouns quite useful as I cannot always tell by the persons name if they are a man or a woman.

Millytante · 18/12/2025 13:54

whittingtonmum · 18/12/2025 10:22

I think this can be interpreted as ridiculing those who share their preferred pronouns at work. I would not call this is professional behaviour or think it's acceptable in the workplace. If I were your manager I would have asked you to take this down before complaints come in. You don't have to share your preferred pronouns if you don't wish to do so but 'take a wild guess' is not appropriate in the workplace. No doubt transphopbic mumsnetters will disagree but wonder how many of them work professionally in environments where diversity and inclusion are regarded as part of a professional business environment.

Yeah, have to agree. No way on Earth would I agree to play the pronouns game at work (and I agree, let ‘em guess, because I couldn't care less) but still, you never know how others receive attempts at wit or sarcasm and it’s best to avoid such indulgence.
You'd be amazed OP how some people take humour, never mind sarcasm. In this particular case, it’s inevitable some would take your phrase as dismissive of other’s choices.
Bullying is always the default complaint.

Seriestwo · 18/12/2025 13:53

If someone is made fearful by pronouns then they probably need to go off sick and see a psychologist. That’s batshite

Original poster

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:46

ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 13:34

Do you have to put pronouns on? Or can you just leave it blank?

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Can leave it blank which i now have.

What I'm pointing out is that now, people will have to take a guess. Which is what was written in the first place

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Ncncnca · 18/12/2025 13:46

Poetnojo · 18/12/2025 13:40

All that she 'implied' is that its obvious she is a woman. Still not harassment.

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No, she mocked the idea of pronouns. Which I’m going to take a wild guess (based on some people complaining about this) a portion of the company use, if not identify differently. Mocking is harassment.

Harassment is defined as unwanted and unwarranted conduct that has the purpose or effect of violating another person’s dignity, or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for another person.

Poetnojo · 18/12/2025 13:40

Ncncnca · 18/12/2025 13:28

It’s what’s implied.

If Janet from accounting had pink hair and you set your status on Teams to ‘only blondes have fun’ and people amongst the office knew it was about your dislike of Janet’s hair - it would constitute as bullying and / or harassment. For a supposedly non issue, “bit of banter”.

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All that she 'implied' is that its obvious she is a woman. Still not harassment.

Diverze · 18/12/2025 13:37

Holdmeclosertinydancer2018 · 18/12/2025 13:01

'doesn't identify with maleness' what exactly does this mean? Didn't play with toy cars as a kid? Doesn't like the colour blue?

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I don't know. I don't have gender dysphoria. And I don't think you are asking in good faith.

Fwiw they did play with cars, a bit. Trains were their favourite though.

Original poster

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:35

LVhandbagsatdawn · 18/12/2025 13:33

You haven't. Probably for good reason.

You did say: "The reason it was noticed is a whole other story which also got me in trouble"

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Yes but it also got them in trouble.

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ThatBlackCat · 18/12/2025 13:34

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:34

By leaving my pronouns blank, all colleagues will now have to take a guess at my pronouns.

Do you have to put pronouns on? Or can you just leave it blank?

ForSoLong · 18/12/2025 13:34

LVhandbagsatdawn · 18/12/2025 13:23

The whataboutery is irrelevant. What other people do is of no relevance to OPs behaviour, which is unprofessional.

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Companies bring these ridiculous and unprofessional ideologies to our work environment but expect professionalism in return. Sometimes they won’t get it and will get their own behaviour mimicked back to them.

Original poster

Horrace · 18/12/2025 13:34

By leaving my pronouns blank, all colleagues will now have to take a guess at my pronouns.

OP posts: