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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my cousin's baby might have died?

79 replies

AsIfIWish · 17/12/2025 22:35

I'll try and make this short. I feel like this is both a very minor yet possibly a very major question! My family/extended family members are all very friendly with each other, but my parents moved a long way away from the rest of the family when I was young, so I've never been close to my aunts, uncles and cousins and don't see them much now that I'm grown/married myself. We see them at weddings, funerals and the occasional big birthday family gathering, but that's it. Just due to covid and lack of family events etc, it's probably 6 years since I saw the cousin in question as they live the furthest away.

I always send Christmas cards to these family members to show I'm thinking of them, but most of the time I don't know much about their lives, save for the couple of people who include letters with their news. This is especially the case on my dad's side of the family, because relatives sometimes tell him things on the phone and he forgets to tell my mum, or any of us!

So, I'm about to write a card to my cousin on my dad's side, when I suddenly remember that last year in her card to my parents (and possibly her card to us too, I can't remember), she wrote that they were expecting a baby, due in March this year. The only trouble is, neither I nor my mum or dad have any recollection of being told about this baby actually being born...

I feel awful not putting anything about it in the card, in case the baby WAS born and my dad forgot to tell us, but likewise I don't want to assume that everything was fine and dandy and include the (nameless!) baby in the card, just in case something awful happened.

I can't ask the cousin myself and nor will my mum (I asked her), but my dad won't get round to asking anyone about it for weeks either - if at all. I also need to send my Christmas cards asap.

Help. What do I do?!

OP posts:
Celiathebanshee · 17/12/2025 22:39

‘To you all’

badjeans · 17/12/2025 22:38

Quick text to a different cousin/aunt - “Just doing my Christmas cards, am I right that Sarah had a baby this year? Could you let me know what little one is called? Dads terrible at passing on news.”

Bernadinetta · 17/12/2025 22:38

To Cousin and Family
Love from @AsIfIWish and Family

See what names are in the card back 👀

Greengagesnfennel · 17/12/2025 22:37

Have you checked Facebook?