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Original poster

To have let this women know her lights were on

63 replies

gigbroken · 18/12/2025 09:18

I parked up in Tesco park and in the car next to me was a women eating a sandwich but her car headlights were on. When I come back out after doing my shopping she was still there with the lights still on. I assumed she'd forgotten to turn them off and motioned for her to roll down the window and I told her that her lights were on and they might drain her battery.

She responded by telling me to 'f off and mind your own business'. Was I wrong? I just thought I'd want someone to tell me. It's really not that serious

OP posts:
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colddarkdarkcold · 18/12/2025 12:43

It doesn’t mean she’s suicidal but it does mean she probably doesn’t want to be disturbed. I think most people wouldn’t actually appreciate it, even if they insist they would.

ilovepixie · 18/12/2025 12:35

Livelaughlurgy · 18/12/2025 09:39

I think that a pp has it right. If you're horsing a sandwich into you in a car in a retail car park in December you're hanging on by a thread. She was rude but it wasn't about you or anything you'd done.

Stupid thing to say! She might be a worker on a break! There’s umpteen reasons she’s eating a sandwich. Doesn’t mean she’s suicidal FFS!

FlyingApple · 18/12/2025 12:22

Don't give it another thought. Her reaction was nothing about you, you were just an outlet.

Rosamutabilis · 18/12/2025 12:20

Livelaughlurgy · 18/12/2025 12:10

In my defense - I said someone eating a sandwich in a retail car park in December. In my experience no one enjoys sitting in car parks in December where every 10 seconds someone is asking you if you're leaving and there's queues and fighting over spots. This coupled with her being rude to the op makes me think she's hanging on by a thread.

I think most people who eat in a car park are probably stuff for time. It's not like you plan to do it as a relaxing experience. You do it because it's convenient and you've no other options.

Good god what kind of supermarkets do you go to where people are fighting over spots and constantly asking you if you're leaving?! I've never experienced anything like that even right near Christmas and I'm in my sixties.

I have fairly often eaten a sandwich in my car in a supermarket carpark. It's been because I'm going shopping and doing something else and it's over lunchtime. I don't want to go in the supermarket cafe full of people and pay extra to have the same lunch. A meal deal in the car is infinitely preferable. I think it's fine, listen to the radio etc. Doesn't make a difference whether it's December or summer. I'm not stressed when I do it either.

ForSoLong · 18/12/2025 12:20

I wouldn’t have told her that her lights were on, but she was very rude. She could have just said ok and carried on eating.

Most people wouldn’t have responded like she did. Don’t dwell on it.

Iocanepowder · 18/12/2025 12:15

GoodBrew · 18/12/2025 09:45

A woman once tapped on my window in Tesco car park because my engine had been running for a while. I've no idea why she needed to do that, my windows weren't fogged and she could see me through the glass. It's not like I was sleeping and looked dead, I was moving my head around and my eyes were open.

As it happens I was crying my eyes out while my little one slept in the car seat. I had just received some terrible news and my son was such a bad sleeper the only way to soothe him was to drive or sit with the engine on.

I was bloody pissed off with her as she woke my son up and that was the only bit of sleep he had in nearly 24 hours. People need to mind their own fucking business.

I actually hear this.

Sometimes people are going through things and need some peace and quiet.

Although another person is trying to do the right thing, to the other person it can just feel like everything is coming down on them.

I wouldn’t have told you to fuck off op but I probably would have told you to leave me alone.

Livelaughlurgy · 18/12/2025 12:10

In my defense - I said someone eating a sandwich in a retail car park in December. In my experience no one enjoys sitting in car parks in December where every 10 seconds someone is asking you if you're leaving and there's queues and fighting over spots. This coupled with her being rude to the op makes me think she's hanging on by a thread.

I think most people who eat in a car park are probably stuff for time. It's not like you plan to do it as a relaxing experience. You do it because it's convenient and you've no other options.

MaryPaul · 18/12/2025 12:09

Honestly it was non of your business

Ablondiebutagoody · 18/12/2025 12:08

The battery won't drain in the 30 minutes or whatever that she was there. Leave her alone.

TheignT · 18/12/2025 12:07

BringBackCatsEyes · 18/12/2025 12:03

I bet there is a manual way to turn the lights off.

Show quote history

Yes but the post I was replying to was saying if the engine was off the lights would go off. That isn't always the case, if the car was like mine she might have forgotten to manually turn them off.

BringBackCatsEyes · 18/12/2025 12:03

TheignT · 18/12/2025 11:35

In my car the lights don't go off if the engine is off until you open the door.

Show quote history

I bet there is a manual way to turn the lights off.

Bumply · 18/12/2025 12:03

As someone who once drained their car battery in a Tesco car park charging my phone without the car running I would have thanked you.

I ended up hauling my shopping home by bus as RAC eta was ridiculous. Had to come back the following day when I had more time to hang around waiting in RAC.

Fionasapples · 18/12/2025 12:02

AppropriateAdult · 18/12/2025 10:26

Why is it so weird to eat a sandwich in a parked car?! She was probably waiting for someone who was shopping. Bit ridiculous to assume this is the sign of somebody ‘hanging by a thread’ Confused

Yes, I've eaten many a sandwich in a supermarket car park and been perfectly ok! I didn't realise it was a sign of something awful!

