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AIBU?

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Husband refusing family Xmas day!

457 replies

Holidaywoes12 · 17/12/2025 21:06

Advice please, both myself and hubby feeling hurt atm.
So I come from a family, although small, have always come together for christmas dinner, it was my favourite part of christmas growing up and anything else feels so wrong. My husband has always had an issue with this and every December would be a big upheavel and upset with him refusing any of my family members over, (my father a widow) before eventually allowing them to come! Every year the same argument. This year, he has gone no contact with his mother and sister, and has told me seeing that he wont be seeing them for christmas I wont be having fanily over. My brother who I only see at christmas has been looking forward to visit and see our children and my father of course will certainly be coming, but not without a whole load of stress and silent trratment from husband first. He says he does not like a crowd and is upset about not seeing his mother and sister. I have explained to him things dont have to be this way and tbh a good adult conversation between them would probably sort it, but he’s not interested. Should I try husbands way of having no visitors at christmas? Something that would work for us both? He knows that my father comong over is a no brainsr because he lives alone, bit its still an argument every year!

OP posts:
gogomomo2 · 17/12/2025 21:13

It’s very late to be messing people around! Whatever happens this year can i suggest you sort the arrangements out much earlier next year especially if you are changing things

HappyMamma2023 · 17/12/2025 21:12

It isn't just your husband's decision you get a say too. If he cared about you he wouldn't make it such a big deal. Hope you can agree a compromise and not face the silent treatment OP. Take care

IdaGlossop · 17/12/2025 21:11

Your husband sounds quite controlling. Where is your power in this relationship? Giving you the silent treatment is a childish way to resolve a disagreement. Why should you uninvite your family because your DH wants to wallow in self pity?

Contrarymary30 · 17/12/2025 21:11

Holidaywoes12 · 17/12/2025 21:06

Advice please, both myself and hubby feeling hurt atm.
So I come from a family, although small, have always come together for christmas dinner, it was my favourite part of christmas growing up and anything else feels so wrong. My husband has always had an issue with this and every December would be a big upheavel and upset with him refusing any of my family members over, (my father a widow) before eventually allowing them to come! Every year the same argument. This year, he has gone no contact with his mother and sister, and has told me seeing that he wont be seeing them for christmas I wont be having fanily over. My brother who I only see at christmas has been looking forward to visit and see our children and my father of course will certainly be coming, but not without a whole load of stress and silent trratment from husband first. He says he does not like a crowd and is upset about not seeing his mother and sister. I have explained to him things dont have to be this way and tbh a good adult conversation between them would probably sort it, but he’s not interested. Should I try husbands way of having no visitors at christmas? Something that would work for us both? He knows that my father comong over is a no brainsr because he lives alone, bit its still an argument every year!

Could you go to your Dads house and you do a Christmas meal there ? Your brother could come and see you all there . Leave your miserable H at home !

PoorPhaedra · 17/12/2025 21:10

Why does he get to tell you what to do? Is he your boss?

nutbrownhare15 · 17/12/2025 21:10

Go out to meet your relatives and leave your miserable husband at home on his own. Does he have any redeeming qualities? Silent treatment and trying to separate you from family members are indicators of domestic abuse.

BestFruitForward · 17/12/2025 21:09

Honestly he sounds a dick. Just don’t care what he says.