Do you have a Christmas dinner on Christmas Day? AIBU to politely decline

Yeah, prioritising a particular type of food over people - really?

if it’s nice weather on Christmas Day we sometimes go somewhere for a walk with a picnic and have the roast dinner on another day. Beef not turkey though because it’s much nicer.

I just really hate a roast 🤣

In my entire life I would never make one or order one in a restaurant m. But come Christmas Day we all have to pretend it’s amazing. I absolutely hate it.

I'm in the minority here but...YANBU

I think MIL is BU for casually announcing it's a buffet without any consultation!!

Few people suggesting Christmas Eve and Boxing Day - great for those that it suits but I'm with you, Christmas Day is Christmas Dinner and I wouldn't have the same level of enthusiasm for cooking it or eating it another day.

In our family these sorts of decisions are communal...we have talked about doing something different and changed the meat up a bit (Turkey and Goose and one year when we were in a temp rental while our house was delayed a Turducken - so all "Christmassy Meats") but I think making a unilateral decision to go so off piste is a bit off tbf. You've offered to host, she wants to host so it suits her better.

If it was only arranged 2 days ago I would absolutely say sorry, didn't realise you meant a buffet when you suggested we all come to you and that puts a different spin on it. Say they're still welcome at yours, and offer to pop over for a bit in the morning / late afternoon / early eve but do lunch at your own house.

Prepares to be flamed 😂

How I would hate to be so rigid in my thinking.

No cooking involved and a buffet? Count me in. You can have a roast dinner at home any time, spending time with family is more important.

Have it Christmas eve you might even be surprised how much you like it not spending Christmas morning in the kitchen actually being able to spend time with the family. I know someone who always has Christmas dinner on Christmas eve as it means they can spend time with the kids opening presents and playing with the new toys.

We do - and I like a traditional Christmas dinner. But it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest to have it on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day! I’d go to the in-laws and just defer the roast until the following day.

Well then say no, don’t ruin your day.

I wouldn’t be happy with this and would just tell them that I wouldn’t be joining because I want to have a cooked traditional Christmas dinner. There’s nothing wrong with the truth as long as you’re kind.

Ours has always been the first day we were all together so the host could cook before visitors arrived and then had maximum time with them - traditionally with overseas family it was usually 23rd or 24th, now it's when my brother & his family come so will be 26th or 27th. We also move Christmas Day and mark it on the full day we're all together - it works for us.

To be honest I was going to say YABU for wanting to pull out when Christmas day is a week tomorrow.

But if you were only invited 2 days ago and she'll have the rest of the family there anyway, I might politely decline in favour of a roast dinner at home.

How far away does she live? Would you be able to pop over in the evening and spend some time with them all?

I've not had a traditional Christmas dinner for years and years.
I generally make gabanzos and serve it with crusty bread. It's the type of food we like.
I'd be quite happy with the buffet that you have been invited to. Surely you can have a roast dinner at home whenever you want?

No I wouldn’t pull out over her choice of meal- seems really petty if you’d otherwise be happy to go. There’s no law that says people have to do turkey.

Just cook yourself a traditional meal on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day, no biggie. Lots of cultures have the main Christmas meal on Christmas Eve.

I’m Team Buffet - kind of.

I’m doing lobster, oysters, salmon, dressed crab, green lipped mussels, scallops, shrimps, chips and French bread. Assorted dressings / vinaigrettes. Champagne. Heaven on a platter!

We never have Christmas dinner, because we don't like it.
But it's just a day - why can't you just cook your own whenever you want....it doesn't have to be on 25th.

Maybe say you could contribute to the buffet - with a turkey, some ham, roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, a few sauces (cranberry, bread, gravy), Brussels, carrots….

I’d be gutted!

But honestly what difference does it make if you have the 'perfect turkey roast' on the 24th or 25th or 26th? (and personally I'd go for having it on the 24th, so you go to the buffet feeling satiated not depreived). As long as you get to eat your special meal sometime over the festive period.

It is just an arbitary date.

If you get on, I wouldn't miss Christmas with family because of the menu. I'd definitely cook Christmas dinner another day though, maybe Christmas Eve so there's leftovers for boxing day etc

Christmas day just isn't right without Christmas dinner. I have lots of get together with friends and family around Christmas with various foods, but thats not Christmas day.

Are you there all day could you do Christmas dinner at home before or after ?

Would you honestly not spend time with family for…some roast spuds 🤣🤣🤣

Hang on, no cooking? Count me in! See if you can wangle no washing up too, grins.
Just have a roast boxing day. Sorted, get best of both worlds.

Christmas Dinner is the world’s worst meal. Heavy and bland and dull. I’d bloody love a buffet instead!

I’d be disappointed but would still go, I’d do Christmas dinner on Boxing Day instead