OriginalSkang · 18/12/2025 11:59

I think the "they might drain your battery" was a bit much tbh. I don't think a battery is going to drain while she's sitting in the car, even for an hour. Unless its particularly shit. I think you were over the top to bother her with it tbh. I wouldn't have told you to eff off or anything, but it would probably have annoyed me

stickygotstuck · 18/12/2025 11:56

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 18/12/2025 11:37

I bloody hate these fucking idiots who sit in their car facing the opposite direction, so their blinding you as your driving along.

Show quote history

Thank you, I thought I was going mad at some of the responses.

Seriously people, learn to switch your headlights off! Just because something is automatic it doesn't mean it's beneficial, or cannot be disabled.

And while you're at it, also learn to use the manual setting more generally. The automatic sensors are too slow to dip them early enough half of the time. This is why we all complain about glare at night and there are so many accidents due to said glare.

colddarkdarkcold · 18/12/2025 11:52

I think the ‘hanging on by a thread’ comments are just in relation to the fact it’s probably a very rare moment of peace and quiet. And it is frustrating when that’s disturbed. I don’t need to be slavishly grateful for other people’s unhelpful information, I really don’t!

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 18/12/2025 11:49

Yep, the usual attempt at a friendly gesture ends in being told to f off, then (semi) piled on on MN. Britain in 2026. What a moral wasteland it's become.

oldFoolMe · 18/12/2025 11:44

really rude of her but modern cars can have the lights on for quite a bit longer without risk compared to older cars. Maybe she felt you were implying she was stupid?

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 18/12/2025 11:37

stickygotstuck · 18/12/2025 09:48

The woman was beyond rude. And ungrateful.

Also, people don't know how their car lights work. They should bloody learn.

I attend an evening class. It's dark when I get there. There is a decent car park buy it's almost full so it means lost of manouvering.

I'm beyond pissed off at idiotic and /or inconsiderate people who park up (or worse, stop sideways waiting to pick up), leave the lights on all the bloody time, and dazzle you, leaving you unable to park or liable to run someone over because I CANNOT SEE.

I intend to knock on their window next time, and anticipate a similar enraging response to the woman in the OP. I cannot guarantee I'll keep calm.

Anyone with automatic lights, please turn them off when parked. Or don't be surprised if you cause a road rage incident in a car park at night!

I bloody hate these fucking idiots who sit in their car facing the opposite direction, so their blinding you as your driving along.

Driftingawaynow · 18/12/2025 11:37

You are a good egg op, she was incredibly rude.

Cakeandcardio · 18/12/2025 11:35

She should have said 'oh thank you'
She is just a nasty piece of work. Move on. You cannot change them.

TheignT · 18/12/2025 11:35

sandyhappypeople · 18/12/2025 11:05

I told her that her lights were on and they might drain her battery.

She has eyes, and she knows how her car works, she knows her lights were on OP, unless she was in a VERY old car, the headlights would switch on/off automatically when the engine is off, she obviously had the ignition on listening to the radio/heater on while eating her sandwich.. so would have been very aware her lights were also on.

My car is 13 years old, and while I don't have automatic headlight (sensors) I keep mine on all the time this time of year and they go off when the engine is turned off, if I'm sat there having a break, and someone came up condescendingly telling me "I might drain my battery" it would rub me up the wrong way too to be honest, not to that response, but still.

She was rude, but anything could have happened to her in the last few hours, or be happening in her life, so if you feel the need next time, just ask if they know their lights are on? No need to infer they are too stupid to know they are using their battery reserve for a short time.

In my car the lights don't go off if the engine is off until you open the door.

WildLeader · 18/12/2025 11:34

AppropriateAdult · 18/12/2025 10:26

Why is it so weird to eat a sandwich in a parked car?! She was probably waiting for someone who was shopping. Bit ridiculous to assume this is the sign of somebody ‘hanging by a thread’ Confused

Well… Tbf it’s Tesco’s not Waitrose.

the poor wee lamb is clearly borderline unhinged

TheignT · 18/12/2025 11:32

MidnightColours · 18/12/2025 11:15

You never know, even though she was very rude, you may have helped this lady. I've found that when the going gets tough, kind gestures and (well-intended) attention from strangers have helped transform my day. And if she's just a rude so-and-so that's fine as well, she won't think of it and you don't need to either. Don't let it discourage you from paying attention to others. You noticing and being kind to strangers can make a huge difference if someone is going through a tough time.

You reminded me of my husband seeing a man drop a big brown envelope. DH picked it up and it wasn't sealed and you could see bundles if 10 and 20 pound notes. DH went after him and said excuse me, man aggressively told him to piss off. We stood there not sure what to do. Sheepish man came back and asked for his envelope. No apology, no thank you.

zingally · 18/12/2025 11:32

Honestly, she sounds like a twat. You were trying to do a kind thing.

I think I'd just assume she had "problems" and try and forget about it.

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